B-boy,
Im going to tell this to you, and you'll probably bash me (in a good way) because, everything you said about me is very true...
Everytime, I get it in my head that Im going to do a show (at least for the past 3-4 years) I start doing everything I need to do right (eating, training, ect,ect) It's when I have a set goal in my head, that's when I start making progress in the gym..And it's like overnight, I mean you can see me change almost workout by workout (fitSarah see's this happen's right before her eye's) I'll start at the same bodyweight like I have been for the past few years (around 245lbs, in ok decent shape, but far from my best) then within a month I'll be a hard (not contest ready) 235-238lbs within a month from now...(Im dieting down for the ON/ABB Photo shoots, at Jr.nats - See my GOAL) Then after 8 weeks from now, I'll be a close to contest ready 228-232lbs (well within 4-8lbs of contest weight)...It's been like that for a few years now, the offseason for me just doesnt do it for me anymore...IDK ??? My offseason for the past few years, have been more crappy workouts, and dealing with other life problems (that I dont want to deal with when I get ready for shows) So its just a revolving circle for me, every year...I still want to compete at a higher level now, but honestly its not as important to me as when I was in my mid twenty's...Plus, I feel like I would have to up my supersupplments to a higher level to compete as a superheavy...Everytime I do try to do that, I feel horriable, and get headaches, ect, ect...I dont know if my genetics wont allow me to up my doses on my supplements, but for some reason it just seems to make me feel like crap (healthwise, doesnt bother me mentally)...So I guess, im just going to focus on being more consistant with training, and eating...Do moderate doses of supplements, and see what happens...Honestly, right now, at this point in my life im very happy, so I'll just let things fall where they want...
EDIT - Also, when I stop to think about it to, when I got with Sarah a few years ago, and had gracey...The importance of bodybuilding fell down my list a little bit...Not that I dont want to be a pro anymore (trust me I do) its just hard to find the right balance of being a great father, husband and to compete on the national level is a hard balance to find...I wouldve never said this 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago...But hearing, "Daddy come look at me," means so much more to me than winning a national title...But, still in the back of my mind I want both things, that damn national title and my little girl, and sarah there to see me do it...Arrrgggghhhh, it can be fustrating at times...LOL !!!
chris