when is the right time?

[SpudToStud]

Hey, im in my early 20s in the US army and have a girlfriend and things are starting to get serious. She is awesome. She lives out in Cali while im on post at Louisian. Im wondering if anyone had any situations where they made life changing decisions, as in a far move to be with a girl and how it worked.

The distance is killing me, i have to spend over $300 to see her (well worth it) but i only get the chance every few months due to my training. I have an opertunity to reelist for Fort Irwin Cali, about 3 hours from her. Im cant make up my mind. and whan i ask for her imput she simply says "Babe, do whats best for you" Now, im not really all into the army.. actually i dislike it to a large extent. cant wait to get out and go to school. But if i stay here in Lousiana i will be deploying again before i get out over just another year (if i re-up) and i will be undeployable.

I dont really know how much anyone will be able to help me here becuase it is all down to me and i dont know, i just had to gte it out and see what other people would do in my situation.

I think this girl might be the one.

Thanks

 

[cpesloco]

you're in your early 20's enough said. Take advantage of the military for school and travel. You will have plenty of more woman in your life.

 

[gordo14]

She's just not that into you.....

Sounds like a book someone wrote huh?
I would say take advantage of your youth and don't do anything drastic. If you asked her, and all she said was do whats best for you, it sounds like she's not really thinking longterm. Now if she said "lets sit down and decide what would be best for us, and OUR future" then i might consider it, if i thought she was the one.
You are still young, and there will be plenty more opportunity for you in the future woman wise.

 

[SpudToStud]

true, good points to consider. I dont know i just feel compelled, thanks for giving me a more even plain to look at

 

[thebrick]

Bro, as your friend, let me just say… and I feel qualified to say this since I am easily old enough to be your father… when I was in my early 20's I thought I was grown up and knew what I wanted in woman as a life partner. Looking back on it 30 years later, I understand now I was not as smart and mature as I thought I was. So if you make the move, do it because its right for YOU, at this point in your life, not because this is your once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for "the one".

 

[goonstopher]

Bro, as your friend, let me just say… and I feel qualified to say this since I am easily old enough to be your father… when I was in my early 20's I thought I was grown up and knew what I wanted in woman as a life partner. Looking back on it 30 years later, I understand now I was not as smart and mature as I thought I was. So if you make the move, do it because its right for YOU, at this point in your life, not because this is your once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for "the one".

Wow... this isn't my thread but it makes sense. I am scared to throw away a girl I have no intellectual or sexual connection with because on paper she should be "the one."

Brick, can you look at my thread below? (so I don't hijack)

 

[SpudToStud]

good point Brick. Thanks man, i guess whne you finally hit that point in your life you then relise how stupid you were or could have been in eariler years. Thanks bro

 

[slimyy]

I agree with the Brick

Before I ever realized I made a mistake picking the right one I had two children. Just Finalized the divorce at the end of may. Dont even think about settling down for many years.

 

[bigduff]

dude women are insane and you need to have some damn fun and enjoy yourself while your young. woohoo!

 

[EasyEJL]

Though I agree in general with a lot of what people are saying, there is also a lot to be said for marrying early and getting kids out of the way (and out of the house). if you get married in the next couple years and have 2 kids by the time you are 30, they'll be out of the house before you are 50. if you dont start till your mid 30s, you'll have college funds competing with retirement funds and be older before you have an empty nest.

 

[scott j]

it is refreshing for a "younger" man to actually ask for help or ask for an opinion. Usually you only get opinions. whats the longest you have spent with her on these trips? if you get together for an amount of time, say 2 weeks. You will learn so much more about the person than you ever thought you would learn. The longer you are close together, you will get a very good idea of what you should do. I regret much that i did at your age. 4 tattoos, thought i knew everything, and looking back now, i knew shit. My best friend been divorced twice. was single for one month and met a girl. week later he told me and our other buddy this was the one. we told him he was nuts. he got married a month later, paid all her debt off, said she doesnt know if she has ever had an orgasm before. now a year later, he hates her lazy ass. the only way you learn is to build from what you learn from your mistakes and others. good ludk