life support......

[cheloz28]

Big fan of this board just hardly post any information.
I've been feeling like such a loser because I'm in my late twenty's and don't have a career yet. Going to get married in a couple of months and feel that we will struggle financially with my current dead end job. My fiancée has tried to reassure me that it doesn't matter how much I make. I was unemployed for year and after sending my resume to so many places, I finally snagged a job. I know that I should be happy to even have one but I find myself always beating myself up over it. I often compare myself to other friends who seem to have great jobs. I would like to live in Orange County but have no luck in finding a job out there. The closer my wedding date is the more pressure I put on myself.

 

[Iabadman]

And some of you guys should research our brother big c [ I posted my feelings about the man in a recent thread of his......I think it was about a month ago that I posted about this man .....it would be worth checking out .....seriously ] Big c makes me so proud and happy that I just smile when I think of him.....Yes , I personally know him for many yrs [he worked for me , rebuilt a car for me , was a friend , as well as a man I just respected].....now we live 1500 miles or apart ....but I d be there for him in a minute should he ever ask .....He is one amazing solid dude plain and simple .....

Bybon.....I am Italian ...sun dinner starts at 4:30 pm and ends around 7 pm ......that is beautiful way for families to stay close and bond with out a doubt[actually neighborhoods should do sundays together .....think for that one ].....and small town life is great if you stay away from drugs and alcohol .....you seem like you have a loving kind humble perspective ......good for you ....stay that way

 

[BYBON]

Big fan of this board just hardly post any information.
I've been feeling like such a loser because I'm in my late twenty's and don't have a career yet. Going to get married in a couple of months and feel that we will struggle financially with my current dead end job. My fiancée has tried to reassure me that it doesn't matter how much I make. I was unemployed for year and after sending my resume to so many places, I finally snagged a job. I know that I should be happy to even have one but I find myself always beating myself up over it. I often compare myself to other friends who seem to have great jobs. I would like to live in Orange County but have no luck in finding a job out there. The closer my wedding date is the more pressure I put on myself.

First off you're not a loser. Secondly, tell your fiancee how you feel, much like you have said in your post. She'll give you that good kick in the ass when you need it, and that shoulder when you need it.

Bust your ass in work like you would the gym. If a good career is ultimately your goal, do whatever is necessary to reach that goal-work more than one job. Talk to different people to put your foot in doors. Work the aforementioned jobs to provide funding for school if a degree is required.

Do not put limits on yourself-I know there are jobs out there but a lot of guys limit themselves as to WHAT KIND of work they do. If you have fear of making it financially, stop being picky with the choice of job. This could mean your current job with your second job being McDonald's. I must state that I don't know how your job market is; just going by what I see-just don't limit yourself.


Good luck man, and remember-do not put limits on yourself and bust your ass. It will pay off.

 

[BYBON]

Bybon.....I am Italian ...sun dinner starts at 4:30 pm and ends around 7 pm ......that is beautiful way for families to stay close and bond with out a doubt[actually neighborhoods should do sundays together .....think for that one ].....and small town life is great if you stay away from drugs and alcohol .....you seem like you have a loving kind humble perspective ......good for you ....stay that way

Awesome that you're Italian, do you have any non-family secret pasta sauce recipes? I could use another for my lasagna. That's pretty cool that you and I are alike in the family aspect, just instead of Italian, we're all Southern here.

You hit the nail on the head about the small town part; there are literally some old unused railroad tracks that separate the town, and the other side of the tracks are where all the druggies and shit stay. Definitely agree with staying away with drugs and drunkenness. My wife just poured me some more bourbon and coke, though. She knows I won't get drunk though.

I have the perspective I have due to my grandmother pretty much raising me. Born in 1918, she survived the Great Depression and food riot in this town. Taught me a lot, brother.

Thanks for the help!

 

[alfresco]

alfresco.....just remember what you have been enduring is not real ......it is your mind playing tricks on you and manisfesting in a physical manner........through this understanding and the use of breath control ......and simple auto -focus or meditation you can conquer this anxiety .......I promise .....you may want to look into simple hypnosis as well ......you need to create trigger that when you start drifting out of the moment that you will be able to breath through ,clear your mind , and find the presant once again ......I believe for you at this time .....these techniques should be the number one focus in your life .....and I have no doubt if you trust my words and go for it you will defeate this once and for all I have zero doubts ......not at all .....it will be just like training ....you will have to work hard , be consist , have vision , and take the pain .....but if you do my friend .....you will get your life back and be free of this .....promise !!!.......Btw thanks for sharing your beautiful pics with me .....not are you talented and smart .....but you are amazing kind loving person that I am glad that I crosses paths with .......not get serious bro .....kick this things butt.....it isn't not real ....fear is something that hasn't happened yet ......fuck fear !!!.....Be YOU !!!.....love ya ....be well ....live better

Jason, thanks for the quick reply. I am pursuing that path and I believe your words.
I know we talked that; you relating your thoughts on how we are different from
animals, I remember our conversations very well.

