How To Be Single? (stupid I know)

[Thor]

THIS!^^^^^

bro, you know i love your posts, right? We agree on a lot, but dude, you mentioned gym, bodybuilding, and powerlifting in there at least 7 times each. Thats a total of like what 18-21 references to working out. Working out and being built is not who we are, its what we do. Tell women about yourself. Not your hobbies like that but the things that make you, you. It comes through in your posts that you have a sensitive and caring side(no homo) and most bb'ers are big old teddy bears...LOL. Anyway, just drop some gym references. If you want some help, hit me up man.

-osiris

Chris I've been there done that, Just what your going thru years ago, took me a LONG time but I learned how to be myself, I AM a nice guy but it didnt help me much, try to find the line between your nice guy and your manly macho bad boy side, believe me when I found that it was amazing how much more women wanted to date me, and the whole BBing thing, FORGET it, DONT put that on your online profile, they will IMMEDIATELY stereotype you as a dumb,selfish, meathead, and they wont respond. I talked to many girls from POF and MATCH and they all said they get HUNDREDS of guys weekly sending them emails, they told me they take a QUICK look at the pics and a SCAN of the profile and say yes or no in seconds! Bodybuilding is something that you slowly share with them AFTER you've been with them a while and they ASK about why your so built, beleive me you have to let them know who you are somewhat and see that your a good caring compassionate guy BEFORE you tell them about it, hell I never told any of em, I waited til we were about to get down and I would start getting undressed and they would be like "DAMN you got a hot body!" The sex would be great cuz they were turned on by who I was and how I looked, then afterward I would say ( only if they asked) that I did bodybuilding as a hobby.

 

[matt1164]

To be honest I think it is when you have been around death long enough or acts of extreme violence you realize how fragile life is and how important it is to have some sort of human attatchement to someone you love more than yourself.

I have never been happy on my own for as long as I can remember. I have always based my happiness off of how well I am taking care of my spouse.


But back on topic, how do you guys approach women? I don't want cheesy pick up lines, but seriously if I see a girl that interests me what do I do? What do I say?

wait for the chick to make eye contact, then smile at her. if she smiles back go over and try to talk to her. pretty simple. I try to strike up a conversation whenever I feel like I am getting a vibe from a chick. just go for it. you got nothing to lose.

join a yoga or some kind of cardio class (kick boxing). the ones around my house have tons of chicks and you get to see the same ones at least once a week. you can build a rapport with someone this way instead of just approaching random girls.

you can also join a support group for something. I meet a few girls from a single parent group.

try meetup.com or match.

you'll will find someone easy.

btw, what state do you live in?

 

[Thor]

ALSO...

Why no confidence bro, young, good lookin, well built, good job, WTF ! I would seriously give my left nut to trade places with you for a year ! You may have to go thru hundreds of women to find a keeper ( I did) but let me tell you the journey is so much fun! Dont take any shit though, the FIRST time a woman starts tellin me what to do or not to do I say oh yea, well I am NOT your puppet bitch and you can leave now cuz I got one word left for ya,.... NEXT !

 

[Performance Based]

Alright I took out most of the references to bodybuilding/training. At least I think I got them all haha. To be honest I am not enjoying this at all, anyone I meet/talk to I am loosing interest incredibly quickly. It really is apparent that mediocrity is plaguing our society. If you are 27 years old you better have at least an education or a better job than waitresssing at the local
chilis in my opinion.

Oh and to the other question, I am in DFW - Texas

Why no confidence bro, young, good lookin, well built, good job, WTF ! I would seriously give my left nut to trade places with you for a year ! You may have to go thru hundreds of women to find a keeper ( I did) but let me tell you the journey is so much fun! Dont take any shit though, the FIRST time a woman starts tellin me what to do or not to do I say oh yea, well I am NOT your puppet bitch and you can leave now cuz I got one word left for ya,.... NEXT !

