- Joined
- Apr 9, 2012
- Messages
- 3,269
Alright, I've been wanting to write about this for awhile but been busy but to tell you guys the truth I don't even know how to start it but I guess I'll just dive in.
It all started last year when I moved to a new town. The problem wasn't the city or the people but it was everything that was going wrong. Everything that in the past had happened to me due to people being raciest and close minded that had caused me to run into a lot more issues in the future. Back in high school rather my teacher(some not all...and by some I mean 90%) treading me as another student they treated me like some lazy asshole foreigner that just "couldn't" speak any English(which is weird because i can speak it 20x better than I can write). But due to the many, many, many, MANY meetings my parents had with the school, for years, they finally decided to drop the whole ESL bullshit and to test me for learning disabilities. Well come to find out that $600 test proved that I was dyslexic and ADHD.
Anyways, in high school they just gave me extra time on the tests and that was it. When I switched universities and started going to harder and harder classes I felt more and more retarded. All the shit that I should of learned in high school that would of helped me in these classes I had to go teach myself just so I could start studying for the actual class. It was bad! Embarrassing. I had to teach myself how to focus and actually study. Nobody tried to help me how a dyslexic student should approach things.
Well anyways lets skip a little forward to when I had to go to my doctor to get on my ADHD medication. Now lets keep in mind I already was down, felt insanely bad, everything in my life was going to wrong direction, my workout and my diet were down the toilet, and a good amount of raciest hatting kids from my high school went to this university and they just wanted me to fail and would even tell me that. So I started taking Adderall so I could pay 40% more attention. It helps me but not the way people have made it sound like. It's not like fucking tunnel vision for me. I actually can pay better attention in my mother language rather than in English. So I started taking my meds and OMFG! It made me focus alright, focus on all the shit that was going wrong and it was adding to all the problems but I had tried bunch of meds and this was the one with the least problems. So it's either deal with depression or not be able to study 6-8hours of a day. Depression it was. This went on for an entire year.
Well this year I started doing something different (and it's been recently). I started taking 250mcg twice a day(I started lower but I have worked up to 250). And I don't get panic attacks anymore, I don't get nervous and fell like a failure, I really don't want to kill myself, I don't even feel bad. I'm "normal". Never been normal, but I am. It's weird...being normal feels weird, but in a good way. The nootropics have helped me clear my mind also and be able to focus be in a more calming way. The selank is making me enjoy my life. Kind of like it
TL;DR: Was down and depressed for many reasons, started to take ADHD medications to help me be able to study more(been tested for it...and I mean the real test and not that BS thing the doctor hands you to fill out). Made me more depressed and increased my anxiety attacks. Started taking selank and I don't have any more attacks or depression. I'm happy and clam but still studying a lot and taking my meds.
It all started last year when I moved to a new town. The problem wasn't the city or the people but it was everything that was going wrong. Everything that in the past had happened to me due to people being raciest and close minded that had caused me to run into a lot more issues in the future. Back in high school rather my teacher(some not all...and by some I mean 90%) treading me as another student they treated me like some lazy asshole foreigner that just "couldn't" speak any English(which is weird because i can speak it 20x better than I can write). But due to the many, many, many, MANY meetings my parents had with the school, for years, they finally decided to drop the whole ESL bullshit and to test me for learning disabilities. Well come to find out that $600 test proved that I was dyslexic and ADHD.
Anyways, in high school they just gave me extra time on the tests and that was it. When I switched universities and started going to harder and harder classes I felt more and more retarded. All the shit that I should of learned in high school that would of helped me in these classes I had to go teach myself just so I could start studying for the actual class. It was bad! Embarrassing. I had to teach myself how to focus and actually study. Nobody tried to help me how a dyslexic student should approach things.
Well anyways lets skip a little forward to when I had to go to my doctor to get on my ADHD medication. Now lets keep in mind I already was down, felt insanely bad, everything in my life was going to wrong direction, my workout and my diet were down the toilet, and a good amount of raciest hatting kids from my high school went to this university and they just wanted me to fail and would even tell me that. So I started taking Adderall so I could pay 40% more attention. It helps me but not the way people have made it sound like. It's not like fucking tunnel vision for me. I actually can pay better attention in my mother language rather than in English. So I started taking my meds and OMFG! It made me focus alright, focus on all the shit that was going wrong and it was adding to all the problems but I had tried bunch of meds and this was the one with the least problems. So it's either deal with depression or not be able to study 6-8hours of a day. Depression it was. This went on for an entire year.
Well this year I started doing something different (and it's been recently). I started taking 250mcg twice a day(I started lower but I have worked up to 250). And I don't get panic attacks anymore, I don't get nervous and fell like a failure, I really don't want to kill myself, I don't even feel bad. I'm "normal". Never been normal, but I am. It's weird...being normal feels weird, but in a good way. The nootropics have helped me clear my mind also and be able to focus be in a more calming way. The selank is making me enjoy my life. Kind of like it
TL;DR: Was down and depressed for many reasons, started to take ADHD medications to help me be able to study more(been tested for it...and I mean the real test and not that BS thing the doctor hands you to fill out). Made me more depressed and increased my anxiety attacks. Started taking selank and I don't have any more attacks or depression. I'm happy and clam but still studying a lot and taking my meds.