Does anyone else think this is strange?

[HeavyHitter2]

Ok, so I told my wife of 10 years that I have feelings for another woman I work with, oddly enough her reaction shocked me, I mean, she said she kind of knew because I've been distant. but she was ... understanding that I could have feelings for someone else. don't get me wrong she was hurt but still very understanding AND willing to help me through my confusion as to who I wanted to be with. is this normal? or is there something i'm missing?

 

[EVERLAST]

well...

right off the top of my head I'd say she loves you.
Unconditionally....I'd say she wants you to be happy,
...even if it's not with her.

If you truly loved someone that's what you do when you come to the breakup when they find some shiny new thing...
You pray for their happiness, and hope that they find the love of their life...
even if it's not you...and you let them go.

Our disposable culture of instant satisfaction does not value or understand this concept. It is now foreign to us. Is your wife from overseas?

Most women are looking out for #1. They find out you have feelings for somebody and it is ON. Lawyers and alimony and housing allowances.
This is a strange thing indeed in these times...you may have a rare and precious thing that you are about to throw away.

or I could be totally wrong.

 

[whiteknucks]

you may want to think it over man. that woman loves you more than you know!
probably more than anyone else in this world is gonna love you. especially more than a flinger.

flings always start off PERFECT. with time comes the true colors though. think about all the time you have invested with your wife. you havent been together for ten years for the hell of it.

good luck man, ive been there

 

[Monossi]

right off the top of my head I'd say she loves you.
Unconditionally....I'd say she wants you to be happy,
...even if it's not with her.

If you truly loved someone that's what you do when you come to the breakup when they find some shiny new thing...
You pray for their happiness, and hope that they find the love of their life...
even if it's not you...and you let them go.

Our disposable culture of instant satisfaction does not value or understand this concept. It is now foreign to us. Is your wife from overseas?

Most women are looking out for #1. They find out you have feelings for somebody and it is ON. Lawyers and alimony and housing allowances.
This is a strange thing indeed in these times...you may have a rare and precious thing that you are about to throw away.

or I could be totally wrong.

I agree with everything said here ........ but keep in mind this reaction may be genuine OR
1) She may be "playing the part" of the patient & understanding wife while doing exactly what EVERLAST said in his last paragraph swiftly & quietly. OR
2) She may be secretly relieved that you are thinking along the same lines & is ready for a change also.
I had a female co-worker a while back that was on the other end of this situation. She consulted an attorney that told her to LET husband bring it up first & push the issue ,that way it was his idea. What really surprised me was her attorney told her to console & support her husband & make the relationship "appear as it will work out" & push him (without being obvious)
to get fixed. This attorney told her to try & get this done so when she makes her move for a divorce , there will no more kids for him ..........

Good luck with your situation. Sounds like you have a good woman.

From experience watching close friends that have gone through this exact situation just keep in mind that "The grass ain't always greener on the other side."

 

[HeavyHitter2]

Our disposable culture of instant satisfaction does not value or understand this concept. It is now foreign to us. Is your wife from overseas?


well, she is Portuguese and korean, but a very independent woman. she said she loves me enough to let em go if I'm not happy. problem is I don't know what I want...

the other problem is (if you want to call it a problem) is that the other girl really loves me also, very, very much.. and just wants to make me happy and be happy with me, christ she told me she wants to have my babies!

 

[EVERLAST]

time....

time alone can show you the answer...go slow.
Alone time is when you can objectively view the whole of it.
You need to be sure whenever peoples' hearts are on the line...
yours and theirs.

be careful...good luck!

 

[MissyM]

Ok, so I told my wife of 10 years that I have feelings for another woman I work with, oddly enough her reaction shocked me, I mean, she said she kind of knew because I've been distant. but she was ... understanding that I could have feelings for someone else. don't get me wrong she was hurt but still very understanding AND willing to help me through my confusion as to who I wanted to be with. is this normal? or is there something i'm missing?

Sounds like a good woman.