G/f not into fitness lifestyle

[Pumped Up Ya]

Fitness is my passion and my life..I couldnt imagine being wh someone who doesnt share personal interests. As a woman my only advice would be to start off small wh exercises you can do together ie walking, biking etc. Try to start eating healthier and make cooking healthy meals a fun time together. Once she starts to lose weight she'll feel better then you can motivate her to get in the gym!

I agree showing her in small steps like just cooking a simple healthy meal and showing her its fun slowly is the way to go good advice

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[raw33man]

how did you get attracted to her in the first place ???

is she the same or was she skinny before but now is fat ?

 

[BIG-D123]

That's a good question Raw.....

 

[CYPHON]

Be straight up with her. I was in the exact situation. I told my girl I loved her and that her fitness was important to me and that I would like if she included a more healthy lifestyle into her daily routine....

She agreed to do light to moderate workouts and eat better. She lost 30lb's her first two months and became a fitness addict like me....Well not exactly like me lol but she ended up loving the way she looked and felt.

Be honest with her.

 

[RONJON]

Be straight up with her. I was in the exact situation. I told my girl I loved her and that her fitness was important to me and that I would like if she included a more healthy lifestyle into her daily routine....

She agreed to do light to moderate workouts and eat better. She lost 30lb's her first two months and became a fitness addict like me....Well not exactly like me lol but she ended up loving the way she looked and felt.

Be honest with her.

haha bro i tried that and it sure as hell worked the opposite way..she is a bit stubborn lol ..good for you bro :headbang:

 

[Barbie81]

How would you feel if she wanted to change you?..Think about it..Sometimes people change for others and you might not like that person as much, if she got to where you want her to be and and your still not happy, what then?? I think the only thing that needs changing is your thoughts just be happy. x

 

[El.Alezandro]

haha bro i tried that and it sure as hell worked the opposite way..she is a bit stubborn lol ..good for you bro :headbang:

Barbie writes a wise message! Don't try to change someone. Try to accept her as she is and she will be thankful and happy. And who knows what other reaction could the happy women give)

 

[OuchThatHurts]

How would you feel if she wanted to change you?..Think about it..Sometimes people change for others and you might not like that person as much, if she got to where you want her to be and and your still not happy, what then?? I think the only thing that needs changing is your thoughts just be happy. x

Or she may make these changes and come to resent him for it. It wouldn't be the first time.

 

[richiec]

How would you feel if she wanted to change you?..Think about it..Sometimes people change for others and you might not like that person as much, if she got to where you want her to be and and your still not happy, what then?? I think the only thing that needs changing is your thoughts just be happy. x

Barbie, you make extremely valid points. I will add one BUT, if you are not physically attracted to your partner anymore, the problems that can arise from that are very bad. It shouldn't all be about what one looks like, but physical attraction is very important in a relationship, would you agree? I am very fortunate that somehow my wife finds me attractive. If I became a fat(ter) slob, I don't know how she would react, but if she was not physically attracted I could understand.

It obviously has to be done for personal reasons

 

[sammy555]

How would you feel if she wanted to change you?..Think about it..Sometimes people change for others and you might not like that person as much, if she got to where you want her to be and and your still not happy, what then?? I think the only thing that needs changing is your thoughts just be happy. x

This his the nail on the head for me. I hate seeing people try to change there partner.If someone tries to change me there out the door. By the same token if I feel I need to change someone there not right for me and I don't attempt to. I didn't like the fact my ex smoked but she didn't like the fact I took gear so she smoked out side and I didn't inject in front of her. We were honest about the fact we didn't intend to change out ways and we both respected that and it worked well. Maybe not that well because she's now my ex lol but they was more due to me having a far to short attention span when it comes to relationships. I do understand wanting your wife or girlfriend to be healthier but when I'm shooting gear, eating a lot more than humans are supposed to and somewhat over weight even of it is mostly muscle I feel a bit hypercritcal lecturing some one on heath

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[seymorebunz]

I'll give you my opinion which starts with not making her feel anything negative like guilt or jealousy and not slipping her any drugs. She's not a overweight pet.

