My wife and I had a argument today

[thebrick]

Well, earlier today, we had a huge disagreement. She feels at my age (mid 50's) that I should not "supplement" my doctor scripted HRT dosages with more test. She says I am taking unnecessary risks with my health. She said going to the gym should be about getting healthy and this isn't. She is aware of my use and past use but seems to be set on this view. Really, she never has liked it, but (somewhat) accepted it as part of me being me. She also brought up the legality of it. It doesn't help that she works at a children's hospital and sees children in bad condition all the time. As a matter of fact, one of her patients passed away today, so she was upset about that. She says I am taking my health for granted by taking these "risks". To be honest, as I have got older, my blood pressure is harder to control, and when I add to my dosages, its much more difficult and she knows that. I am crazy about my wife and she loves me the same. I don't want to endanger our relationship at all. I am sensing that if I do push it, it could get to that real fast. But damn, I feel conflicted about this. Maybe she's right? Maybe I should quite trying to train like am 30 or 40 and go with life's flow?

PS: Have you ever tried to argue with a Latin woman? Its a no win situation for the man let me tell you.

 

[pesty4077]

Well, earlier today, we had a huge disagreement. She feels at my age (mid 50's) that I should not "supplement" my doctor scripted HRT dosages with more test. She says I am taking unnecessary risks with my health. She said going to the gym should be about getting healthy and this isn't. She is aware of my use and past use but seems to be set on this view. Really, she never has liked it, but (somewhat) accepted it as part of me being me. She also brought up the legality of it. It doesn't help that she works at a children's hospital and sees children in bad condition all the time. As a matter of fact, one of her patients passed away today, so she was upset about that. She says I am taking my health for granted by taking these "risks". To be honest, as I have got older, my blood pressure is harder to control, and when I add to my dosages, its much more difficult and she knows that. I am crazy about my wife and she loves me the same. I don't want to endanger our relationship at all. I am sensing that if I do push it, it could get to that real fast. But damn, I feel conflicted about this. Maybe she's right? Maybe I should quite trying to train like am 30 or 40 and go with life's flow?

PS: Have you ever tried to argue with a Latin woman? Its a no win situation for the man let me tell you.

I LMAO at your last comment, mostly because my wife is mexican and I know that feeling. It sounds to me like you have a very caring wife, that loves you. My guess is that she wants to grow old with you by her side. Marriage is a compromise, and as smart as you are, I am sure you will figure it out.

 

[oldfella]

Well Brick, we all come to a crossroad in our lives at some point. On one hand she makes a solid case bro. She loves you and is concerned for your health. The last thing she wants is to lose her man too early. You have some valid points as to what you used to do and where you have been with all of this. But that is in the past my friend. We all want to hang on to our youth! But at what price? Time to reconcile your training, what you want out of your training and where you want to be in 10-15-20 years time with your beautiful wife. Time to evaluate all the aches and pains and maybe shift towards downsizing a bit and being very fit and healthy! Just an opinion.

 

[hotttsauce]

Sorry to hear your having some issues there Mr. Brick.

Any chance on getting her to compromise?

 

[nosmas]

Your a good man brick. Lets start with that. Second, you want to keep her happy and obviously love your wife completely and to me that is half the battle right their (you respect what you have and will die to protect it). She had a bad day. You can never win an argument in that situation as you well know and all you can do is console and comfort as best you know how. PERHAPS...and I mean perhaps...it is an issue that was brought up on a bad day and not an end all be all issue like it may have seemed at the time. Let some time pass and do something for HER. The more you do for HER the more she will let certain HRT dosages slide.
But you bring up a interesting point because here last night I told Lindsay I would use test the rest of my natural life...but if she didnt like me doing it I would surly have to reconsider as you are.
IDK...we need OUCH!!!

 

[thebrick]

Thanks guys. I am happy you responded because I respect all your opinions very much.

