Lingering thoughts after breakup

[massnup]

Why is it when you get out of a relationship thats not working and you know that you don't need to be in it that you keep dwelling on it and thinking about it? How long will the thoughts last? I find myself doing this and I know I'm better off but the thoughts keep going through my mind about it all, it drives me nuts and I don't why! Can someone explain this?

 

[hotttsauce]

Why is it when you get out of a relationship thats not working and you know that you don't need to be in it that you keep dwelling on it and thinking about it? How long will the thoughts last? I find myself doing this and I know I'm better off but the thoughts keep going through my mind about it all, it drives me nuts and I don't why! Can someone explain this?

As in anything that comes to an end, it is a grieving process. Even though you know you do not want to be in the relationship, in part, it makes you feel like you have failed in some way.

Denial - "No way, this isn't happening"
Anger - "Well Screw you I hate you all."
Bargaining - "I will do anything to work it out"
Depression - "How can I go on without them"
Acceptance - "I am better off and life WILL be ok"

Recognizing the state you in, excepting that it IS truly better to be out of the relationship, that because it ended does not mean you failed, are the keys to getting over anything like that. Like you said, You Know your Better Off, just try not to put so much pressure on yourself to get over it too quickly, like anything, it takes time.

 

[costadawguva]

hey man, depends on how serious/long the relationship was...if it was significant to the point where it bothers you to think about that person being w/someone else(like almost obsessively can't sleep etc) you probably won't stop thinking about it until you meet someone else with potential...
But if it wasn't very serious you'll be fine and likely not have those thoughts with a few females on the side nothing serious etc
good luck bro

 

[sTaTiC]

Why is it when you get out of a relationship thats not working and you know that you don't need to be in it that you keep dwelling on it and thinking about it? How long will the thoughts last? I find myself doing this and I know I'm better off but the thoughts keep going through my mind about it all, it drives me nuts and I don't why! Can someone explain this?

Just call up your buddies and go out. Do not sit at home and sulk. Trust me, someone else will come along and you will wonder why you didnt leave her earlier.

 

[massnup]

Thats what were doin tonight! Everyone tells me just what you said about someone else coming along and then wondering why I put up with all the crap as long as I did... were hittin the club tonight again so it should be fun! It was a 10 month relationship so it shouldn't be a problem in another month or so, its been 3 weeks since the breakup. It is the hardest when i'm sittin at home with nothing to do though.

Just call up your buddies and go out. Do not sit at home and sulk. Trust me, someone else will come along and you will wonder why you didnt leave her earlier.

 

[michelin]

try and keep yourself busy both physically and mentally and be selfish, by that I mean do only things that make you happy.

After a breakup its only natural to think about things and maybe analyse a bit too much, just recognise when you're doing this, laugh to yourself and control the thoughts, don't block them completely cos they need to be processed, but know them for what they are.

Hope it all works out for you

 

[Frank-Oh]

hotttsauce, I tend to cop out at "Bargaining". Once I start to beg she can't resist.. :\

 

[hotttsauce]

hotttsauce, I tend to cop out at "Bargaining". Once I start to beg she can't resist.. :\

I hear ya. just depends on what you want to accept, what your expectations are and if it works out. Always easier being outside the box looking in when your not emotionally involved.