Over the course of the last few weeks, I have been supporting Lisa on her quest to
finish the Pacific Crest Trail (about 700 miles to go . . .), and during this journey we
saw a bumper that really resonated with me. It read “Don’t believe everything you think.”
I just love that.

 

[alfresco]

Big fan of this board just hardly post any information.
I've been feeling like such a loser because I'm in my late twenty's and don't have a career yet. Going to get married in a couple of months and feel that we will struggle financially with my current dead end job. My fiancée has tried to reassure me that it doesn't matter how much I make. I was unemployed for year and after sending my resume to so many places, I finally snagged a job. I know that I should be happy to even have one but I find myself always beating myself up over it. I often compare myself to other friends who seem to have great jobs. I would like to live in Orange County but have no luck in finding a job out there. The closer my wedding date is the more pressure I put on myself.

cheloz28,

Don’t get discouraged. Not everybody develops at the same pace. Perhaps
you have something in the “incubator” that takes longer to develop. I too an
the “bread winner” in the family. Once I embraced it (sounds like you have a
supportive wife like I do . . ) it can take the pressure off. Ask yourself, what
would you do if you knew you would not fail? Now, go do it. Find a way to
do it. If you do what you love and love what you do, you will be successful.
I will not be work, it will be your passion and you will succeed. I have funny
saying (not funny HaHa, but funny interesting) and that is, “you are unique, just
like everybody else.” Now go find your place and make the most of it.

Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I have been on the road a lot, and when
doing so, I listen to audio books. My wife suggest a book called The Art of
Racing in the Rain, by Garth Stein (and written from a dogs perspective). Its
a fun book that has some metaphors I found useful at this time in my life. Two
of which I will mention here: one is "The car goes where the eyes go" and the
other is "That which we manifest is before us.”

As the authors says . . . “We are the creators of our own destiny. Be it through
intention or ignorance, our successes and our failures have been brought on
by none other than ourselves."

This may sound scary to some, but once embraced, it can be liberating. Again,
much like was said in the book . . . you go where your eyes go.

 

[Iabadman]

Cheloz28.........My pal Alfresco .......gave you excellant advice .......I want to commend you first,for getting a job during these hard times, and second ,wanting more for yourself and your soon to be wife [ she is a lucky gal ] .

Like I said earlier ......successful people have a clear vision of want they want .....they write it down ....they vizualize it everyday ....and they work to achieve what they want .....I think you need ...to ask yourself .....some questions? What do you like to do ? [ can you make money at that?] What are your skills or talents? What would you like to do ? [do your talents match ?] Also realise that your work ethic and the way you carry yourself matters......If right now your skills ,training ,or education don't match your desires ,then be the best you can be at any job you may have ......if you work at mc donalds bust ass .....become a shift leader ....then an assistant manager .....then a manager [ along the way if you want or need schooling bust ass to get it .....if you really want something you can and will get it if you want it bad enough] Learn how things work at your job ....cover shifts ....smile and be positive [even if your job sucks ....be the diamond in the pile shit so to speak ] Like I said opportunity will come if you want , work , and deserve it ..........Work on posture ....speak .....the tone of your voice ....be pleasant and work hard everyday [even when tired or not in the mood ] If you become someone that is respectable and employable then you will get opportunity .....If you do this and become this ....you will see what I mean ......you wife will see it ....your co workers will it .......and others perspective employers will see it ........all my best .....but if you want orange co and a good life and family ......it is going take the transformation I am talking about .......I think you are up for the task .....so get on it the next time you go to work ......also women need a man with direction and strength .....so let go of your past , fears , or doubts ......just be a good respectable hard working person that puts his best into everything he does each day from now on .....what your life change bro ......it will .....promise

 

[bloodshed]

I could use some advice. My family has been going through an extremely hard time the last couple of months. I had been trying to focus on school for the last couple of years (i'm in my early 20's) so I hadn't been working. Starting back in november my dad started getting cuts in his pay (he was making about 144,00+ a year) while his health and energy was declining. In may he entered the hospital, and had a complete system failure. Everything shut down. He was in a coma on life support for about 3 months. During this time his income dropped to his disability checks, which were supporting a family of 5. He is home now and recovering extremely well, however he still can't work. Now im in the situation where I need to work to help support my family, but I don't want to settle for something like mcdonalds, or some dead end job. However I am having a hard time thinking of any industries that I can get into with little previous experience, as the only jobs I have worked in the past were as a cook and personal trainer, and without having my degree yet. I am thinking I could go into the clothing industry like my dad was in, Ive been around it my entire life, however I'm just not sure how to get in at this point. Has anybody been in a similar situation, or have any insight as to how I could help pull my family and myself out of this rut? i was thinking somehow getting into real estate, but how practical would that be in this market?