Pesty, yeah, she is from Mexico City originally, so you know exactly what I am talking about. I thought I was pretty good at a debate until she came along

OF, I think you are spot on. In some ways I do feel at a crossroads here. I sorta worry about my personality type though... I tend to be "all or nothing" and I guess I am wondering if I will be happy with "just" staying in shape. Maybe I do need to rethink my priorities. I sure hate admitting that though. It sorta puts a big light on me and what I want for the next 10-20 years. This entire sport is geared (at least on the surface) to youth, and fighting the aging process and looking good. And when you have to admit that only goes so far, ouch! Its funny, because just yesterday in the gym I saw a man I have not seen in quite some time since we are on different schedules. He is 67 and he looks great! I am all the while thinking… I hope I can do that!

Hottt, I am not sure about a compromise. She can be very head strong. I am not sure how much of that is being a woman or being a Mexican woman… double whammy for me… Pesty?

Nosmas, you are right, I don't want to endanger our relationship at all. I feel really lucky she is in my life. She's pretty, she's fun and we have the same outlook about life. She doesn't have a problem with my HRT from the doc at all. She is fully supportive about that. She does have a problem with anything more than that. You are correct, it was a bad day for her which I found out after all this hit the fan.

 

[pesty4077]

Brick, what happens when you put a German and Mexican together? Sometimes it isn't pretty! You won't ever get the last word in, I know that is true with my wife. Compromise? They way I explain my use, is that I would never do something, that would hurt my health, or hurt my family. Just like all woman want to be assured of your love, you need to assure them of this. Sometimes, you might have to say it over and over, be sensitive.

 

[EVERLAST]

time.........

As I get older and feel all these aches and pains and nagging injuries from heavy training in the past....I notice that if my lifts arent going up, or my size isnt increasing I feel down.
Now when I was a youngster this was a good, working philosophy.
Now I am considering a new view.
Maybe maintaining what size I have and trying to get leaner.
I am using as little as possible, maybe 200-250/week.
Lifting smarter not heavier.
Maybe even do more...(shudder)....cardio on a year round basis now.

Luckily, in Sassy, I have a solid supporter who is very knowledable. With your wife in the health care field she sees alot of sad situations and perhaps not the best info.
I am really suprized by the lack of basic knowledge on this subject by most MDs and nurses.
I'm 46 now and I think that it doesnt matter what I bench squat or deadlift.maybe doesnt matter if my arms are 17 1/2", or 17 3/4"

What matters most is the peace and tranquility of the home... and your mind.

My new theory???
Do what you have to to find that balance, and then embrace it.

 

[hotttsauce]

Thanks guys. I am happy you responded because I respect all your opinions very much.

Pesty, yeah, she is from Mexico City originally, so you know exactly what I am talking about. I thought I was pretty good at a debate until she came along

OF, I think you are spot on. In some ways I do feel at a crossroads here. I sorta worry about my personality type though... I tend to be "all or nothing" and I guess I am wondering if I will be happy with "just" staying in shape. Maybe I do need to rethink my priorities. I sure hate admitting that though. It sorta puts a big light on me and what I want for the next 10-20 years. This entire sport is geared (at least on the surface) to youth, and fighting the aging process and looking good. And when you have to admit that only goes so far, ouch! Its funny, because just yesterday in the gym I saw a man I have not seen in quite some time since we are on different schedules. He is 67 and he looks great! I am all the while thinking… I hope I can do that!

Hottt, I am not sure about a compromise. She can be very head strong. I am not sure how much of that is being a woman or being a Mexican woman… double whammy for me… Pesty?

Nosmas, you are right, I don't want to endanger our relationship at all. I feel really lucky she is in my life. She's pretty, she's fun and we have the same outlook about life. She doesn't have a problem with my HRT from the doc at all. She is fully supportive about that. She does have a problem with anything more than that. You are correct, it was a bad day for her which I found out after all this hit the fan.

Uh Yea, that aint gonna happen Been there my friend! I hope it all works out!

 

[j8282]

Have you ever tried just using the HRT dosage? If you havent then I would tell her that you will try it for awhile then get your health check to see if the added "supplements" are really affecting it all that much. If it doesnt then maybe something on paper would persuade her to let you keep going.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Just curious, are you looking for bigness or fitness? Obviously bigness isn't healthy - at least bigness beyond what your internal organs are genetically geared to handle. Pushed long enough enough those organs will start to give you problems. If you want to live long with feelings of youth and vitality, then being huge is going to be difficult. Very difficult. But there's a difference between being huge and being pleasantly big! I think there is plenty of respectable middle ground there.

