The age of being offended.

[Golden]

Why do people compell to make comments on people's posts here? I think most of us want to help others.

Actually when I got started and that was well before anyone knew what an internet was, I had guys who really knew what they were doing help me. If they corrected what I was doing wrong, I actually thank them because I wanted to learn.

The difference is nowadays lots want more attention and compliments before honesty. They get more offended then my generation ever did. We were thirsty for knowledge and wanted guidance.

I remember as a teenager going to the local hard-core gym, one of the only gyms that turned out competitive bodybuilders.

Total opposite of today in that place, you got recognition by working hard and turning up regularly. I remember being chuffed when some of the old fellas would come over and give advice or tips.

Sounds like a cliche but everybody helped everybody, the old timers would take enjoyment from passing on info they'd learned over decades and would be constantly pushing you to get better, for no reason but a love of the gym environment.

Sadly a lot of that has gone nowadays, Still get a good community in some gyms but that gym had something special. We'd have a coach full of lads go to support anybody competing from the gym.

Sorry, just reminiscing and made myself feel both old and a bit sad

 

[gib68sg]

We need to fill in some gaps here. I’ll preface by saying I am not easily offended. I’m old world where there’s discipline and consequences for actions, so I’m likely the one doing the offending out in the world today.

@buck and @pesty4077, if I’m not mistaken, you’re both in your sixties? It’s important that you acknowledge that some people hate white male baby boomers. You can do your own Google search on that. So Pesty, right off the bat, you’re at a disadvantage in approaching someone.

Finally, what was your approach? Did you approach with a friendly greeting first and introduce yourself, maybe ask if she is practicing posing for a competition, or did you say "Hey you’re doing that wrong" Because if someone did that to me, I’d absolutely tell them to fuck their mom. As a different example, imagine someone really knowledgeable and advanced like @luki7788 who has a video of himself doing smith inclines with like 4 or 5 plates per side and someone out of nowhere going up to him and simply saying "your grip is too wide."

Also, the comparison to the forum is inaccurate. We all signed up for accounts with the intention of having discussions and help each other as you stated. It’s implied that people want comments and posts in their thread to learn. There’s no way of telling if someone in a public place minding their own business wants that. Not until you see how an initial conversation is going.

You say you’re not easily offended, but immediately follow up with if someone tells you you’re doing something wrong you’d flip out on them…that doesn’t add up. Even if you don’t agree just nod or say thanks and go about your day. That’s truly not being offended.

 

[Fa Seeshus]

So, I saw some young girl on TikTok attempting to do a...

I've been using that as a random conversation starter today, and it works great!

 

[Bleed]

This is everywhere now. Men, women, teenagers, all generations. Im with Pesty. I will not help anyone in the gym even if theres a guy doing shoulder flyes with 50 pound dumbells coming up off his heels with every rep. Theres no point.

Everyone has it figured out. Everyone thinks their worldview is the correct one and their anecdotal experiences are all they need.

Even something like stats, which really are incredibly useful, are misused to make incredibly stupid points that fall apart immediately if you look at them closely.

Anyone seen the man vs bear topic? If you havent, dont. You dont want to even try to unwrap it. It will just waste your time and kill what hope you have left for humanity.

Unfortunately, most of the people I know IRL, internet, journalists, talking heads, are indistinguishable from the common activist.

You know what used to be a fresh breath of air? Asking someone a question and hearing them say "I dont know". You dont see that much anymore. Now its more likely the person your talking to has the solutions for all the worlds maladies figured out and believe it or not, the solution is black and white simple.

 

[danieltx]

Anyone seen the man vs bear topic? If you havent, dont. You dont want to even try to unwrap it. It will just waste your time and kill what hope you have left for humanity.

I think it's great. Alpha males and females will still find each other with no problems. But the vast majority of males and females are going to end up alone and unhappy, waking up at 40-years-old and realizing they wasted their prime years on empty feel-good platitudes.

 

[Bleed]

You are 100% correct. Though looking at those profile pics, "prime" years is a bit of a stretch.