It sounds pathetic but when your in a relationship for long enough and told that your a piece of shit for this and that daily you end up starting to believe it. I can think logically and know I have alot to offer, but my emotional views of myself after the past 5-6 years of relationships is extremely low. I don't know if that makes sense at all.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side either man, you wouldn't want to trade places with me. It sounds nice to say but I am in the fortunate position to have all the monetary wealth I will ever need (family + personal), but I would trade it all without thinking for a good social circle of people that actually cared about me and a decent woman. I literally know no one. The only numbers in my phone are my ex and a few girls i've met that I have literally zero interest in.

 

[Michaelthomasj]

Alright guys pardon me if this is in the wrong section, didn't think counseling would have been the best section.

Fiance and I split for good, 2.5 years together. Terrible relationship. But thats not the point.

I am in my mid twenties, successful, nice body, educated, have copious amounts of free time, travel for pleasure out of the country 4-6 times a year w/ spouse, and love to spoil whomever I am with. I know I have alot to offer in a relationship but have huge self esteem issues. I have only been in two serious relationships, both were absolutely terrible. Its embarrassing to say as a guy but extreme mental, emotional, physical abuse.

1) Clothes/Appearance? Any websites good for ordering clothing? I am looking at my wardrobe, some nice stuff but its most all ripped/torn/holes from fights over the years with her.

Any appearance things? I'm pretty good at body hair removal but to be honest I don't really take care of my physical appearance anymore besides that and hair cuts.

2) Meeting women, what are some good places to do this? I don't go to bars/clubs. Pretty much just the gym besides work (no females) and school. I have completely forgotten how to talk to women. I for the most part haven't been allowed to even speak to men/women for the past two years unless my significant other was present and to be honest I no longer have social skills.

Had a girl eyeing me all night last night at the gym, tried to talk to her and her headphones were in, didn't think she noticed, about 10 minutes later she comes up and tries to talk to me and I completely clamed up, started sweating, and nearly fainted.Just said "oh sorry thought you were someone else".

Trying to piece my life back together but I have been in either absolutely terrible relationships for the past 6 years or overseas and I honestly don't know where to start.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hey brother,

First it takes a lot of confidence to come on here and tell your story, so that in itself is an improvement. I know you are seeing a counselor and that is great. You want to make sure that you can see the type of women you have been attracted to that have been taking advantage of you. You dont want to keep following the same cycle. Counseling will help with this.

The supermarket and book stores are a great place to meet women. Plus in a book store you can pick up some books on confidence and talking to women. I do feel for you brother and wish you the best of luck in your search. You seem like a good guy. Keep your head up brother. You have a lot to offer, but you just need the right woman to appreciate you and to share life with.

 

[Thor]

FOR SURE BRO...

It sounds pathetic but when your in a relationship for long enough and told that your a piece of shit for this and that daily you end up starting to believe it. I can think logically and know I have alot to offer, but my emotional views of myself after the past 5-6 years of relationships is extremely low. I don't know if that makes sense at all.

MY WHOLE FUCKING CHILDHOOD WAS LIKE THIS ! My father beat the crap out of me almost every day from the time I was about 5 years old til age 16 when I left home, and while he was pounding me with a closed fist to my face and gut he was telling me that I was stupid and would never learn, that I would never amount to much and that I was worthless, so YEA I CAN RELATE! It took me years of counseling and close friends and girlfriends( most of whom I never told this to)to overcome. Not to minimize yours but one woman and 5 years should be able to be dealt with much easier than mine. IT can be done bro, now get busy and just apply the same energy that you do at the gym to it and give yourself some time to heal and THEN look for a woman, if you want to have a babe for fun then go for it but I wouldnt get to close emotionally til YOU are ready.

 

[Thor]

ALSO...

The grass isn't always greener on the other side either man, you wouldn't want to trade places with me. It sounds nice to say but I am in the fortunate position to have all the monetary wealth I will ever need (family + personal), but I would trade it all without thinking for a good social circle of people that actually cared about me and a decent woman. I literally know no one. The only numbers in my phone are my ex and a few girls i've met that I have literally zero interest in.


