getting back your ex.

[anarchy]

so i spent most of my life as not the best partner. the worse part's were that i had cheated on my wife twice and was an alcoholic most the time. we were together for 22 years. the last four years, she admitted was good. but she still split because she said all the past she was having a hard time with. she split two years ago. she left in a bad way. i still care for her very much but she says its done. she has let me in her life in little ways. mostly to help her do things she cant. fixing the house and that kind of stuff. this only startd three months ago. i ave taken the blame for all of it. and i should because of the past. but she is my love and i still want to be her mate. yet she is still strong that it is over. she and i have both seen others since the divorce and still are. although we dont speak to eachother about it.
i would do anything to get her back and she knows it although i am not grobbling to her about it all the time. i give her the space she needs. i know it will be up to her to make this decision.
my question is what should i do to get her back? and do you think there is any chance? after all its been two years and she is still saying that we wont.

[EVERLAST]

Originally Posted by anarchy

so i spent most of my life as not the best partner. the worse part's were that i had cheated on my wife twice and was an alcoholic most the time. we were together for 22 years. the last four years, she admitted was good. but she still split because she said all the past she was having a hard time with. she split two years ago. she left in a bad way. i still care for her very much but she says its done. she has let me in her life in little ways. mostly to help her do things she cant. fixing the house and that kind of stuff. this only startd three months ago. i ave taken the blame for all of it. and i should because of the past. but she is my love and i still want to be her mate. yet she is still strong that it is over. she and i have both seen others since the divorce and still are. although we dont speak to eachother about it.
i would do anything to get her back and she knows it although i am not grobbling to her about it all the time. i give her the space she needs. i know it will be up to her to make this decision.
my question is what should i do to get her back? and do you think there is any chance? after all its been two years and she is still saying that we wont.

you should give yourself a gift...
walk away.
she knows how you feel right?
if she is "yours" then nothing you can do CAN fuck it up,
if she's not "yours" then everything you do will.

dude...its been 2 years...
walk away and let her fix her shit herself.

[sadie]

Originally Posted by EVERLAST

you should give yourself a gift...
walk away.
she knows how you feel right?
if she is "yours" then nothing you can do CAN fuck it up,
if she's not "yours" then everything you do will.

dude...its been 2 years...
walk away and let her fix her shit herself.

i almost agreed with your statement..



everyone CAN fuck up.. and sorry OP.. it seems you have.. eventually people grow tired of lies.. cheating.. etc there is just so much "fucking up" a person can take before they walk away... whether shes "yours" or not..

[Nikopapp]

Originally Posted by sadie

i almost agreed with your statement..



everyone CAN fuck up.. and sorry OP.. it seems you have.. eventually people grow tired of lies.. cheating.. etc there is just so much "fucking up" a person can take before they walk away... whether shes "yours" or not..

True.

There is nothing you can do that will change her mind that you haven't already done.

22 years, and only the last 4 were good?

Seriously, heal yourself and move on.

This relationship sounds too damaged to repair, and honestly, it sounds like you just can't get over it because she is "the one that got away".

Take the lesson and try to be a better person and spouse in your next relationship.

[EVERLAST]

Originally Posted by Nikopapp

True.

There is nothing you can do that will change her mind that you haven't already done.

22 years, and only the last 4 were good?

Seriously, heal yourself and move on.

This relationship sounds too damaged to repair, and honestly, it sounds like you just can't get over it because she is "the one that got away".

Take the lesson and try to be a better person and spouse in your next relationship.

thats my point guys...its fucked up beyond all hope therefore...this is not "the one" for him. Else he wouldn't have been an ass for all those years prior to the 4 good ones. If she was his "one" he wouldnt want to f@$%@ that up. Hes just confused now...move on.

[cpesloco]

Originally Posted by EVERLAST

you should give yourself a gift...
walk away.
she knows how you feel right?
if she is "yours" then nothing you can do CAN fuck it up,
if she's not "yours" then everything you do will.

dude...its been 2 years...
walk away and let her fix her shit herself.

perfect except the "if she is "yours" then nothing you can do CAN fuck it up," IMO

She knows you will do anything for her. Your the security blanket in trying times. Time for her wake up. Go do something for someone else.

[marilyn]

Looks like its been said already, now you just have to make your move...for yourself....and yes, it also means she needs to find someone else to fix things....It will be too hard for you to be around her with the wrong expectations everytime.....she's made her feelings clear, too much damage has been done.....so do this for you, move on.

