OT - Helping a Loved One with Depression

[Sully1234]

As everyone else has said and I’ve learned first hand- you can’t save her.

I know you are right. But I need to do everything in my power to help her save herself.... And yes, I know how I sound unfortunately.

 

[pimpman]

What I'm concerned is why her Dr doesn't want to see her for a while?what went wrong that he has made this choice?

On another note im.sure you love her and want the best for her and you want to help her.BUT IN THE LONG RUN if she doesn't want the help and doesn't wants med for what ever reason side effects or what ever reason she is using. As much as you love her you need to let her go man. I know you don't want to hear this.but like many have said if someone with problems like her dont want help.they going to make your life miserable and God forbid hurt you which is worse.and I don't mean hurt as in feelings. Just mho

 

[bbxtreme]

I know you are right. But I need to do everything in my power to help her save herself.... And yes, I know how I sound unfortunately.

No judgment man. I’ve been there. Get her to the right therapist or doctor man.

 

[LK3]

being diagnosed both bipolar and boarder line ill tell you i stay far away from docs and the drugs they push.
the only real answer is to be motivated and take care of shit yourself.
its just straight unexcptable to stay in bed all day at length.
that said people do make there own decisions.
if someone makes the decision not to change you have to make yours.
gotta be active and eat good at the least.
go do some fun drugs and stop being depressed. lol

 

[SouthernMuscle]

Without going into too many details the night of our one year anniversary I had to literally pull her off a ledge... So maybe I'm just biased and dramatic but it's hard to see how it can get worse.

I'm just desperate.

Well just imagine what comes after the ledge, that’s how bad it could get

 

[goback2013]

I know I'm bipolar. That's why I do all the moving, running, etc. Keeps my mind. 'stable'
But this is not about me. Just relaying tools I use as I refuse to get on any psych meds

 

[goback2013]

being diagnosed both bipolar and boarder line ill tell you i stay far away from docs and the drugs they push.
the only real answer is to be motivated and take care of shit yourself.
its just straight unexcptable to stay in bed all day at length.
that said people do make there own decisions.
if someone makes the decision not to change you have to make yours.
gotta be active and eat good at the least.
go do some fun drugs and stop being depressed. lol

Yeah. I 'sat in my shit' for like 1month a couple years back. And said fuck this... Which is why I started running and doing all this extreme working out. It's like a 2nd job. But it keeps me going and I feel victorious.
Of course like David Goggins I could just be running away from some trauma. .
Maybe I should vomit it up through a DMT session or something similar

 

[Sully1234]

What I'm concerned is why her Dr doesn't want to see her for a while?what went wrong that he has made this choice?

On another note im.sure you love her and want the best for her and you want to help her.BUT IN THE LONG RUN if she doesn't want the help and doesn't wants med for what ever reason side effects or what ever reason she is using. As much as you love her you need to let her go man. I know you don't want to hear this.but like many have said if someone with problems like her dont want help.they going to make your life miserable and God forbid hurt you which is worse.and I don't mean hurt as in feelings. Just mho

As far as I'm aware it has nothing to do with anything that happened. They are just backed up with patients and she cant get in... Clearly she didn't tell them how serious it is.

I understand. But if anything were to happen and I knew I didnt try everything... ya know.

 

[Sully1234]

Well just imagine what comes after the ledge, that’s how bad it could get

She let go and I caught her is what I'm getting at. A quarter of a second difference and yeah... That's what I mean by couldnt get much worse.

 

[Sully1234]

being diagnosed both bipolar and boarder line ill tell you i stay far away from docs and the drugs they push.
the only real answer is to be motivated and take care of shit yourself.
its just straight unexcptable to stay in bed all day at length.
that said people do make there own decisions.
if someone makes the decision not to change you have to make yours.
gotta be active and eat good at the least.
go do some fun drugs and stop being depressed. lol

......... what the fuck?

 

[SouthernMuscle]

She let go and I caught her is what I'm getting at. A quarter of a second difference and yeah... That's what I mean by couldnt get much worse.