This is something that takes time to establish and you are still very young so give yourself some time, I hate worrying about money all the time so that would be less stress for me but I hear ya about the loneliness, go out and meet people but choose your friends carefully and DONT tell people that you have money before you really get to know them,.... at age 50 I only have a few of close friends that I trust and one good woman that I really love. And all of my friends would say the same thing about themselves.

 

[Performance Based]

Believe me man I know its nothing in comparisson. I think I just need to move/buy all new shit too. Washing the sheets and pillow cases and they are just disgusting. Everythings stained with my blood, and not just a drop here and there but seriously some pretty big splotches 12x12 inches all over.


Logically I know Step one is to get her completely off of my mind. Just wish it were easier.

We were texting earlier today, I'm telling her I love her and do care about her and all I get back is everything from your a piece of shit to you never took care of me to insult after insult. I'm just realizing how much I have been manipulated over the years to take blame for her actions. Didn't even get mad and say anything back other than "please stop being rude".

If only meeting a quality woman was easy. This online thing just isn't working for me in the slightest.

Seriously how the hell do you initiate a conversation with a woman? I am going to do some research if only NEJM would publish in regards to this lol.

 

[Snuka]

Alright I took out most of the references to bodybuilding/training. At least I think I got them all haha. To be honest I am not enjoying this at all, anyone I meet/talk to I am loosing interest incredibly quickly. It really is apparent that mediocrity is plaguing our society. If you are 27 years old you better have at least an education or a better job than waitresssing at the local
chilis in my opinion.

Oh and to the other question, I am in DFW - Texas




It sounds pathetic but when your in a relationship for long enough and told that your a piece of shit for this and that daily you end up starting to believe it. I can think logically and know I have alot to offer, but my emotional views of myself after the past 5-6 years of relationships is extremely low. I don't know if that makes sense at all.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side either man, you wouldn't want to trade places with me. It sounds nice to say but I am in the fortunate position to have all the monetary wealth I will ever need (family + personal), but I would trade it all without thinking for a good social circle of people that actually cared about me and a decent woman. I literally know no one. The only numbers in my phone are my ex and a few girls i've met that I have literally zero interest in.

I used to have that mindset. Why be friends with a girl if you are not interested or don't have a shot.

Then I started to think....

NETWORK...NETWORK...NETWORK!!!! Even though you are not interested in them, these girls know other girls, maybe who are in the same situation. They know the good and the bad about the people they can refer you to. Hang out with them and they can put in good words for you with whomever they know. Its always good to have a liason with shit like that.

That was my biggest mistake. I was in a really long term relationship and I used to have a lot of girl friends. Since I didn't want to start shit or have the whole jealousy thing, I stopped talking with them over time. When the relationship ended I was down to no one. If I could do it all over again I would have stayed in contact with them so I can network.

 

[marko0179]

Check out this website, great tips on dating, and meeting women.

Roissy.wordpress.com

enjoy

 

[Performance Based]

Its a cool website but id feel like such a dick talkign to women like that

 

[10m322appomeWraph]

pozycjonowanie

Skuteczne i efektywne pozycjonowanie stron internetowych w wyszukiwarkach - pozycjonowanie w wynikach naturlanych - **broken link removed** pozycjonowanie portali www **broken link removed**

 

[weltweite]

Believe me man I know its nothing in comparisson. I think I just need to move/buy all new shit too. Washing the sheets and pillow cases and they are just disgusting. Everythings stained with my blood, and not just a drop here and there but seriously some pretty big splotches 12x12 inches all over.


Logically I know Step one is to get her completely off of my mind. Just wish it were easier.

We were texting earlier today, I'm telling her I love her and do care about her and all I get back is everything from your a piece of shit to you never took care of me to insult after insult. I'm just realizing how much I have been manipulated over the years to take blame for her actions. Didn't even get mad and say anything back other than "please stop being rude".

If only meeting a quality woman was easy. This online thing just isn't working for me in the slightest.

Seriously how the hell do you initiate a conversation with a woman? I am going to do some research if only NEJM would publish in regards to this lol.

