In a bit of a bind

[Smooth_Silk]

Ok now i been with my girl for about 4 years now. before my current girl i was dating a girl for around the same amount of time. During that time we were dating, my father died suddenly. She was the one the comforted me through that very difficult time. After his death, me and her got into some bad things together, her family found out, and shipped her off to live with relatives. So we were torn apart, forced to move on. Ever since i been with the girl i am with now, i try not to talk to the 1st girl because there is still such an unspoken yet heavy feeling for her. The other day i get an email. From her. and i sank instantly back for her. I try so hard not to talk to her but she finds ways to get back into my head. So the problem is, i been with the girl i am with now and i love her so much that i bought a ring and am proposing to her on her birthday in January. But how do i marry someone when i got these feelings for the other girl? Ever since she sent me that email and we been talking a little i am not the same in my relationship. which is highly unfair to the one that truly loves me. I think the first girl is simply playing games with my head to make sure shes still in there. and it works well. So how do i get over the girl that held me the night that i lost my bestfriend? Has anyone dealt with some a complication? i cant go on my life having this girl mess with my emotions. especially when i found someone who i can be with forever. I need some help yall. Im going crazy this past week. It aint the same when you got another girl on your mind that should not be there.....

thanks
smooth

 

[pesty4077]

Ok now i been with my girl for about 4 years now. before my current girl i was dating a girl for around the same amount of time. During that time we were dating, my father died suddenly. She was the one the comforted me through that very difficult time. After his death, me and her got into some bad things together, her family found out, and shipped her off to live with relatives. So we were torn apart, forced to move on. Ever since i been with the girl i am with now, i try not to talk to the 1st girl because there is still such an unspoken yet heavy feeling for her. The other day i get an email. From her. and i sank instantly back for her. I try so hard not to talk to her but she finds ways to get back into my head. So the problem is, i been with the girl i am with now and i love her so much that i bought a ring and am proposing to her on her birthday in January. But how do i marry someone when i got these feelings for the other girl? Ever since she sent me that email and we been talking a little i am not the same in my relationship. which is highly unfair to the one that truly loves me. I think the first girl is simply playing games with my head to make sure shes still in there. and it works well. So how do i get over the girl that held me the night that i lost my bestfriend? Has anyone dealt with some a complication? i cant go on my life having this girl mess with my emotions. especially when i found someone who i can be with forever. I need some help yall. Im going crazy this past week. It aint the same when you got another girl on your mind that should not be there.....

thanks
smooth

Smooth,

Marriage is a total commitment, to death do you part. That being said, if you are having second thoughts, you are not 100% ready to marry. I would hold off the marriage, until you are. If you don't want someone to mess with your emotions, I am sure you can cut them off completely. If you are going to marry that girl, you better love her with all your heart, through good and bad. Take time to sort your emotions out, wishing you the best.

 

[Smooth_Silk]

Pesty thanks for words of wisdom. Our engagement plans to be 5 or so years until im out of chiropractic school...so we have time to work up to that. I need to cut that other one off. but its very hard. Time?? I dont know. thanks tho