Wow. SO sorry to hear about this. People do some very bad stuff to each other out of Ego and selfishness. That's a woman right there who can't be fixed.
You just need to decide what you need now. If you need to mourn this loss, do it. If you need to use it to move forward, then do that. Both are very valid choices.
If the competition is what you need most, then compartmentalize. Separate each thing from the other. My thought is "This (whatever it is) is what I'm doing now". Then do it, immerse yourself in it for the time you need to. Let yourself be sad when it's time to be that way.
Any case, do what you need most and do it all the way.
I agree with the above post... I finally had to say forget it and give someone else a chance.. Met the girl I am with now backstage at the muscle mayhem in KS last May... Wasn't even sure if i was going to go I had a super heavy weight in the show that won his class but was still down in the dumps over a relationship that ended 1.5 years before that...
Best decision I ever made honestly couldn't be happier.
I went thru a divorce also. I felt like a massive let down to my girls. I almost stop training and but told myself to keep it up since its what I love. She may take affend to this but I found god for the first time and love it. I feel so much easier and happier. Maybe pray to him by yourself it will make life easier. It wasn't meant to be for a reason. Some things in life we never will know but it happens for a reason. At the end you will be a better person and stronger.
Sorry for your hard times and don't let it beat you.
I would probably get off your gear as it will probely affect your moods some.
Jjb1 beat me to it but find a way to channel the anger and negative emotions into your training. Anger can be a huge motivator in the gym and the gym imo can bring the anger under control
I hope you move on and can find happiness. Situations like this always seem heart breaking at the time, but in time you will realize it was for the best and allowed you to find your real boo.
Get shredded as fuck - use the breakup as motivation for your bodybuilding show.
Walk into a skanky club 2-3 days after the show - Tank top, shades, jeans.
Find the nearest girl with daddy issues - Plow her
Problem solved.
But in all seriousness, use this set back as something to bounce back from and focus completely on your training, diet and winning this show. Use shakes and oats if your struggling to finish meals or get them down you.
Get shredded as fuck - use the breakup as motivation for your bodybuilding show.
Walk into a skanky club 2-3 days after the show - Tank top, shades, jeans.
Find the nearest girl with daddy issues - Plow her
Problem solved.
But in all seriousness, use this set back as something to bounce back from and focus completely on your training, diet and winning this show. Use shakes and oats if your struggling to finish meals or get them down you.
sorry to hear about that,, i was married for over 16 years,, its tuff,, but use it for fuel to become the best you that you've ever been,, and move on and she'll be sorry she ever did that to you later on ,,
In jan of 2011 I met a girl who I was so sure that she was the one that I fought with my mom about her (turns out my mother was right all along about her). She was beautiful, feisty and the sex was amazing. Looking back I dont know if I was in love or just infatuated that I moved from the city I lived in so I could live where she wanted to, gave up my job and started a new career and spent every penny I made in trying to make her happy.
She was verbally abusive and eventually escalated to being physically abusive towards me. I have never laid my hands on a woman in my life but Id be lying if i said that i wasnt tempted to with the things she said and did. The final straw was when I found out she had cheated on me with her ex bf.
We had an apartment together and luckily I met a guy at my job who needed a roommate. I gave her EVERYTHING that I owned in that apartment from furniture, electronics and even a cat that had been with me through thick and thin. She even took all the money in our joint bank account.
I moved out lonely, broken hearted and the only thing to my name was a car that I was still making payments on. It was ironic that I was a 30 year old man who made almost 60k a year but the only savings I really had were in my 401k and I was completely broke.
Within a few months I was picking up new girls all the time online on Plenty Of Fish. My bills were a lot less than before so I had a lot more play money so to speak and looking back I am so fucking happy she did that to me because I am so much better off without her.
I can truly understand how you feel because you probably did most things in your life with this woman like I did. You felt you lost a part of you initially but just hang in there, keep working out and ALWAYS keep talking to other girls. You will find other, better women out there as long as you just keep moving forward. She is the loser not you. By the time she realizes that you would have moved on. The only thing I miss is this guy.
In jan of 2011 I met a girl who I was so sure that she was the one that I fought with my mom about her (turns out my mother was right all along about her). She was beautiful, feisty and the sex was amazing. Looking back I dont know if I was in love or just infatuated that I moved from the city I lived in so I could live where she wanted to, gave up my job and started a new career and spent every penny I made in trying to make her happy.
She was verbally abusive and eventually escalated to being physically abusive towards me. I have never laid my hands on a woman in my life but Id be lying if i said that i wasnt tempted to with the things she said and did. The final straw was when I found out she had cheated on me with her ex bf.
We had an apartment together and luckily I met a guy at my job who needed a roommate. I gave her EVERYTHING that I owned in that apartment from furniture, electronics and even a cat that had been with me through thick and thin. She even took all the money in our joint bank account.
