"don't honestly know if she convinced herself I raped her at one point"
"No offense, but that's not closure to my brain"
"I've kept myself from even driving by her house so I'm fairly proud of that given how much I miss her."
Those are all your words.
At 51 I have been married, divorced, experienced a stillbirth, had a woman try to convince me a child she had with somebody else was mine, was a team sergeant of a team that got 4 purple hearts in two days with two of those teammates literally losing their heads and one of them losing their leg. Oh and one of those teammates that got killed took my spot because I was wounded two days prior. With that...... there's no going back
Closure is either acceptance and moving on or a crutch for those that can't.
I'm sure some Jaws dropped here to see someone talk about a relationship and the notion of rape in that relationship.
Going by a person's house that cuts off all forms of communication with you is stalking and has nothing to do with love.
You can either keep your distance from her or put yourself in a situation where the courts will give you a stern reminder to.