Be picky. Don't get emotionally invested too fast with any new girl you meet. I have friends that simply CANNOT help get emotionally attached to the first girl that pays attention to them..

A recipe for disaster..

Use the mind set that you are feeling them out. Judging their traits, character etc. AND PLEASE PLEASE look at "signs"

What I mean by that is, try to read into things they do or say, it really tells you a lot about a person. Small little subtle things are a dead give away for how a person is. I don't know if that is something hard to observe, but I seem to catch those things really early, and end up being right later.

The main thing is, know your self-worth. It sounds corny, but its true. If you realize you are WORTH something, you may not settle for the first girl that comes your way.

From reading your posts, your ex really messed with your self-worth. Your going to have regain that.. don't be left vulnerable.

Also.. don't tell new girls too much about your ex.. It isn't good to talk about your previous relationship too much, and you don't want them thinking you are a push over etc.

You want to come off as worth something, and confident. Don't give off a mopey... and a "aw poor guy" type vibe. Don't need that pity.. causes a lot of misunderstandings..


A last opinion, which may be controversial, is about how easy a girl is.. if your looking for sex, then thats fine.. but if your starting to like a girl, that wants to bang the very next day.. she has obviously been that way with other guys..

Her sexual worth is low.. and I think that is a recipe for a break up/ divorce in the future.

I am so lucky to have found a girl who I can genuinely say from the bottom of my heart is loyal, and would never cheat on me. From the very get go, she is the one who told me she will stop talkin to "guy friends" cause that is disrespectful to me. It was like autopilot, I didn't have to tell her all these things.

I say this because you need to find girls like that if you want a good relationship. Those 3 am hook ups are fun and all, but are a little depressing, cause their not YOUR girl.

I think the statistics on relationships based on sex are 2-3 years. After that the relationships go sour often, because they had no real foundation besides sexual attraction. Interesting stuff.

 

[ShortStop]

at this day and age online is where u can meet girls. there are so many free single sites that u can get on. what i like about this is they see your pic already so if there talking to ya there attracted to u. plus trading naked pics is cool too. cuts through all the bullshit and u dont even have to leave your house. u punch in your zip code all the girls in a 25mile radius come up. i send out 50emails all saying the same bullshit line. something like "your beautiful will u talk to me" and then u just reel them in. i met my present girlfriend this way. we been together a year plus now.

 

[stormshadow]

God damn these spmammers are annoying (not you). You know I have tried the online thing. I only got responses about 10% of the time. Really don't understand why so badly either. Not terrible looking at all, always been with beautiful women who were educated. Getting blown off by some 25 year old with a kid working and Ihop just doesn't make sense to me.

Any websites you can recommend? I've tried match.com and it just was crap IMO

Don't chase girls on the dating sites. I have a profile on POF but wait for girls to contact me, it's just something to have going on in the background. Most girls online are fat or single moms, or both. So don't expect much.

Since the guy/girl ratio is so out of whack on those sites, even the most average girls will have an ego. One of the girls I hook up with is nothing special and she went on there and was getting a shit ton of emails from guys.

My advise is only bother putting effort into the ones that contact you. Girls that go online know what they want, or at least what they think they want, and it is a waste of time to try and pick them up or build attraction. Better to hit up girls in person that most guys are too scared to approach.

 

[stormshadow]

Believe me man I know its nothing in comparisson. I think I just need to move/buy all new shit too. Washing the sheets and pillow cases and they are just disgusting. Everythings stained with my blood, and not just a drop here and there but seriously some pretty big splotches 12x12 inches all over.


Logically I know Step one is to get her completely off of my mind. Just wish it were easier.

We were texting earlier today, I'm telling her I love her and do care about her and all I get back is everything from your a piece of shit to you never took care of me to insult after insult. I'm just realizing how much I have been manipulated over the years to take blame for her actions. Didn't even get mad and say anything back other than "please stop being rude".

If only meeting a quality woman was easy. This online thing just isn't working for me in the slightest.

