i am very sorry to hear that you had a rough year.
a fair share of us have had horrible years and can sympathize with you.
my suggestions are:
1) lose a lot of weight ASAP
2) make sure you are taking medications and supplements as necessary to control your BP. if you haven't already, i would be taking Omega3/CoQ10/bioavailable curcumin(make sure it has bioperine).
3) keep sodium levels very very low, the mg's add up FAST
4) increase calcium,potassium,and magnesium levels through food or supplementation if necessary
5) start doing cardio everyday. even if it's for 15-20 minutes, just do it. it will make a tremendous difference for you and your current health status
6) get back into weight training if you can. 3 days a week full body would suffice. 1- 1.5 hour workouts at the maximum
all of these things impact your BP faaaaaaaaaaaar more than increasing/decrease TRT dosage. i am on prescribed TRT and my blood pressure is 105/70's with 45 BPM. i know others on TRT that are in the 90's (systolic)
your primary concern should be #1-6.
please do not take this as MD advice, but i don't think increasing your TRT dose would cause an adverse effect. let me explain why...
if you are 'unmotivated' @ 125test/week, then you are depriving yourself of the ability to carry out #1-6. if you are motivated @ 250test/week and you can truly carry out #1-6, then your BP will drop. before you know it, you could be in the 140's and then the 120's and then <120's.
your doctor isn't looking at it like that. she's looking at "the temporary" and "the now". if we look at it that way, then yes: increasing TRT would be detrimental. however, in even 2 weeks from now, it would actually be beneficial because of the psychological impact it has on you. the psychological impact will aid you in carrying out the things I listed above.
up the dose
start the diet
start the cardio
start the training
you don't got much time before this could all really bite you in the ****
uncontrolled BP will kill you. it's not a question of "IF"...it's "WHEN".
you're telling me you were up to 190's. the reality is your heart and kidneys are going to give out real quick. i don't want to see you being another statistics. get on it m8
PS: what bp meds are you on? please list them out for me. thanks.