Generally people have something they need to put themselves into. Training is a biggie for anyone on this board. Maybe you need to find a way to continue putting yourself into this but without quite as much size and bulk? Caution here though, if you artificially and forcefully pull yourself out of something that you adore and leave a hole in your life, you generally fill that hole with something else. More often than not, it's something very unhealthy like eating, or smoking, or even just too much television (whatever).

Point is, is that her feelings about the drugs are justified because she loves you and you've told her about your usage. Now that she knows, you shouldn't hide it from her because you'll inevitably find yourself lying to her. And it's perfectly within her right to desire you to be healthy. Even if by way of bitchiness. (you see what I just did there? lol)

Anyway, so all of that considered by you has to leave you with just a few inescapable questions right? Are you going to stop overdosing for the both of your sakes? And if you do, what will you do from then on? That's pretty much it.

Everything else is just conversation right? Her opinion isn't going to change and at this point, would you really want it to? She loves you and wants as many years as possible with you. Many people pray for your kind of problems.

I guess I didn't blow any sunshine up your ass, huh? Truth is, your life is going to change no matter what anyway. In what direction do you want to change it? Do you make the change now when you have a choice or later when you don't? I'll be making some decisions myself in a few short years. Even more a few years after that. See what I'm getting at my man?

 

[oldfella]

Thanks guys. I am happy you responded because I respect all your opinions very much.

Pesty, yeah, she is from Mexico City originally, so you know exactly what I am talking about. I thought I was pretty good at a debate until she came along

OF, I think you are spot on. In some ways I do feel at a crossroads here. I sorta worry about my personality type though... I tend to be "all or nothing" and I guess I am wondering if I will be happy with "just" staying in shape. Maybe I do need to rethink my priorities. I sure hate admitting that though. It sorta puts a big light on me and what I want for the next 10-20 years. This entire sport is geared (at least on the surface) to youth, and fighting the aging process and looking good. And when you have to admit that only goes so far, ouch! Its funny, because just yesterday in the gym I saw a man I have not seen in quite some time since we are on different schedules. He is 67 and he looks great! I am all the while thinking… I hope I can do that!

Hottt, I am not sure about a compromise. She can be very head strong. I am not sure how much of that is being a woman or being a Mexican woman… double whammy for me… Pesty?

Nosmas, you are right, I don't want to endanger our relationship at all. I feel really lucky she is in my life. She's pretty, she's fun and we have the same outlook about life. She doesn't have a problem with my HRT from the doc at all. She is fully supportive about that. She does have a problem with anything more than that. You are correct, it was a bad day for her which I found out after all this hit the fan.

While we are on the subject, I too am getting to the point where I am starting to question the sanity of trying to stay big, not that I ever got there, but the quest for size! All the aches and pains from heavy training, all the little voices in our minds saying heavier, bigger you must, you must. I have resigned myself to the fact that I am going to have one more shot at the stage. National masters here. Where I finish I finish. It will be then I will hang up the trunks and go for total quality of life and fuck trying to get/stay big. I will retain as much strength I can pain free and on HRT only. Above that, I have had my day/s. Enough is enough. You my friend are blessed to have a top woman by your side that loves you dearly and wants to spend some serious quality years with you. I think it is time to sit back, re-evaluate what is important in life and let go of the days gone by. They are gone, we lived them once and they become memories. Time to consider the future. We are the old school Brick! We have the fire that always burns, the drive that always pushes us, but that drive can work against us also. THE LAST HOORAH? No, just a new beginning!!

 

[nosmas]

Just curious, are you looking for bigness or fitness? Obviously bigness isn't healthy - at least bigness beyond what your internal organs are genetically geared to handle. Pushed long enough enough those organs will start to give you problems. If you want to live long with feelings of youth and vitality, then being huge is going to be difficult. Very difficult. But there's a difference between being huge and being pleasantly big! I think there is plenty of respectable middle ground there.