[notsobig32]

Originally Posted by EVERLAST

you should give yourself a gift...
walk away.
she knows how you feel right?
if she is "yours" then nothing you can do CAN fuck it up,
if she's not "yours" then everything you do will.

dude...its been 2 years...
walk away and let her fix her shit herself.

Once again i gotta say everlast hit the nail on the head. OP, i just tried to gt my wife back and it worked good for a few months and things were going great but we could never move past the things that i had done wrong and it wouldf just get her all fired up again. You only remember the good times now and you want those back but there is a reason that YOU acted the way you did when you were married and most times that reason won't change if you go back with her.

If you do manage and get her back, i sincerely wish you the best of luck and i truly hope that you are successful where i was not.=-) Good luck bro.

[muscledoc1]

Sad to hear,i know your feeling-just be strong and back off,only god knows if you'll get her back..

[skulbone]

Ever heard the saying "too much water under the bridge". I'd say this fits. Start over, love yourself, someone will come along, and love you.

[luvingit]

my gf left me nearly two years ago after a 3 year relationship simply because i didn't want to have a family, we didn't see much of each other either i was not da best bf but dats why she left me so in all honesty doubt u stand a shit chance in hell. I'll tell u this much when a woman makes up her mind you aint changing it. I learned a lesson though you have two options as a man be a big player or treat the one you've got like a princess. I aint made up my mind which one i will do yet as woman just suck

[ssdark1]

you have two options as a man be a big player or treat the one you've got like a princess.

...tough choice indeed

[HOTROCKS]

Love never dies ! NEVER !

Love for someone is like a cherry tree.
Nurture it and it will give you an endless supply of cherries .
Neglect it and it will wither .

It is impossible for anyone to make up someone else's mind.
If you feel you still love her then do what you can . Do everything you can to get her back(within reason).
True love doesn't pass through a persons life very often , maybe never for some.
Don't go through the rest of your life with remorse hanging over your head.
If you do you are always going have a piece of your heart cut out and never to return.
Remember this! People never really say what they truly mean when it come to situations like this.
Let me say it this way ...........................
It is a lot simpler to cure an illness if you know the cause.

I'm not convinced that you really know the cause.
For one thing , Quit feeling like it is all your fault. It takes two to Tango .
This self inflicted pining only shows her your weakness.
What all (yes all) women want in a man is to have self confidence,be a provider, have understanding along with a liberal dose of tenderness.
The more you search for love the harder it is to find
Today is the day for you to reinvent who you truly are, maybe find the person she loved long ago .
For what I understand from you story I get the feeling you may have liked yourself better then. I maybe wrong !

Just think about it . You have an opportunity to make a fresh start , a new beginning.
You know what ? You have set yourself up for success anyway it goes.
I believe you will stand a better chance in getting her back than the way you are going about in now.
Even if not you will be a better person than you you are right now.
Again thats my take .

Ten commandments for husbands
Thou shalt not take thy wife for granted, but will honour and respect her as thy equal. (1 Pet 3:7)
Thy highest allegiance, except God, shall be to thy wife, not thy relatives or friends. (Gen 2:24)
Thou shalt frequently tell thy wife how important & valuable she is to thee. (Phil 2:3; Prov 31:10-11)
Thou shalt hold thy wife's love by the same means that thou won it. (Sos 5:10-16)
Thou shalt actively establish family discipline with thy wife's help. (Eph 6:4)
Remember to do all the little things for thy wife when you say you will. (Mt 5:37)
Keep thine eyes on thy own wife, not thy neighbors. (Prov 5:15-20; Job 31:1; Jer 5:8)
Thou shalt make every effort to see things from thy wife's point of view. (Gen 21:12)
Thou shalt not fail to kiss thy wife every morning. (Sos 8:1)
Thou shalt not be stingy with thy wife when it comes to money. (Esther 5:3)

This is a moot point for me.
I for sure would never give up on someone I loved .
I hope that you find away to do what ever it takes to keep you from having a broken heart forever .

[cpesloco]

Originally Posted by HOTROCKS

Love never dies ! NEVER !

Love for someone is like a cherry tree.
Nurture it and it will give you an endless supply of cherries .
Neglect it and it will wither .

It is impossible for anyone to make up someone else's mind.
If you feel you still love her then do what you can . Do everything you can to get her back(within reason).
True love doesn't pass through a persons life very often , maybe never for some.
Don't go through the rest of your life with remorse hanging over your head.
If you do you are always going have a piece of your heart cut out and never to return.
Remember this! People never really say what they truly mean when it come to situations like this.
Let me say it this way ...........................
It is a lot simpler to cure an illness if you know the cause.

