You have a great deal of maturing to do.
Yes, I thought you were a kid, like maybe 12.
Why would it take you five solid HONKIES take care of business?! Are you not an army of one, a WARRIOR? You strike me as someone who never fights alone, but only in a group,.....dude.
Take your hand picked HONKIES down to a BJJ gym, I assure you there's one close by, and test yourselves. I'm sure you'd be very surprised.
Seriously, just you, all by yourself with an iPhone friend, drop by one day and test yourself. All gyms have open mat where anyone can drop by, sign a waiver and throw down.
After training two to three days a week at two gyms for five years, and compete in tournaments, I'm still a beginner in a sport where it can take 15 years of steady training to earn a black belt.
Now before you go all keyboard Rambo on me, let me reiterate from an earlier post, that I'm not a tuff guy. I'm not going to meet you anywhere, you or anyone else, as I'm not an anger fighter. I compete for sport and competition.
I'm unassuming, and you'd never take a second look at me in a bar. Most of the toughest guys in the gym are the weakest looking. We don't wear fight apparel other than the gyms we train in and the tournaments that we compete in.
Please post up a video of your open mat experience.