POWER OUTAGE

[Sassy]

POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM

I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science." Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm…... Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?"

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!

"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda headed for the door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back." Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared.

And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."

"You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no Attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry!" The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch.... "Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps....

[lynx]

Are you serious?! I'd be so furious. How unprofessional.
Mammograms are so uncomfortable and to have THAT happen...
Did you rip her one? Have you told the hospital administration?

[phoenix13]

LMFAO!!! Oh Sassy!

[amb7470]

OMG, that's hysterical - although I'm sure it wasn't at the time!! Bubba and Earl??!! (still chuckling) Hopefully, you'll be able to look back and laugh!

[marilyn]

Hey Sassy, I know this was not funny then..........but I laughed my ass off, your now version of course.....this was entertaining, although you may not have meant it to be....I love the way you put the story together, I could see it happening.

[EVERLAST]

Man...
I have been doing gentle warmed oil massage,
then hot towels and baby kisses...

cooking her meals and cutting up her chicken..
bringing her a fresh glass of wine while dancing with the stars is on...
..rubbing her feet....



and then she tells she read that story in an email.

[phoenix13]

Originally Posted by EVERLAST

and then she tells she read that story in an email.

Just as I suspected!!!!!!! Sassy, you didn't fool me!

[Sassy]

HAHAHAHA!!! Ya'll crack me up! My aunt sent that too me. It was just before my apt. for a mammogram. All I could think of while I was in the little waiting room was great

Bwt, I passed with flying colors.