Generally people have something they need to put themselves into. Training is a biggie for anyone on this board. Maybe you need to find a way to continue putting yourself into this but without quite as much size and bulk? Caution here though, if you artificially and forcefully pull yourself out of something that you adore and leave a hole in your life, you generally fill that hole with something else. More often than not, it's something very unhealthy like eating, or smoking, or even just too much television (whatever).

Point is, is that her feelings about the drugs are justified because she loves you and you've told her about your usage. Now that she knows, you shouldn't hide it from her because you'll inevitably find yourself lying to her. And it's perfectly within her right to desire you to be healthy. Even if by way of bitchiness. (you see what I just did there? lol)

Anyway, so all of that considered by you has to leave you with just a few inescapable questions right? Are you going to stop overdosing for the both of your sakes? And if you do, what will you do from then on? That's pretty much it.

Everything else is just conversation right? Her opinion isn't going to change and at this point, would you really want it to? She loves you and wants as many years as possible with you. Many people pray for your kind of problems.

I guess I didn't blow any sunshine up your ass, huh? Truth is, your life is going to change no matter what anyway. In what direction do you want to change it? Do you make the change now when you have a choice or later when you don't? I'll be making some decisions myself in a few short years. Even more a few years after that. See what I'm getting at my man?

Great post!

 

[Designbuilt]

The most important thing is your health and the people who love you. If she had no merits to her worries that's one thing, but all of us age and we have to know when to cut back a little.

After all who are you doing this for, I know for yourself, but think about those close to you as well. I doubt that she's just trying to nag for no reason, she accepts what you do but is rightfully and genuinely concerned and that's not such a bad thing.


Good luck.

 

[morepain]

i also feel as we get older the large doses have more and more of a negative effect. I am struggling with the same thing. For quite some time i ahve been on only my hrt dose and physically i don't appear much different, quite a bit leaner , slightly smaller, strength has went down. But i ask myself, how long am i seriously going to keep pursuing procurement of these drugs, and all teh crap that goes along with it. I think if your doctor is willing to keep you at the higher end of normal ranges in the end you will be better off.

 

[thebrick]

Thank you all for your advice, I appreciate it. Each one of you has made some very valid points. And I value your views because I think you are mature enough to see "life's whole picture" with some perspective.

OF, man oh man, I can identify! while getting big is great and can be just plain fun, not to mention a big ego bump, its like Ouch said, maintaining that AND staying healthy gets harder the further down the road I go. One's quality of life comes more in focus rather than getting big as an end all. Looking great and being huge… two different things health wise.

Morepain, I am feeling exactly like you are too. On or off, I really don't look THAT much different than just being on HRT anymore. But there is a LOT more in the overall picture with "on" if you know what I mean.

 

[mikeheavypecs]

Mr Brick,
I don't know if it will help your case but it sure has mine. We're in the same boat. I'm 55. I've been gaining mass at a fairly good rate & keeping my bf the same. I'm 274 today at 8%. I went to a very well known Orthopedic Surgeon here in Houston yesterday about a degerative disc that is quite a problem for me. First he walked in and looked at me and asked if I "take an muscle enhancers". I told him please keep off the record but I am taking TEST and GH. He said "well you are mid to late 40's right" and looked in his records and was amazed at my age for my appearance. SO, the point I want to make is that he said that he feels that my spine and disc deterioration is much much less since I have been taking Test and GH than otherwise, and that he recommends that I keep taking the high dosages (not really high, 600-800 mg Test E/week and 4iu GH/day) hence forth to try to keep my joints and discs from any furhter deterioration (which we all have some as we get older). He said, of course, his advice is off the record cause he doesn't want his license pulled. However, he said he has been involved alot with pro football and other teams to believe in the "power" of TEST and GH combo. So, I went home and now because of his advice, there is no longer any fight or problems. The Ortho also says he feels that combo will help regenerate and protect kidney/ liver cells and increase collegan to help my old joints!

