I am by no means a medical professional but I have talked quite a few of my friends out of a dark place. I have deployed four times to Iraq and Afghanistan and the other two have to remain unnamed. Please PM me if you want to talk over the phone. We can talk about anything, life, gear, DNP, lady issues ( I have been married, divorced and remarried to the same woman). Be good my man.No. In fact, I'm drinking quite a bit. Three years sobriety down the toilet.
Dad would have been 68 today. I'll never be half the man he was.
Not eating enough, just drinking. Weighed in at 186 today. Hey at least I'll be a ripped drunk.
When you’re ready to get sober, tell yourself that you have to be the best you, not the best rendition of your father.No. In fact, I'm drinking quite a bit. Three years sobriety down the toilet.
Dad would have been 68 today. I'll never be half the man he was.
Not eating enough, just drinking. Weighed in at 186 today. Hey at least I'll be a ripped drunk.
I’m not going to chime in anymore, because I don’t want to seem condescending...but you’re doing it wrong. I hope you figure things out.I know...
Things are a little better the past couple days. I was dealing with a pain that only alcohol was taking away. Had two beers and smoked some weed with a girl I've been hanging out with. She's a cool companion, but as much as she talks, I sure as hell won't be running tren any time soon
"you're doing it wrong"
Story of my life.
Making any progress? I spent 4 weeks off booze and then went on another binger. Same antics as before. I get too drunk and become a belligerent A-hole. This last year of my life has been a shit show.I've been helping a buddy of mine get through some worse shit, and in a way, it makes me tighten up so that I can be a good influence on him. It's helping us both, although I'm not sure he realizes that. Im the guy that always has it together, I have sort of a reputation to uphold. People expect a little more out of you. Gets old, but also good motivation, at times.
I want to say it's woman related, but I'm in charge of my own destiny, am I not?
I fucked this one up, I'll spare you the details...but last night I did things I've never done. I would have been sober three years come July 7. That ended last night. I also need to admit something else...Not only did I drive, but I was also on the phone with my friend just ranting and raving while I'm driving. I've been an alcoholic but I've never drank and drove and I'm usually the first one to get road rage when some idiot isn't paying any attention to the road. Mind you, it's 430 in the morning, so not much traffic, until I got a little lost, went the wrong way down a highway and nearly hit another car head on.
These are things I've never done. When I was drinking, I was still always very aware of what was going on, what I was doing to myself. Not this time. I feel like I'm losing control. I took around 20 Benadryl yesterday, too. I wasn't trying to kill myself; if I wanted to do that, I'd find a far more efficient way. It's really the reason I didn't before, I wouldn't have wanted my family to find me like that. I just wanted to sleep and forget about it, which didn't work. I've been awake for three days, but ironically, my brain seems to function just fine in reminding me that I'm nothing but a fuckin useless drunk and I always will be.
I don't even know what to do. I've run the gamut with psychiatrists and antidepressants, talk about something that'll REALLY make we wanna put a bullet through my fuckin head are those things. I'm losing control and it feels like there's nothing I can do about it. I've done it before, but it just seems not even worth it now.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. It's not even about women, really. It's the fact that I feel like I'm not good enough. Hell...maybe mom was right, she used to tell it to me all the time...