I'm not convinced that you really know the cause.
For one thing , Quit feeling like it is all your fault. It takes two to Tango .
This self inflicted pining only shows her your weakness.
What all (yes all) women want in a man is to have self confidence,be a provider, have understanding along with a liberal dose of tenderness.
The more you search for love the harder it is to find
Today is the day for you to reinvent who you truly are, maybe find the person she loved long ago .
For what I understand from you story I get the feeling you may have liked yourself better then. I maybe wrong !

Just think about it . You have an opportunity to make a fresh start , a new beginning.
You know what ? You have set yourself up for success anyway it goes.
I believe you will stand a better chance in getting her back than the way you are going about in now.
Even if not you will be a better person than you you are right now.
Again thats my take .

Ten commandments for husbands
Thou shalt not take thy wife for granted, but will honour and respect her as thy equal. (1 Pet 3:7)
Thy highest allegiance, except God, shall be to thy wife, not thy relatives or friends. (Gen 2:24)
Thou shalt frequently tell thy wife how important & valuable she is to thee. (Phil 2:3; Prov 31:10-11)
Thou shalt hold thy wife's love by the same means that thou won it. (Sos 5:10-16)
Thou shalt actively establish family discipline with thy wife's help. (Eph 6:4)
Remember to do all the little things for thy wife when you say you will. (Mt 5:37)
Keep thine eyes on thy own wife, not thy neighbors. (Prov 5:15-20; Job 31:1; Jer 5:8)
Thou shalt make every effort to see things from thy wife's point of view. (Gen 21:12)
Thou shalt not fail to kiss thy wife every morning. (Sos 8:1)
Thou shalt not be stingy with thy wife when it comes to money. (Esther 5:3)

This is a moot point for me.
I for sure would never give up on someone I loved .
I hope that you find away to do what ever it takes to keep you from having a broken heart forever .

seriously excellent post!

[J4CKT]

Originally Posted by HOTROCKS

Love never dies ! NEVER !

Love for someone is like a cherry tree.
Nurture it and it will give you an endless supply of cherries .
Neglect it and it will wither .

It is impossible for anyone to make up someone else's mind.
If you feel you still love her then do what you can . Do everything you can to get her back(within reason).
True love doesn't pass through a persons life very often , maybe never for some.
Don't go through the rest of your life with remorse hanging over your head.
If you do you are always going have a piece of your heart cut out and never to return.
Remember this! People never really say what they truly mean when it come to situations like this.
Let me say it this way ...........................
It is a lot simpler to cure an illness if you know the cause.

I'm not convinced that you really know the cause.
For one thing , Quit feeling like it is all your fault. It takes two to Tango .
This self inflicted pining only shows her your weakness.
What all (yes all) women want in a man is to have self confidence,be a provider, have understanding along with a liberal dose of tenderness.
The more you search for love the harder it is to find
Today is the day for you to reinvent who you truly are, maybe find the person she loved long ago .
For what I understand from you story I get the feeling you may have liked yourself better then. I maybe wrong !

Just think about it . You have an opportunity to make a fresh start , a new beginning.
You know what ? You have set yourself up for success anyway it goes.
I believe you will stand a better chance in getting her back than the way you are going about in now.
Even if not you will be a better person than you you are right now.
Again thats my take .

Ten commandments for husbands
Thou shalt not take thy wife for granted, but will honour and respect her as thy equal. (1 Pet 3:7)
Thy highest allegiance, except God, shall be to thy wife, not thy relatives or friends. (Gen 2:24)
Thou shalt frequently tell thy wife how important & valuable she is to thee. (Phil 2:3; Prov 31:10-11)
Thou shalt hold thy wife's love by the same means that thou won it. (Sos 5:10-16)
Thou shalt actively establish family discipline with thy wife's help. (Eph 6:4)
Remember to do all the little things for thy wife when you say you will. (Mt 5:37)
Keep thine eyes on thy own wife, not thy neighbors. (Prov 5:15-20; Job 31:1; Jer 5:8)
Thou shalt make every effort to see things from thy wife's point of view. (Gen 21:12)
Thou shalt not fail to kiss thy wife every morning. (Sos 8:1)
Thou shalt not be stingy with thy wife when it comes to money. (Esther 5:3)

This is a moot point for me.
I for sure would never give up on someone I loved .
I hope that you find away to do what ever it takes to keep you from having a broken heart forever .

Wow - Awesome!

[EVERLAST]

When I re-read this post by HOTROCKS above
it gets better.

You have something there man...good post!

[SecondAct]

Been there, it's over. The die is cast and you need to walk away. Women are much better at that then men. They will stay with you through a tremendous amount of shit, but when that switch flips, it's over.