I moved out lonely, broken hearted and the only thing to my name was a car that I was still making payments on. It was ironic that I was a 30 year old man who made almost 60k a year but the only savings I really had were in my 401k and I was completely broke.
Within a few months I was picking up new girls all the time online on Plenty Of Fish. My bills were a lot less than before so I had a lot more play money so to speak and looking back I am so fucking happy she did that to me because I am so much better off without her.
I can truly understand how you feel because you probably did most things in your life with this woman like I did. You felt you lost a part of you initially but just hang in there, keep working out and ALWAYS keep talking to other girls. You will find other, better women out there as long as you just keep moving forward. She is the loser not you. By the time she realizes that you would have moved on. The only thing I miss is this guy.
Norm - sorry to hear about your situation. I am going through something similar so I understand how you feel. Sometimes the best thing to do is let go no matter how hard it is. I applaud you for continuing on with your contest. You have worked hard so no need to throw that all away.
Sorry to hear that, bro. Everyone's already given you great advice.
And if none of that works, just crash your E2 levels. Don't know what that will do for your contest prep but I accidentally found it makes me not give a shit about anyone.
Sorry to hear that, bro. Everyone's already given you great advice.
And if none of that works, just crash your E2 levels. Don't know what that will do for your contest prep but I accidentally found it makes me not give a shit about anyone.
Norm - sorry to hear about your situation. I am going through something similar so I understand how you feel. Sometimes the best thing to do is let go no matter how hard it is. I applaud you for continuing on with your contest. You have worked hard so no need to throw that all away.
Hard to give you advice. For me it would be hard i guess but not that hard woman a everywhere and i can find another one fast. With kids its different losing them is hard and can out you down. But that's not the case here with you. move on do your show find one or more new girls and have fun.
I m going to a possible divorce right now, and I can't concentrate.
some people can use the anger to their favor, I don't know how. but I don't have a show in mind, u do, so try to focus only in your show, that u did it without her and won, that would be amazing.
good luck my friend all the best.
thanks everybody.... You guys are all like family and I appreciate the support. Found even more evidence of even more years of cheating on a SIM card from one of her old cell phones. This woman damaged many lives and broke many hearts.
Unfortunately, I discovered a friend of mine's old phone number in her contacts. She had only met him once when we all went out to dinner back in 2007 when we were doing the long distance relationship thing. There is only one reason she would have that number and he was quite the player himself at that time. I remember him being amazed that I was a one woman man. He is a top level national competitor and was convinced that most bodybuilders had multiple women just because he did. First time I have ever had a friend do me like that.
LOL... more than likely I will run into him at the North Americans. If he plans on getting on stage he has some explaining to do. He has led a pretty sheltered life and I have not so I don't think he has any idea what he is in for.
Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against any of the countless other guys she has fucked around with, but you don't do that to a friend and every guy on the face of the earth knows that.
On the more cheerful side I have re-kindled a connection from long ago that never went as far as it could. She and I did so many cool things together and the only reason it didn't go further at the time was because I was already committed to my ex (big mistake). Anyhow, here it is 14 years later and we are both ready to see what we missed out on so many years ago...
I have told the ex goodbye and good riddance and have moved on.
thanks everybody.... You guys are all like family and I appreciate the support. Found even more evidence of even more years of cheating on a SIM card from one of her old cell phones. This woman damaged many lives and broke many hearts.
Unfortunately, I discovered a friend of mine's old phone number in her contacts. She had only met him once when we all went out to dinner back in 2007 when we were doing the long distance relationship thing. There is only one reason she would have that number and he was quite the player himself at that time. I remember him being amazed that I was a one woman man. He is a top level national competitor and was convinced that most bodybuilders had multiple women just because he did. First time I have ever had a friend do me like that.
LOL... more than likely I will run into him at the North Americans. If he plans on getting on stage he has some explaining to do. He has led a pretty sheltered life and I have not so I don't think he has any idea what he is in for.
Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against any of the countless other guys she has fucked around with, but you don't do that to a friend and every guy on the face of the earth knows that.
On the more cheerful side I have re-kindled a connection from long ago that never went as far as it could. She and I did so many cool things together and the only reason it didn't go further at the time was because I was already committed to my ex (big mistake). Anyhow, here it is 14 years later and we are both ready to see what we missed out on so many years ago...
I have told the ex goodbye and good riddance and have moved on.
lol now you're talking! I would plant my foot up the ass and out the mouth of a "friend" if they did that to me. Call me crazy loose canon hot head whaever that shit there is grounds for getting your ass rolled... fuck being polite and proper if he popped up to a show I was at... he wouldn't be worried about his placing anymore...
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