A little different..

[GymDudeVA]

Ok, I am gay and my issue is with a guy, but I don't think it's much differemt from what a lot of of I read here. If you want to turn this thread into a referendum on homosexuality, please go away because that is not the issue here.

Anyway, I love this guy so much. We have been dating about 5 months, but it seems like longer. It is like is he is the best part of all previous boyfriends, rolled into one super guy. Like wow. He loves me so much. I am 49 years old and was happy single and it would take a special someone to come along, but this is the one.

The problem? He travels A LOT for work. To keep this short, he sorta blew me off at the airport after insisting I go with him. And left me there at his place just reading a book the night before (while he did last-minute email, etc), when I SAID maybe it was better that I just went home.

He is much smarter than me, and knows lots more. He has tried SO hard to make me feel special, but it sort of comes across like an adult humoring a 4-year-old. I know a lot, but in very obscure areas. But he knows about everything....air, water, plants, you name it...

I guess I should just be my normal goofy self but then I get corrected or he knows more about whatever than I do, in which case I just clam up.

Any advice?

 

[mexbeast]

i don't know if gay feelings are the same or not; but i can tell you that it annoys the hell out of me when my girl does not respect my space, i will leave her in a hart beat if she nags and don't leave me alone! what i am saying if hi goes on a trip and don't invite you don't insist on inviting your self.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Ok, I am gay and my issue is with a guy, but I don't think it's much differemt from what a lot of of I read here. If you want to turn this thread into a referendum on homosexuality, please go away because that is not the issue here.

Anyway, I love this guy so much. We have been dating about 5 months, but it seems like longer. It is like is he is the best part of all previous boyfriends, rolled into one super guy. Like wow. He loves me so much. I am 49 years old and was happy single and it would take a special someone to come along, but this is the one.

The problem? He travels A LOT for work. To keep this short, he sorta blew me off at the airport after insisting I go with him. And left me there at his place just reading a book the night before (while he did last-minute email, etc), when I SAID maybe it was better that I just went home.

He is much smarter than me, and knows lots more. He has tried SO hard to make me feel special, but it sort of comes across like an adult humoring a 4-year-old. I know a lot, but in very obscure areas. But he knows about everything....air, water, plants, you name it...

I guess I should just be my normal goofy self but then I get corrected or he knows more about whatever than I do, in which case I just clam up.

Any advice?

Perhaps you're putting this guy on a pedestal? Maybe you need to COMMUNICATE your feelings. Be careful not to let your own feelings of inferiority interfere with your relationship. If you are comfortable with who you are and your strengths and weaknesses, this might not be as much of an issue.

 

[cpesloco]

just be you, he sounds like a know it all and probably loves to school you on things you don't know. so what if your wrong about something, what's the big deal. if this is the least of your problems then all is good.

 

[GymDudeVA]

Thanks so much, guys.

He finally got a hold of me from So. America. (you'd think in this day and age Colombia would not be a big deal to call from, but apparently even if we can put a man on the moon, 40 years ago, we cannot get a reliable connection from So. America today). I sort of spilled out all my issues in the 30 minutes or so we had to talk. It was like a quick summary of getting all out on the table quickly, but kinda worked in that. Before he hung up he asked did I still want to date him. Before he even finished, I said YES. Then I said Ok do YOU want to date ME just as I am, without trying to change me. He said of course. So we ended at a good place but I have to wait til Sunday until he is back in town.

PS: GAY OR STRAIGHT, relationships are a pain LOL. Unless you KNOW you really love the person, it's usually not worth it. I am usually single and happier for it LOL. So guys, stay true to yourself and never never ever feel pressure to get involved with someone else. Especially to you young guys.....it is OK to be alone.....5 minutes with your own hand is much easier than months of grief. Just sayin'.

 

[mexbeast]

Thanks so much, guys.



PS: GAY OR STRAIGHT, relationships are a pain LOL. Unless you KNOW you really love the person, it's usually not worth it. I am usually single and happier for it LOL. So guys, stay true to yourself and never never ever feel pressure to get involved with someone else. Especially to you young guys.....it is OK to be alone.....5 minutes with your own hand is much easier than months of grief. Just sayin'.

haha. hallerious but true.

 

[GymDudeVA]

He's back and we have talked some, but haven't seen each other.

I think a lot of it had to do with me lashing out (through having held things in out of fear). I said a couple of harsh things on text/email. I think drinking didn't help things, and I think my depression was kicking in. I am back on Prozac, and seeing my shrink today. I am considering just STOPPING all booze since once in a while it makes me cranky...add in the "supplements" and probably not good.

It all seemed so justified at the time, but now I feel like the world's biggest asshole and that maybe I lost him. I am scared he is going to dump me tonight. Probably not, but I would not blame him. He still calls me his partner, says he loves me, etc., but seems a tad withdrawn. I just want to go back to where we were SOOOOOO bad.

This whole cycle, sort of, happened once before months ago, and I said never again, and here I was having another melt-down way beyond anything he did.

 

[superbeast22]

stop chasing him, that will drive him away, let him come to you. pickup when he calls, ect. but stop bothering him, dont be the next one to initiate communication for a little bit...

 

[mexbeast]

what hi said, why do you blame your self? now i will sound like contradicting my self. so you told hem what was on your mind, you stand up for you, if hi don't like you for who you are, then his not for you. you don't always have to take shit from anyone.