I think it's great. Alpha males and females will still find each other with no problems. But the vast majority of males and females are going to end up alone and unhappy, waking up at 40-years-old and realizing they wasted their prime years on empty feel-good platitudes.

 

[FK86]

You say you’re not easily offended, but immediately follow up with if someone tells you you’re doing something wrong you’d flip out on them…that doesn’t add up. Even if you don’t agree just nod or say thanks and go about your day. That’s truly not being offended.

I didn't day I'd flip out. I'm also not offended by the advice, but it can be presented in a way that it is receptive. Why is it a problem to say hello and ask how it's going before you, a complete stranger, tell someone what do do?

 

[Fleezy]

I think it's great.

i think it's great also.. but likely for a different reason.

experience has turned me into somewhat of a misanthrope.. so i find this whole debacle between the sexes very entertaining

there are going to be a LOT of lonely men and women in the coming years.

men will retreat into their hobbies, video games, and other forms of entertainment.

i am not sure what women will do - but since they are generally more people-oriented than men are (men are generally object-oriented), i see their future being rather bleak.

i am seeing more and more tiktoks of young women crying about being alone, (or not being proposed to, or not having kids, or being single moms) every single day - and it's likely going to get worse.



i feel pretty bad about it, and would love to try to help these women avoid these pitfalls in life.

but as OP just saw, women either get offended, or dig their heels in and double down.


i dont see this getting better until it gets much, much worse.

 

[danieltx]

I didn't day I'd flip out. I'm also not offended by the advice, but it can be presented in a way that it is receptive. Why is it a problem to say hello and ask how it's going before you, a complete stranger, tell someone what do do?

Because saying hello and how's it going are bullshit phrases that mean nothing. They're ice breakers for those who are scared to break the ice. The real way you break the ice is by saying what you mean and that's in any area of life.

As for presenting information in a way that's receptive - I've tried to help young kids in the gym who are squatting or leg pressing in non-effective ways (notice I didn't say anything about form). They can see my quads, they can see that I have usually 100lbs. more than them. Those two things alone should make them completely receptive to what I'm saying - I'm what they want to be. But 9 times out of 10 they think they know better, it works for them even though they have toothpick legs, etc.

 

[Fleezy]

a few months back i saw a chick squatting in the smith machine with her feet pretty far out in front of her.. she did not look very experienced

i was going to suggest that she put the guards up - in case she lost her footing..

wouldn't want her to end up like that one chick who lost her footing and slipped, landing on her ass with the bar still on her shoulders.... turning her into a paraplegic



but i decided against it. lol


thankfully everything turned out alright

 

[Fa Seeshus]

So the elephant in the room here is that the female you are giving advice to thinks that you are hitting on them. If you meet some standards of theirs, they will like the advice. If you do not, they will react to you like you are a creep.

This is why I always start my critiques with:

"First off, I commend you on your effort to be less ugly, but your form on (XYZ) is compounding the nausea I feel in your presence..."

Delivered correctly this will get you a thank you and sloppy head in the broken co-ed sauna.

For further techniques you will have to buy my gym -Chad e-book coaching package "don't put all your nuts in one basket"

 

[danieltx]

So the elephant in the room here is that the female you are giving advice to thinks that you are hitting on them. If you meet some standards of theirs, they will like the advice. If you do not, they will react to you like you are a creep.

Absolutely correct.

It's all about delivery. Two men can say the exact same thing to a woman and one an come off as a creep and the other comes off as potential partner. It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

 

[Fleezy]

Two men can say the exact same thing to a woman and one an come off as a creep and the other comes off as potential partner.

maybe im confused.. but this seems to conflict with this:

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

maybe it's "it's not what you say, it's what you look like while saying it"


rules 1 and 2 - as always

 

[Fa Seeshus]

Absolutely correct.

It's all about delivery. Two men can say the exact same thing to a woman and one an come off as a creep and the other comes off as potential partner. It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

Oh. It is worse than that. You will get a different response from the SAME woman depending on the day of the week, if she has decided she is broken up or reconciled with her BF, if she thinks you are a mechanic and her car is squeaking, etc.

Only worry about factors you yourself can control. Such as if your face is puffy or not.

