Anyone have an jerk for a father-in-law?

[BigDM]

My wifes dad for lack of a better description is an asshole. Harsh words, but true from my perspective. I've always been leary of him since we 1st met. He's the type of guy who talks constantly, knows everything and gets angry if you have a different opinion than him. Its severely effecting my marriage, which has been a little rocky on its own without this added stress.

Anyone else have a similiar situation?

 

[Jello]

My father in law is an idiot that always ends up saying something stupid anytime he's around. He used to be mouthy at times like what you're describing but I snapped one day and bit his head off (usually just walked away from him) and my wife grabbed me by the arm and asked me to go outside and calm down. She told her dad that he needs to stop provoking me before something bad happened because if he started it she'd side with me every time.

Doesn't sound like you and your wife are on the same page with him, I'd talk to your wife and see if the two of you can find some common ground otherwise as crappy as it would be, you may have to avoid him as much as you can and suck it up.

 

[BigDM]

My father in law is an idiot that always ends up saying something stupid anytime he's around. He used to be mouthy at times like what you're describing but I snapped one day and bit his head off (usually just walked away from him) and my wife grabbed me by the arm and asked me to go outside and calm down. She told her dad that he needs to stop provoking me before something bad happened because if he started it she'd side with me every time.

Doesn't sound like you and your wife are on the same page with him, I'd talk to your wife and see if the two of you can find some common ground otherwise as crappy as it would be, you may have to avoid him as much as you can and suck it up.

Thanks Jello. It's kinda nice to know that I'm not the only one who has to deal with this. This guy is unbelievable at times. He's in his mid-50's, a martial arts instructor, 5'8" maybe, good build for his age and insanely outspoken. A loud talker type if you know what I mean?

We actually had a physical altercation last Thanksgiving at our house. We stayed up pretty late partying with most of the family, drinking, playing games. Anyways, the next morning I walk out of my bedroom, hungover, and he comes up behind me and grabs my sides. It startled me and I asked him to stop and he still kept doing it. I turned around, grabbed him and through him up against the inside of the door. My wife intervened and I walked away and told him I'm not some little kid he can play grab ass with. We had a few more words and he ended up leaving in a huff. I paid the price with my wife for several months after this. I thought we were done then, but we managed to work through it.

So, he came into town last night for an overnight visit. I bought some killer steaks, wife made an awesome salad, I had Corona's on hand (his favorite) and was really trying to welcome him. Things were cool for awhile and then we were sitting in the living room around 10pm and he brought up this youtube video about police brutality and the US becoming a police state. He's a conspiracy theory guy. I mentioned that I don't envy the cops in my city because of all the crazy, messed up people they have to deal with. Well, he didn't like that and started to raise his tone. I asked him if he could talk quieter because we have neighbors upstairs and down and he just got more irate. I then made the mistake of mentioning that this was "my house" and as soon as I said that he got up and looked like he wanted to fight me. He was yelling at me, calling me all kind of names. This was in front of my wife and kids and in my home! I almost called the police, but made a last second call not to. My wife seems to make excuses for him and tells me that I just need to be quiet when he's around. She loves her dad more than anything and I know that blinds her to a large degree.

We're talking of separating now, but we will see? Like I said earlier, we've been going through a rough patch for awhile now, but this may be the hair the broke the camels back. I sure as hell hope not, because I truly love my wife and kids more than anything in this world. I have some things I need to work on to (anger issues) and so that's what I'm going to be concentrating on more starting this week. I used to go every Saturday, but have slacked off lately. I have access to a great men's counselor that I've seen over the past few years.

Prayers would be greatly appreciated brothers....

 

[fastron75]

Oh yea me too . politics religion ect the guy is a whack job ,, he will not be moving to my house in his old age . good luck

 

[Sicdog]

Mine is a first class asshole. I think he is a freaking bipolar MoFo. Physically abused my motherinlaw and went through 4 wife's. He now wants us to take care of him. I said he'll no. Don't talk to him anymore. Don't want that kind of bull shit in my life.

 

[GettingBackIn]

My wife and I went through something similar. You can't help it if he's an ass hole, but what you can do is commit to stand together. He may be her daddy, but you two decided to start a new family together and this is her family now. Outside the two of you, everyone else needs to see that no matter what there's no way to come between the two of you. He'll keep acting like that as long as she allows him to. It's on her to stand in front of you and tell him to leave herself before you get pissed. Especially if she marries you knowing that you have anger issues.

That's not to say that you shouldn't keep working on those issues. But I deal with the same thing. My wife and I had those problems. Now it feels good when she's the one to jump in and say something and tell them either we're leaving or they're leaving, before I lose it.

 

[pesty4077]

Man, that got to me reading she loves her dad more then anything. WRONG!!! She is suppose to love you more then anything, including him. She is disrespecting you in your own house. Personally, I never let him step foot in my house if he act like that. My former mother-in-law was like that. I sent her and her daughter packing years ago. I would never put up with that shit. No way, should she put you through that. Time to re-evaluate things and sit her down and have a serious discussion of your marriage and if she respects it.

 

[pesty4077]

My father in law is an idiot that always ends up saying something stupid anytime he's around. He used to be mouthy at times like what you're describing but I snapped one day and bit his head off (usually just walked away from him) and my wife grabbed me by the arm and asked me to go outside and calm down. She told her dad that he needs to stop provoking me before something bad happened because if he started it she'd side with me every time.

Doesn't sound like you and your wife are on the same page with him, I'd talk to your wife and see if the two of you can find some common ground otherwise as crappy as it would be, you may have to avoid him as much as you can and suck it up.

Sounds like your wife loves and respects you.