Seriously how the hell do you initiate a conversation with a woman? I am going to do some research if only NEJM would publish in regards to this lol.

Start going to discussion boards for PUA's (pick up artists). Learn it the same way you did with bodybuilding.

You will discover that you can flirt and create sexual tension (IN A FUNNY WAY) with EVERY woman. Once you do this it all becomes routine. You can go talk to the HOT woman and make her laugh the same way you do with random women at work whom you have no sexual interest in.

...BUT if you build it up in your head as an "approach" or a "pick up" or "gotta get her number" you will put too much pressure on yourself that can be avoided if you just learn to flirt with all of them.

I don't care if you don't like bars. Go there and Learn how to work the room. The things I've learned about women from bouncing in a bar has greatly improved my skillset. Plus you make friends with hot chicks and you learn that women only want what other women want, so you NEED to be a man of value that is wanted by other women, and envied by other men.

You will soon see how shallow your ex is when you are talking to 3 hot women whom are laughing and love being around you and your ex all of a sudden jumps back into your life.

 

[Myck]

Imagine the hot chick you are about to approach doing somethin like for example taking a shit

Haha...excellent!

 

[osiris]

Chris,

bro, you just signed up on the dating sight late last week. Finding a sutiable mate doesn't happen according to your time schedule. You need to relax and let life happen. You need to learn to be ok with yourself and enjoy some alone time. If you want sex, well thats understandable. Go to some random ass bar(prefereably white trash), walk in and take some random girl home. I am sure you can make that happebn, most likely one or more will come up to you. Don't fall in love.

Give yourself some time with finding a girl. Develop some hobbies. You liked the Hawking book, i always met very interesting women at Borders Books and barnes and nobles. I would go and read there, enjoy some coffee and always end up meeting people ( i am definitely not the cutest....rather troll-like honestly ). just start smiling to everyone you talk to, talk to everyone(gas station attendants, cashiers, clerks at store....everyone). You will find that forcing conversation in the beginning with random people will help you along the way with being more confident with talking about random people(women). It will also give you the appearance of being a confident, happy, self-assured person.

I wish you the best luck bro, but you are going to have a hard time with finding a great woman until you are ok with spending time by yourself. You gotta love you before you can love someone else.

 

[wrought]

It sounds pathetic but when your in a relationship for long enough and told that your a piece of shit for this and that daily you end up starting to believe it. I can think logically and know I have alot to offer, but my emotional views of myself after the past 5-6 years of relationships is extremely low. I don't know if that makes sense at all.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side either man, you wouldn't want to trade places with me. It sounds nice to say but I am in the fortunate position to have all the monetary wealth I will ever need (family + personal), but I would trade it all without thinking for a good social circle of people that actually cared about me and a decent woman. I literally know no one. The only numbers in my phone are my ex and a few girls i've met that I have literally zero interest in.

I was in the exact same situation about 1.5 years ago...I split with my wife (who pounded those same ideas into my head too), was in a city I did not know, and hadn't had a real friend in almost a decade...was not fun, but was way better than being stuck suffering in an unfixable relationship.

Women are not the hard part bro, the women will come, lots of them if you want it that way...so you will find somebody, BUT the hard part will be not becoming emotionally invested in that rebound relationship. I'm not saying don't get a girlfriend or just go fuck everything that moves, just take the time to figure yourself out and refocus what your true goals in life are. The counselling will help big time and you're going to come out of this much stronger. If I had to do it over again I'd have taken a lot more time off spending time on myself instead of jumping into a rebound (no matter how hot she is).

....and what the other guys said about online dating...DON'T MENTION THE GYM, BB'ING, OR POWERLIFTING....just don't fucking do it. Its dating suicide because the whole thing is based on kneejerk reaction and instant judgement. Be funny, be a bit of a prick, don't post shirtless pics, write a great profile and then sit back and relax, don't message any of them, wait for them to email you.

 

[EricJ123]

You need to be funny and kind of an ass. Use this link wisely my friend, it will forever change your life and get you laid many times.

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