Hope this helps! I was just sitting in shock in his office as he said this to me! I thought he would say the opposite!
Mike

 

[mikeheavypecs]

While we are on the subject, I too am getting to the point where I am starting to question the sanity of trying to stay big, not that I ever got there, but the quest for size! All the aches and pains from heavy training, all the little voices in our minds saying heavier, bigger you must, you must. I have resigned myself to the fact that I am going to have one more shot at the stage. National masters here. Where I finish I finish. It will be then I will hang up the trunks and go for total quality of life and fuck trying to get/stay big. I will retain as much strength I can pain free and on HRT only. Above that, I have had my day/s. Enough is enough. You my friend are blessed to have a top woman by your side that loves you dearly and wants to spend some serious quality years with you. I think it is time to sit back, re-evaluate what is important in life and let go of the days gone by. They are gone, we lived them once and they become memories. Time to consider the future. We are the old school Brick! We have the fire that always burns, the drive that always pushes us, but that drive can work against us also. THE LAST HOORAH? No, just a new beginning!!

hey bro,
" I have resigned myself to the fact that I am going to have one more shot at the stage. National masters here. Where I finish I finish." Me too man, I am not going to continue at this pace of getting huge and completing except for 2 more years probably and National Masters next year, but I want to give it all I have for that time! I DO call it my LAST HOORAH. Yesterday at the orthopedic surgeons I also found out that I have to have spinal fusion within (his guess) 4 to 5 years (been very depressed since but i can face reality). That will stop everything for me as far as sports ! So NO question, this is my last hoorah........I'll just sit around in a rocker and spend quality time in my 60's when I don't have any choice.

MIke

 

[oldfella]

hey bro,
" I have resigned myself to the fact that I am going to have one more shot at the stage. National masters here. Where I finish I finish." Me too man, I am not going to continue at this pace of getting huge and completing except for 2 more years probably and National Masters next year, but I want to give it all I have for that time! I DO call it my LAST HOORAH. Yesterday at the orthopedic surgeons I also found out that I have to have spinal fusion within (his guess) 4 to 5 years (been very depressed since but i can face reality). That will stop everything for me as far as sports ! So NO question, this is my last hoorah........I'll just sit around in a rocker and spend quality time in my 60's when I don't have any choice.

MIke

Well, Shit man, I quess we got us some work to do then!! HAHAHAHAHA
Just save some space next to0 that rocker, I'll bring mine around and we can sit, have a cold beer and rock our memories to sleep! LOL

 

[JETHRO TULL]

Mikeheavypecs, thanks for that post!

Mr Brick,
I don't know if it will help your case but it sure has mine. We're in the same boat. I'm 55. I've been gaining mass at a fairly good rate & keeping my bf the same. I'm 274 today at 8%. I went to a very well known Orthopedic Surgeon here in Houston yesterday about a degerative disc that is quite a problem for me. First he walked in and looked at me and asked if I "take an muscle enhancers". I told him please keep off the record but I am taking TEST and GH. He said "well you are mid to late 40's right" and looked in his records and was amazed at my age for my appearance. SO, the point I want to make is that he said that he feels that my spine and disc deterioration is much much less since I have been taking Test and GH than otherwise, and that he recommends that I keep taking the high dosages (not really high, 600-800 mg Test E/week and 4iu GH/day) hence forth to try to keep my joints and discs from any furhter deterioration (which we all have some as we get older). He said, of course, his advice is off the record cause he doesn't want his license pulled. However, he said he has been involved alot with pro football and other teams to believe in the "power" of TEST and GH combo. So, I went home and now because of his advice, there is no longer any fight or problems. The Ortho also says he feels that combo will help regenerate and protect kidney/ liver cells and increase collegan to help my old joints!

Hope this helps! I was just sitting in shock in his office as he said this to me! I thought he would say the opposite!
Mike

Good to hear you have a doc with a brain. I don't think there are any here in Montana. Last time I went in to try to get a script I was of course natural- as I always am!

Anyway- figured my own levels would be low at 40 but nope- was like 940 on a scale of 200 ng/ml to 800ng/ml.

So, I guess I'll flail aound in limbo for a few more years!