An update to this situation.
I'm friendly with the general manager of my Gold's that's closing. They were transferring our memberships to Texas Family Fitness but I (and many others) didn't want that because TFF sucks - it's not a gym for serious lifters, has no scale because they're into body positivity, has this weird blue nightclub lighting in the locker room, and is stocked with Precor and Matrix machines that just don't work well for my physiology. They tried to get 24 Hour Fitness to buy the memberships but they didn't make a good offer.
The GM told me there's another Gold's about 20 minutes away and if I liked it he'd transfer me there. I checked it out Saturday and was really impressed. It's one of the new clubs built since the German company bought Gold's a few years ago and is super nice - hardwood laminates and faux brick in the locker room, huge lobby with oversized chairs / tables / couches, and fully equipped with Gym80 equipment which I'd never used before. They also have a belt squat, pendulum squat, and a few other things I haven't used.
The best part was that the walls of the free weight area are covered with pictures of Arnold, Gold's Venice, and all the Golden Era guys. It's a much smaller gym than I'm used to but a good atmosphere and good equipment and I'm looking forward to training there.