I've been nonstop circumstantial changes as of late which is why my presence on the boards has been nearly nonexistent lately... and then I got a text with the news of Q shortly after it occured... which caused me to stay even further away from the boards...
I'm not going to sit here and act like me and Q were best friends. Hell, we never even met outside of the boards. But we were certainly friends, and he had an impact on my life that I will personally be thankful for the rest of my life.
For me personally, Q was by far one of the most influential guys that this life of bodybuilding has blessed me with. I can also say he saved my life. Truly. Saved my life.
At first it was just the fact that we were both tall trying to fill out our lanky frames. He was always giving me praise and motivation to keep fighting the fight and not give up. He gave me insight into his methods and passed knowledge that I will never forget. Supps, diet, training. Anything I ever asked about he willingly shared freely with me.
He opened up and shared his similar rough past with me when I was going through by far the worst time of my entire life. He gave me hope that things will surely turn around when I had lost all hope... And they surely surely have.
We shared many good laughs when Phil was in his prime of bashing (Phil I love you man) and after making peace with concrete, decided to target and to constantly put me, Q, and JJ on blast literally just about every single post we put up lol. For a while, we were Phil's go to trio. I enjoyed the hell out of it. Made this place feel like home. Never a dull moment.
Q introduced me to Kratom, at a time in my life when I was being completely reckless, addicted to painkillers, anxiety medication and doing honestly anything I could get my hands on. I was so so lost. Had it not been for Q telling me about Kratom, and then selling me 6 kilos of product (lol) I'm positive I would have been found dead within the next 10 years. Do I still have my temptations, hell yes. Who doesnt. But I truly no longer desire those things that I once called a daily reality... And not only is this true for me, but also for my best friend. Q was the reason we turned our drug induced lives around. Without him, I would not be in the positive place I am now. I am forever grateful for this man...
Q got caught up, he did exactly what we all would have done given the circumstances. He made some mistakes along this brutal lifestyle that we call bodybuilding. But this is where I have the most respect for him. He put the 100% truth of it all out there for everyone to read. He humbled himself and admitted to things that most would NEVER say. Some of the things that it took him personally to get to the highest level that he did. Things he was ashamed of. Things he regretted. He blatantly told us all that it may have been to late and to not make the same mistakes that he made along the way. He put specifics out for everyone and told us all that he wouldn't do it again. He took his mistakes and spun it around for anyone who wanted it. And unfortunately I know that it fell on blind eyes for the majority that read his most recent posts (mostly found on his board, some very good posts on here as well), but Q, for me it didnt... And brother, I cant thank you enough.
I wish I would have told you all of this while you were still around my man because I'm sure you would have no idea at all what kind of impact you've had on me.
Miss Q, I'm praying for you everyday... I cant express how sorry I am for your loss. Bert was an amazing man and will be missed so much. Please take some comfort in knowing that because of Bert's presence on the boards, he positively changed the lives of others. I know I'm not the only one.