I ALMOST DIED...MY STORY

First of all thank you to Iabadman for starting that thread for me,and to each and every one of you that posted and sent me well wishes.It put tears in my eyes but a smile on my face knowing my brothers are always here for me.I love you guys.

2 weeks ago,it seemed I was at my peak. 245 jacked and strong as shit,best shape I have ever been in (not highest bodyweight,but best overall package)My lower abs were my last problem,as that was where my fat was.I trained Monday,had a slight fever,didnt feel great but still kicked ass in the gym.Tuesday I rested and then fateful Wednesday came along.

I woke up with what I thought was a stomach pain,nothing major but it got progressively worse as the day went on.I was going to train at about 4 PM so I hoped my pain was just "shit" related.But after a regular bowel movement the pain was still there.Around 1PM I started getting hot and sweaty,and nauseas.About 2PM I had to lay down,so I get in bed.The pain now is getting unbearable.The center of my abdomen,right where the sternum ends down my right side,is like a knife in me.I roll off the bed and try to throw up but cannot.Im on my knees now doubled over in pain.I literally can't do a fucking thing but hold onto my stomach.Finally I reach for the phone and call my mother,tell her whats going on and to get an ambulance to me NOW.

She gets to my place,which is only a few blocks away,helps me get clothes on,helps me sit in a chair,and waits with me for the ambulance.Within minutes 5-6 paramedics are in my apartment,checking me over etc. etc. I do not know if it was adrenaline or what but I was able to walk to the ambulance.Once I get in there I lay down,and boom,all the pain returns and the ride to the hospital is pure hell,they must have hit every pothole.My mom is with me,and the look on her face is pure sadness and pain,I feel so bad that she is going through this.

Once in the emergency room,I lay there for a good 2 hours before anything gets done(this is a Brooklyn hospital,the worst possible)My girl arrives,same look in her face as my mom,the both of them have to see me like this.Finally,I get an IV,I get a sonogram.I hear them talking about liver,no its bowel,well it could be liver.They have no fucking clue!!!

They roll me out of there and get me ready for a catscan,but before they do this,its time for an EKG.They hook me up,the nurse says"are you feeling ok" Doctors rush over."Umm sir,it appears you are on the verge of a massive heart attack" My girl and mom are hysterical,Im in fucking shock.The doctor says they have to transfer me to a hospital in NYC that specializes in heart conditions,because I may need a stent put in.30 years old and I need a fucking stent?Anyway,my mom and girl are all fucked up CRYING,im destroyed and wait to be carted away.

Finally,they get me to the other hospital after another pothole ride from hell.The pain in my side has never stopped and has gotten even worse.Im basically half unconscious now.They rush me iin and perform the test where they run dye through the artery in your groin through your heart.I dont feel shit,but Im laying there fucking naked,with tubes and monitors and every fucking thing imaginable.They take me in to my room in intensive care after the procedure.I go to sleep.They wake me its about 4 in the morning Thursday,my mom and girl are with me,and the docs explain that my heart is fine,no problems BUT they noticed ALOT of bleeding around my liver.

Im prepped for a catscan then surgery.It turns out I had a massive hematoma of the liver and it burst.They go in through the artery of my groin again and somehow(they mentioned a foam) blocked off all the blood flow to that part of my liver.

The way the doctor described it is that after heavy steroid usage,especially orals,pools of blood form in the liver.Could be one or many,And as they grow,its like a water balloon,they burst.This is what happened to me
.

I ended up losing about 5 pints of blood total over 3 days time.I had blood put back into me for those 3 days.I was in critical condition for that time,and I was very lucky in the end.Alittle longer and I would have bled to death,or my liver would have just shut down and died.Best case I would have needed a liver transplant.But thankfully it was caught in time.

I did not eat anything for 6 days.I was a fucking mess.On day 7 things drasticlly improved.I was able to sit up,and eat.First liquids,then solids on day 9.My liver values improved.My eyes became crystal clear.I felt better.But I still had alot of pain,which was common.My abdomen swelled up during this time,very big.Im talking very distended,from all the blood and fluid that built up in there.My upper body mass,disapeared,it looks like I never lifted a weight.

