As I sit here typing this with aggressive stage-4 bladder cancer and the knowledge that my chances of still being here in a few years are pretty much nonexsistant, I came to a decision. That decision was to continue being who I am and doing what makes me happy. And part of that equation is that I’m still hitting the gym and doing what I need to do to make that enjoyable. I’d rather have one happy year, rather than two empty years just scratching to hang on. I am using my head. But I’m not crawling into a corner and just waiting either. I’m staying positive and I believe the body follows the mind to a large degree.
I always knew I would not live forever. Until my cancer happened, that reality was in the fuzzy future. But, when the reality of your limited mortality is staring at you right in your face, you think very hard about what you want to do while you can still do it.
None of us here are assured of standing on firm ground. We don’t control it, despite our wishful thinking. Its a nice thought though, it makes us feel empowered. Life does not happen that way. Unforseen things happen. Good and bad. No exceptions. Might as well make it one you can smile about in the end. I’m not fatalistic. I do think we are all part of something bigger. I just don’t think we are knowledable enough to ask the right questions yet.
So I say, good for you CG… and good for you that you have a passion and being true to yourself. I pity the person that does not live life with a passion. What an empty glass that is.
I think often when facing death you really find out if you WANT to live...
I find irony in some of this...
there have been times in my life when I genuinely wanted to die. that feeling brought me to some strange places... I have pushed the envelope in many ways as I just didn't care what happened, sometimes doing stupid shit just for fun, just to push it, just to see how far things could go.
while I did these things intentionally, the intentions where not always well thought out. lol
maybe after in many cases, looking back I was able to learn a lot form what could be viewed as mistakes, really they weren't that, they were 100% pre motivated planned out and intentional at least at the time and, I probably thought they were a "good" idea. lol
I think people could probably apply that mentality to aspects of what is being discussed as pertains to this life style and health.
I guess the longer I live the longer I WANT to keep on living, that isn't to say I am scared to die, I have long made my peace with that, again sometimes facing the potential of not living is a very motivating living factor, I try not to push it so much anymore but in some ways im just pre programed that way...
I talk a lot about health stuff here but I am not a person who obsesses on health in any way.
much of my motivation is really superficial in that I do this so I can look good and feel good about myself and be a great version of me, years back when learning about all these drugs we use I learned ways to counter side effects. pretty normal, ai's and such. then we look at things like what can we do to stay on all these drugs longer while staying healthy, because in order to train you NEED to be healthy. it just made sense after learning all this and realizing that ill never be good enough to compete at a pro level to figure out the way to be able to continue the longest with all this and at some point not rely in drugs for size. idk, I lost my train of thought a little... lol
I just figure, I have done so much bad shit to myself that I can try and do some things to counter that. thinking outside the box a little and not accepting traditional methods has helped a lot too.
live and learn my friends, but really KEEP LEARNING from LIVING!
.gif "IP Gear")