There is a trade-off between smart and confident women because they no longer feel any terrible compulsion to look like a barbie doll and often rather go for comfort over looks (function over form). You almost cannot expect a deep and thoughtful woman (or a man) to really give two shits about something as superficial as outward appearance (which is doomed to fail anyway).

Health, strength, and longevity is another factor. Those can be logically justified in anyone's mind no matter how intelligent and down to earth the person is. That is the angle I would try to stress. NOT as a way to make her thinner or better looking but more SO THAT YOU CAN ENJOY EACH OTHER LONGER and to the fullest.

Try not to dehumanize her because that will always blow up in your face and don't try to "play" her because she's likely more intelligent than you and will end up playing you by doing the same things to you that you are doing to her to illustrate HER point.

To be honest, I have no idea what this girl looks like but anyone would be a little envious to have such a confident, loving, and loyal woman at his side.

Maybe count your blessings on this one Jack.

^^Best advice right here

 

[Barbie81]

Barbie, you make extremely valid points. I will add one BUT, if you are not physically attracted to your partner anymore, the problems that can arise from that are very bad. It shouldn't all be about what one looks like, but physical attraction is very important in a relationship, would you agree? I am very fortunate that somehow my wife finds me attractive. If I became a fat(ter) slob, I don't know how she would react, but if she was not physically attracted I could understand.

It obviously has to be done for personal reasons

I dont know if he has mentioned her appearence when they met..im pretty sure he was attracted to her as she is...its just he wants her to be more into fitness?? I could suggest swapping chocolate bars for protien bars an lots of sex ...better? x

 

[CYPHON]

I dont know if he has mentioned her appearence when they met..im pretty sure he was attracted to her as she is...its just he wants her to be more into fitness?? I could suggest swapping chocolate bars for protien bars an lots of sex ...better? x

Amen! lol

 

[RONJON]

I've been with my g/f for a bit over three years. She's fantastic... I've never gotten along better with anyone in my life, we've never even had an argument that I can think of. I absolutely love every second I spend with her, I've never not looked forward to being with her.

My only issue is that while she's not obese or anything, she's really pushing the weight limit.... I mean, she's overweight. And I feel like an ass for saying it but honestly, speaking to a group of guys here, you all know how it is.... I mean visual attraction does play some part. It's tough because her sisters and cousins are all smoking hot and in great shape and I feel bad but I can't help but check them out.

I've been with really hot women before, who unfortunately were just shallow, one-dimensional and boring. And to be honest, I'd much rather have what I have now than go back to what I had before, no contest.... but I'm a guy and I do have those cravings.

To cut to the chase.... I'm sticking with her, she's an amazing woman. I'm just wondering if there's any hope of me converting her to be more fit.... she's actually really attractive but she puts no effort, no matter how much I try she just likes to eat junk and wear baggy t-shirts etc.

The usual answer I get is to take her to the gym with me.... this is where I want a bodybuilders opinion b/c as some of you know, many of us don't actually spend much time in the gym. I'm a 3-day a week "Team Skip"/DC guy so that doesn't leave much.

Should I just let it rest? Have any of you been in this situation? I keep trying to make it about me, and having her weigh out my meals etc. so MAYBE she'll somehow just fall into the habit out of routine but I'm thinking it's a lost cause and maybe I should just let it be. Does it make me a bad person that I love her but I wish she would take more pride in her appearance?