Total weight loss after this is almost 30lbs !!! I was able to come home this weekend,because my condition improved.But I am limited to alot of rest and very little activity.It will be a few weeks until I am able to go out and do anything.It will be awhile until I can even think about the gym.The next month will be full of blood tests and MRIs.And I will not know the full extent of the damage I did to myself until alot of the fluid is reabsorbed in my abdomen.

I did not feel good for awhile before this happened,but I thought it was cycle related.I definetly over did this,my cycle was
60-100mg Dbol/day
100mg tren/day
100mg prop/day
and this was for at least 2 months.

Again,I did this to myself.I blame nobody and I am not looking for sympathy.I just want you guys to be aware of what can happen.I neglected getting blood work for about 2 years now.I took a ton of creatine while on cycle.I just had the more is better attitude and that I was invincible.Well guess what,none of us is superman.

If you fuck up with this lifestyle it will catch up to you.I am the perfect example.I will never preach against steroids,BUT Goddamn it listen to these older guys that say moderate cycles are better.Everything in moderation.I thought it would never happen to me,but it did.

Please,brothers,listen to me,and listen to the wise vets on here.I cried when I walked out of the hosptial,because I thought I was going to die,and yet,I walked out on my own 2 feet.I was given a second chance and there is no looking back.Im not out of the woods yet,the many tests I have to take will determine that,but IM ALIVE.

30 LBS of muscle lost is heartbreaking,and the way I look right now is depressing as hell.But the look on my girls face,the looks on my friends and family's faces,I never want to see that again.I will fight back at this,and I will return to the gym.But my steroid days are over.My health,my family,and my girl are more important to me.Life is more important to me.

Please brothers,look at what you are doing,and make sure you are making the right decisions.Get your bloodwork and realize that what happened to me can happen to anyone of you.God bless,and I look forward to your responses.......
BN

BALDNAZI, GOOD POST. SORRY THAT HAPPENED TO YOU.

I MUST TELL YOU....IF THIS HAPPENING TO YOU...AND YOU POSTING YOUR EXPERIENCE HELPS JUST ONE OTHER LIFTER NOT TO RISK THEIR HEALTH...THEN SOMETHING GOOD CAN COME OF THE SITUATION.

AGAIN....IT SUCKS THAT THIS HAPPENED TO YOU. I AM GLAD YOU ARE TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF. GET WELL....

Dude...glad to hear you're going to be alright and healthy.

Props for posting what you were doing too...hopefully it helps someone out before it's too late.

All my prayers and best wishes man. Stay strong and get back to training as soon as you can. When I got sick and lost almost 100lbs it messed with my head and it took me the past 5 years to get back into the gym seriously.

BN

ive always had tons of respect for you, even more now. im glad you are ok, and hope everything stays that way. god bless bro...

Best of luck to you bro keep us posted

BN Stay healthy. I wish you a full recovery. Glad you posted your experience it should help people realize that you don't need to overdo things. Health should be the most important reason why everyone is bodybuilding lol... But that is just my two cents...

Whoa Brother....I can certainly relate to this. I too have a similar story that I will share a a later date because my heart is literally pounding right now because of the similarities between your mishap and mine. As a brother of the BB community, I wish you the best and I will certainly include you in my prayers!
JD~

Sounds like peliosis hepatitis. Same as Steve Michalik suffered from. Rare but possible side of orals.

Hope it resolves and you recover without permanent effects.

best of luck to you on your recovery

i hope brooklyn bb reads this and takes it to heart!

I hope you have a full recovery BN. Thanks for posting your story.

If there's one thing I know about you, BN, it's this. If this thing didn't take you out now, it ain't gonna take you out. You're still alive, so I have no doubt you're gonna be ok. I've been doing very low doses on everthing for a long time now. I was just thinking of upping the doses to break through a platuea. Now...I think I'll just stay platuead. I really hope people will listen to your story. I wish you a full and speedy recovery, my friend.