 

[gib68sg]

I didn't day I'd flip out. I'm also not offended by the advice, but it can be presented in a way that it is receptive. Why is it a problem to say hello and ask how it's going before you, a complete stranger, tell someone what do do?

I think saying “fuck your mother” is akin to flipping out brotha. And like @danieltx said, saying “hello, how ya doing…” is a waste of time. Just say what you mean and move on

 

[Muay Thai]

We need to fill in some gaps here. I’ll preface by saying I am not easily offended. I’m old world where there’s discipline and consequences for actions, so I’m likely the one doing the offending out in the world today.

@buck and @pesty4077, if I’m not mistaken, you’re both in your sixties? It’s important that you acknowledge that some people hate white male baby boomers. You can do your own Google search on that. So Pesty, right off the bat, you’re at a disadvantage in approaching someone.

Finally, what was your approach? Did you approach with a friendly greeting first and introduce yourself, maybe ask if she is practicing posing for a competition, or did you say "Hey you’re doing that wrong" Because if someone did that to me, I’d absolutely tell them to fuck their mom. As a different example, imagine someone really knowledgeable and advanced like @luki7788 who has a video of himself doing smith inclines with like 4 or 5 plates per side and someone out of nowhere going up to him and simply saying "your grip is too wide."

Also, the comparison to the forum is inaccurate. We all signed up for accounts with the intention of having discussions and help each other as you stated. It’s implied that people want comments and posts in their thread to learn. There’s no way of telling if someone in a public place minding their own business wants that. Not until you see how an initial conversation is going.

the thing is, what separates our generations from the new, was until I was 18 years old, 99.99% of the time unless it was during a physical altercation, I would always DEFAULT to respect my elders and walk away, or consider the source rather than reply impulsively or sarcastically. The family dynamic for these kids is fucked and lacking. kids also do weird shit when they are going through hormonal changes I am speaking as a father and longtime sport athlete.

pesty people don't want our help or advice now a days and the rare ones that do end up here, even rarer, they last a few years and grow and become a part of our community

I stay away from social encounters as I have an extreme propensity for violence if I feel disrespected or offended - which is not easy to make me feel offended, but there are hardly limits when I get there.

make sure you NEVER open the door for women like this, slam it or leave it half way and make her ass squeeze through it like toothpaste. totally accidental as she probably also expects you and every male to open the door for her.

 

[mayan]

Didn't read all the replies yet but we live in the age of people being "offended" and "micro aggressions". If someone is offended by simwonelse that's a personal problem in my book. People like to claim they are victims or offended in today's ultra sensitive fragile world because being a "victim" is a good way to gain sympathy, attention, $$, power, etc. words we used as kids, certain jokes, are no longer socially acceptable lol.

Yes!!! When I saw the title of this thread, I thought to myself “qbkilla will be all over this one”…well done!!

And yeah, agree here. Except for the power part, I can’t think of any whiny victims who have gained any real power, but sympathy and attention whoring and even a little dough, yeah.

No one should be surprised at the ease with which it is to offend young people today. This generation was spoiled to death, even by comparison to the last one before them. They were taught that “your truth is your truth” (you’re never wrong), and that they shouldn’t ever have to listen to anything that makes them uncomfortable. Most of their minds (and most of their bodies) are far weaker than they should be.

 

[Fleezy]

Most of their minds (and most of their bodies) are far weaker than they should be.

i blame lunchables

 

[kastro]

God forbid you ask someone to work in with them

 

[hawkmoon]

Some might hate it, but one of my favorite things about living in Japan is people leave me the fsck alone.
This isn't a negative comment on @pesty4077, but rather this situation reminds me of how different things are here.

Of course the perceived or real language barrier and my size makes most people (other than Yakuza) hesitate, but it's true for regular people as well.
People come into the gym, train, and go home. Almost no one talks unless they have come in with a partner. I did have an Indian guy come up and ask for a picture last month though lol.

The interactions I have had with females in the gym has been amusing, but I have never approached them from my side because I don't really talk to anyone. I guess this keeps me safe - or so my wife says