I'll be honest bro I don't agree with it "not being a big deal" and that you need to just "deal with it"
Obviously it is a big deal to you or you wouldn't have brought it here and asked for advice. At the end of the day YOU are the only one living your life and it doesn't matter what other people tell you. Lay your cards on the table and let her know how you feel ..not in an asshole way ..and i guarantee you you'll be better off than holding onto negative emotion and resentment bro. Good luck

 

[richiec]

I dont know if he has mentioned her appearence when they met..im pretty sure he was attracted to her as she is...its just he wants her to be more into fitness?? I could suggest swapping chocolate bars for protien bars an lots of sex ...better? x

This is true, he never mentioned what she looked like in the beginning of the relationship. He only said she's gained weight. If he simply wants her to eat better for health reasons then I'm all for it. For vanity reasons, relationship will never last. Swapping the bars is a good idea, or looking up paleo type recipes. The wife and I have made some freaking killer desserts paleo style. People don't realize you can eat "bad" while eating "good". It just takes effort

 

[hvwchamp]

bro I'm in the same boat right now and I'm thinking of telling her straight up if you want us to be together I need you to put some effort into your appearance. I've said things before but she always just blames it on school or something. I'm in school, work, and hit the gym twice a day so thats just lazyness and im getting fed up! If you guys have been together that long she probably doesnt wanna lose you and will probably listen more than you think.

 

[richiec]

bro I'm in the same boat right now and I'm thinking of telling her straight up if you want us to be together I need you to put some effort into your appearance. I've said things before but she always just blames it on school or something. I'm in school, work, and hit the gym twice a day so thats just lazyness and im getting fed up! If you guys have been together that long she probably doesnt wanna lose you and will probably listen more than you think.

Something that all of you guys need to realize is that women do care about their appearance, but most don't care enough to the point of weighing out their food, doing 1hr of cardio a day, going to the gym for and hour after work/school, taking hormones to assist. They care what they look like, but most feel that as long as they aren't falling out of their pants they're ok. Some women are very conscious about how they look and dedicated a lot of time to the gym and eating healthy and everything that goes along with it. I have a feeling that many guys complaining about their girls being out of shape would start threads about their girls being obsessed in the gym too. If you are going to talk to her about it, make sure that it isn't a vanity thing, because that's where you lose her. It has to be about health, and once she starts losing weight, she will probably continue in the fitness lifestyle.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

I dont know if he has mentioned her appearence when they met..im pretty sure he was attracted to her as she is...its just he wants her to be more into fitness?? I could suggest swapping chocolate bars for protien bars an lots of sex ...better? x

Yeah but this is coming from a superficial chic. You love attention and you want to be visually admired but a confident, smart woman simply just doesn't need that... or care for that matter. But if push comes to shove, I'm taking the confident girl and not the girl that can't stop thinking what everyone thinks of her appearance outwardly.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

bro I'm in the same boat right now and I'm thinking of telling her straight up if you want us to be together I need you to put some effort into your appearance. I've said things before but she always just blames it on school or something. I'm in school, work, and hit the gym twice a day so thats just lazyness and im getting fed up! If you guys have been together that long she probably doesnt wanna lose you and will probably listen more than you think.

Awful. You're sending the message to her that if she doesn't become more attractive, you won't love her. I see a breakup in your near future, if not by the time I posted this.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Something that all of you guys need to realize is that women do care about their appearance, but most don't care enough to the point of weighing out their food, doing 1hr of cardio a day, going to the gym for and hour after work/school, taking hormones to assist. They care what they look like, but most feel that as long as they aren't falling out of their pants they're ok. Some women are very conscious about how they look and dedicated a lot of time to the gym and eating healthy and everything that goes along with it. I have a feeling that many guys complaining about their girls being out of shape would start threads about their girls being obsessed in the gym too. If you are going to talk to her about it, make sure that it isn't a vanity thing, because that's where you lose her. It has to be about health, and once she starts losing weight, she will probably continue in the fitness lifestyle.

Well said. I'll even go further. The type of girl that would become visually more attractive to please a man? She's going to want to please MEN. Get that? Plural, men. You'll have a hot girl but guess what, so will a few other guys...