I see

 

[comedycentral]

As much as I felt stupid starting I have been journaling in a fashion for about a month and it’s really helped. I was a bit stressed and pissed at things and overthinking. I basically did a huge brain dump day 1 and waffles rubbish about what was bugging me and I’ve don’t it everyday since. Helped a bit certainly first couple of weeks. Felt like something had lifted

 

[Black Beard]

My sister has been diagnosed with Bi-Polar and she is fkn crazy.
She is sweet nd nice nice one day then next day sends random abusive messages, rips people off out of money (takes loans doesn't pay back), doesn't let our mother see her grandkids... she's a fkn idiot.

Anyway mate you need to get a really good psychiatrist. I have seen them medicate some people with serious issues and completely fix the quality of their life. I would be doing my homework, asking around and king straight to someone with a lot of experience and proven track record. Some of these professionals are amazing.

Good luck brother.

This is can likely be misdiagnosed borderline personality disorder. Happens all the time. Extremely rapid cycling bipolar is actually pretty rare. Borderline personality disorder is something many people don't know about and confuse with bipolar disorder. They basically cause chaos and self-sabotage all the time.

 

[juggy38]

She let go and I caught her is what I'm getting at. A quarter of a second difference and yeah... That's what I mean by couldnt get much worse.

She’s not on her Meds, as I figured. (No judgement, it’s the cycle.

Start meds……do well…….med side effects slowly show….get off meds…..become unstable….the inevitable crash and burn. Family friends pick up the pieces….restart cycle.


If You’re my best friend…..I’d tell you to walk away now. No kids, no marriage??? Get gone. This sounds terrible….but it’s the truth. If her disorder requires mood stabilizers to function properly in society (not massively depressed or manic or hypo manic)

You will be caught in the cycle of on/off meds. And your life will be a life of a chaos cycle.

There are many bi polar individuals that can manage without meds, or just some
Of the meds that are not so rough to be on(Lithium/depakote are riddled with sides)

Hypomaic/manic phases, she could easily ruin your life and hers in a heartbeat. I’ve seen it 100s of times.

“Mani phase wife gets angry, fucks 2-3 conworkers, files for divorce, posts IG pictures of your AAS stash on IG calling you a drug addict.”

^^^thats a hypothetical scenario…..but even seeming outrageous to some that don’t work mental health……that’s a pretty vanilla manic outburst. I’ve seen MUCH MUCH worse.

 

[juggy38]

And NO NO NO supplements.

You know how we accidentally diagnose bi polar most of the time?

They come depressed, we give an SSRI….a week later they spent 5,000$ on Amazon and drove across the country…

Whoops….they were bi polar, the SSRI threw them into mania. My bad

A dopamine/serotonin shift from a supplement could easily do the same.

 

[pimpman]

As far as I'm aware it has nothing to do with anything that happened. They are just backed up with patients and she cant get in... Clearly she didn't tell them how serious it is.

I understand. But if anything were to happen and I knew I didnt try everything... ya know.

Yea I can understand that just be careful she don't hurt you man. Sometimes it happens be safe

 

[goback2013]

Yea I can understand that just be careful she don't hurt you man. Sometimes it happens be safe

Facts. Guys trying to white knight these females. Only to be the victim of a false claim and they end up sitting in county.
Too many females out there to be crying over one. One who is one crazy episode away from hurting you badly.
Fuck that.

 

[pimpman]

Facts. Guys trying to white knight these females. Only to be the victim of a false claim and they end up sitting in county.
Too many females out there to be crying over one. One who is one crazy episode away from hurting you badly.
Fuck that.

I have to agree.if you try to help them and they get help they be better. But I personally wouldn't be with a girl with mental problems not even if she is on meds. I can't live looking over my shoulder all the time.its happened way too many time and people pay with their life.

I understand the OP feeling bad if something happened to her. But if she hurts him she ain't going to feel the bad. But he be gone
Specially if it's thst bad as he says and she don't want meds. Fuck that . It's a ticking bomb. But love blinds people

 

[slesh]

Not counting the dozen times I've been dumped for a few days to a week? 13 months.

I mean this without malice - I think you need to walk away. You’re not married and don’t have kids. You can’t waste your life trying to help someone who can’t or doesn’t want to be helped. I know it’s easy for me to say sitting over here but life is short my dude. At the end of the day you need to do what’s best for you. Because I guarantee if you stay and keep banging your head against the wall you will end resenting her anyways.

 

[Samson250]

I’m bi polar. I know where she’s at. We can talk in pm’s anytime.