 

[BigDM]

Well, my wife had a pretty rough childhood growing up with her mom. Her dad would take my wife and her sister for the summer's and be super dad to them. I think she has this inflated image of who he is based off of those times. But, the guy is a jerkoff to pretty much everyone else...at least that I've seen. I've seen him blow-up on his mom, yell in public and have heard other things through the grapevine. Sounds like most of his friends are sick of him, too.

It's kind of sad because the guy has pretty much lost everything recently. Call it karma or judgment, but I'm sure it's because of the choices he's made and the way he treats people in general. He owned a martial arts studio, but was lax on paying his taxes, so the IRS put a lean against him and froze all of his accounts. Right now he's involved in a "shady" growing operation growing some plants outdoors in the middle of nowhere if you catch my drift.

But because of some of my own past actions with my wife, anytime something goes bad between he and I, I am the guilty one and it's bullshit! Sometimes I also think he's jealous of me and that I have a decent job, great wife and kids, and have a pretty good life in general. All the things that he could of had if he wasn't such an asshole.

And yes, I do feel abandoned by my wife and that hurts the most. I mean seriously, the man was yelling profanities at me at the top his lungs right in front of my kids! And she thinks I'm the bad guy because I asked him to quiet down and reminded him of who's house he was in? Gimme a break....

 

[BigDM]

Since I'm venting I thought I might as well share the conversation my father-in-law was having with my wife leading up to the youtube incident.

My sister-in-law is seeing another man while she is still married to her husband. It's messed up. They live in Texas and have (2) 10 y/o twin boys. Anyways, she met some yahoo on the internet and is staying in Washington now for the summer and shacking up with him.

Anyways, my father-in-law just "loves" my wife's brother-in-law. He seems like a decent guy to me, too. So, he's telling my wife in a very serious tone that he is going to kill him! I repeat, he told my wife he plans on killing this guy. Not only that, but he said it so my 7 y/o stepson could hear it. Well, as soon as I heard that I asked him to chill on the murder talk in front of the little ones. He agreed, but I could tell it aggravated him that I said something. He got up and as he walked by me he had this angry look on his face and said I might feel different if it were my daughter. Sure I would! But I sure as hell wouldn't talk about it front of little kids. It's pathetic.

 

[rock75]

Thanks Jello. It's kinda nice to know that I'm not the only one who has to deal with this. This guy is unbelievable at times. He's in his mid-50's, a martial arts instructor, 5'8" maybe, good build for his age and insanely outspoken. A loud talker type if you know what I mean?

We actually had a physical altercation last Thanksgiving at our house. We stayed up pretty late partying with most of the family, drinking, playing games. Anyways, the next morning I walk out of my bedroom, hungover, and he comes up behind me and grabs my sides. It startled me and I asked him to stop and he still kept doing it. I turned around, grabbed him and through him up against the inside of the door. My wife intervened and I walked away and told him I'm not some little kid he can play grab ass with. We had a few more words and he ended up leaving in a huff. I paid the price with my wife for several months after this. I thought we were done then, but we managed to work through it.

So, he came into town last night for an overnight visit. I bought some killer steaks, wife made an awesome salad, I had Corona's on hand (his favorite) and was really trying to welcome him. Things were cool for awhile and then we were sitting in the living room around 10pm and he brought up this youtube video about police brutality and the US becoming a police state. He's a conspiracy theory guy. I mentioned that I don't envy the cops in my city because of all the crazy, messed up people they have to deal with. Well, he didn't like that and started to raise his tone. I asked him if he could talk quieter because we have neighbors upstairs and down and he just got more irate. I then made the mistake of mentioning that this was "my house" and as soon as I said that he got up and looked like he wanted to fight me. He was yelling at me, calling me all kind of names. This was in front of my wife and kids and in my home! I almost called the police, but made a last second call not to. My wife seems to make excuses for him and tells me that I just need to be quiet when he's around. She loves her dad more than anything and I know that blinds her to a large degree.

We're talking of separating now, but we will see? Like I said earlier, we've been going through a rough patch for awhile now, but this may be the hair the broke the camels back. I sure as hell hope not, because I truly love my wife and kids more than anything in this world. I have some things I need to work on to (anger issues) and so that's what I'm going to be concentrating on more starting this week. I used to go every Saturday, but have slacked off lately. I have access to a great men's counselor that I've seen over the past few years.

Prayers would be greatly appreciated brothers....

Prayers for you brotha!!

I can't offer too much advise as I am pretty fortunate that my father in law is a damn good guy.

 

[Jeremy24]

yes my father in law is a real piece of shit. He walked out on my mother in law when Craig, my brother in law , was 1 year old. Once the kids were grown and all great at sports he tried to be "dad" again..... when my wife and her brothers wouldnt have him back he posted on facebook "fuck you" and tagged them. I went to his house and we exchanged some words. Hes a cop and he tried to play that card with me, few months later i saw him leaving a bar wasted and he got in his car to drive so i reported him. He got pulled over , no dui, but suspended from the force. hes a dick so i was a dick back lol

 

[megwell]

He seems like an asshole
I'm surprised that you don't have more support from your wife on this front...after all she is married to you not her dad.

Me personally i'm a vindictive SOB

I would passively aggressively fuck with him

If he has a girlfriend/ or wife (especially if they live together) I would start sending him love letters........stating.......you are an amazing kisser/ with perfume on it, Send flowers to him.......... get a photoshop image of him kissing another woman........or what the hell a guy lol... send playgirl magazines to his house with his name on it

and there's something I buy all the time for people who piss me off

Liquid ASS Fart Spray

just my 2 cents.......and i can go on................................

 

[dumbphone]

my fiancée's dad was the sweetest man, and passed away last year.

now I'm left with a witch of a future MIL. she hates me because I don't come from money.