BN,
I know we haven't agreed with a few, ok well alot of things on here, but I can say we agree on health. I know what it's like to go through trauma (stroke) and it is no picnic. All that matters is that you are OK again. A week in the hospital makes you realize alot. Either way, Simone and I are happy you are ok and on your knees (J/k) OK, feet again. Keep the head up and you will work past it. Alot of people should take this into consideration because things like what you went through isn't evident until it kicks you in the fucking face. A dance in the dark I guess. Very little symptoms, feel great days before, etc...

Hang tough big guy, glad you're doing well again.

That could be ANY of us.
I appreciate you taking the time to share with us and it deffinatley makes me take a step back and think/ re-evaluate things.
I mean those doses arent MEGA doses by no means...thats what 1500-2000mg per week total... Id say if we were to poll and everyone was honest
MANY here take or have taken that amount on a regular basis.
Fuck man Im glad your OK....who cares about the Muscle your alive
and your Family didnt have to pay to bury your Big ass!
Do what you know is right and take care of yourself, ANYTHING I can do to help email or Pm me and Ill give you my home number.

Glad

Glad you made it out alive brother. Glad you're refocusing on what's really important to you in this life with out limited time. Hope you recover quickly and that you always remember who was closest to you during your time of suffering, your Mom and your girl. Give them more love then you ever have for the rest of your life...

Glad to see you POST buddy.

BN,

Good thing you called your mother so she could call a ambulance. You are lucky to be alive to talk about this. Sounds like you have a grip on your situation and are coming back good & healthy. God bless you BN ! Keep us posted on your recovery progress.
take good care,
wedge

YOu know that story just hit home...I thank you for sharing with us...

I have had this annoying little like pinch feeling in my ULQ to LLQ, and I have been wondering...I know my liver is not over there, but there are other vital organs that are on the left side. It has not been getting worse, but still it is there and it has never been there until recently.

I am off to get BLOOD WORK DONE on my days off.

I do not have insurance, but it will be worth the $300.00 to have it done.


BN, I know we are all glad you made it through this...it is not good to lose a brother in this sport.

keep us posted on everything and if you need anything, do not hesitate to ask(people say it but never mean it, I mean it!!)

BN, I'm very glad to hear you are on the path to recovery. I wish you continued good health. Question though: Do you think the mega cycles you did when you were consulting with Ry Roid may have contributed to this?

fucking unreal,,,,we always think it will never happen to us


wish you all the best

well.. it might not be mega dosing for some.. but, too others.. it could cause problems.. orals just plain scare me.. i know many say that oral toxicity is overarted.. i dont think so.. 60-100 mgs of dbol is alot.. and over two months of it will.. as bn found out, backfire.. but, each person is different.. some will never have problems.. some will.. that is why regular blod work is a must.. no if's ands or but's.. every 6 months guys.. ect.. what is so hard about that?? we all have done it.. we are all guilty of it.. BUT, GET YOUR BLOODWORK!!.. find the problems before they find you.. keep dosages low.. if ya cant grow from low dosage, eating right, and training hard (while avoiding overtraining) than you need to get off all gear and just lift and be happy.. you have it.. or ya dont.. just a fact..
bn.. i am very happy to hear that you are better.. and this experience.. although it sucked, might be a wake up call for those who are getting carried away with dosage and not getting their check ups.. good to hear from ya.. we have all done it.. it just bit you.. luckily, it was just a little bite lol.. i know you say your done with gear... but, in the off chance you get back on at some point.. NO ORALS...

contemplated whether or not to post or just keep my thoughts to myself..But I'd feel like an ass if I didnt say that I am honestly glad that made it out alive...I gotta go get something checked out to...nothing steroid related, i have had this pain before I even started any of that..thanks, you probably saved some livers by telling your story....