 

[nhmuscles]

BigChef

So sorry about your mother. I hope and pray she recovers. My father past away from cancer a little over three years ago. One thing to remember is your mother is still the same person she has always been, same like/dislikes, same sense of humor, same wants and needs......as hard as this is for everyone, try to continue to be yourself also.
Though this may be the saddest event you have yet encountered, it doesnt have to be the saddest time in your life. I can honestly tell you that the three weeks my father spent in hospice care were some of my fondest memories of spending time with him. We still laughed, bullshitted, teased eachother etc. We still celebrated his birthday, bought gifts, ordered dinner and even shared a scotch just days before his passing. I think my family was always incredibly close and yet I still remember hanging out and laughing more in those few weeks than in entire years in the past.
One last thing that somebody else touched on.....say everything you want to say......don't put yourself in position to regret not telling her one last time how special she is to you..

 

[BYBON]

I could use some advice. My family has been going through an extremely hard time the last couple of months. I had been trying to focus on school for the last couple of years (i'm in my early 20's) so I hadn't been working. Starting back in november my dad started getting cuts in his pay (he was making about 144,00+ a year) while his health and energy was declining. In may he entered the hospital, and had a complete system failure. Everything shut down. He was in a coma on life support for about 3 months. During this time his income dropped to his disability checks, which were supporting a family of 5. He is home now and recovering extremely well, however he still can't work. Now im in the situation where I need to work to help support my family, but I don't want to settle for something like mcdonalds, or some dead end job. However I am having a hard time thinking of any industries that I can get into with little previous experience, as the only jobs I have worked in the past were as a cook and personal trainer, and without having my degree yet. I am thinking I could go into the clothing industry like my dad was in, Ive been around it my entire life, however I'm just not sure how to get in at this point. Has anybody been in a similar situation, or have any insight as to how I could help pull my family and myself out of this rut? i was thinking somehow getting into real estate, but how practical would that be in this market?

At a time like that, I think it would be best to swallow your pride and work whatever comes your way, including flipping burgers. Granted, let's say you get a shitty Mcjob. While there, keep your eyes and ears open and look for something better.

Your family will love you to death for stepping up and busting ass for the family.

Good luck man, and good luck with school when you can get back to it.

 

[bloodshed]

At a time like that, I think it would be best to swallow your pride and work whatever comes your way, including flipping burgers. Granted, let's say you get a shitty Mcjob. While there, keep your eyes and ears open and look for something better.

Your family will love you to death for stepping up and busting ass for the family.

Good luck man, and good luck with school when you can get back to it.

That probably is best. Im just worried that the same would happen to me as did a bunch of my friends, and get given such hours that I couldn't find anything else if I wanted to.

 

[Iabadman]

First of all I think it is important to realize that your father is recovering ......I am so happy for you , him and your family .......nothing more valuable than ones health .[because with out that you can't be free to love ,help , or support anyone........]

Second , you are being a man and it sounds like this is your test to step up .....you can do this is you want it bad enough ......there I plenty of young single moms that have had kids , worked one or two jobs , and survived going on to become successful......was it easy? Nope ....was it fun ? Nope .....but sometimes in order to do what is right ......you have to just do .....I promise you could go get two fast food jobs tomorrow....work 80 hrs a week and take a couple classes on line if you really want to ........you won't get stuck .....not finish school [ fuck before I got a scholorship to play football out of jc ....my last yr I was still only 18 ....I took 21 units to have to 60 units total to transfer in the spring for spring ball ....I actually had to attend two schools to do this because they wouldnt let me take that many and participate in a sport .......I worked .....supported myself ......and still had time to have fun and date some ladies ....I was broke ,tired , and had little time .....but I made it because I wanted to ......and so can you .......If you want to help your family then get on it ......you can still take some on line courses and continue your schooling without a problem.[it isn't that hard ] I say get working asap .....take my advice that I just gave cheloz28 [read that thread ] and understand if you are doing what I advised him .....then you will never get stuck anywhere .....don't trick yourself into excuses.....your family needs you .....this is your time to shine ......[ also , maybe mention here .....where you live ....maybe someone here can help you .....you never know ] Nothing is too hard .......but waiting isn't helping .....take action asap .....you can adjust as you are contributing...........don't over think.....get working .....figure out school......and take the advice that I gave cheloz28......you 'll be proud of yourself as will your family ........get on it .......you can do this .....but quit overthinking and making excuses or living with fear.....you are the master of your own destiny ......I believe this and so should you........all my best to you and your family......much love

 

[bloodshed]

First of all I think it is important to realize that your father is recovering ......I am so happy for you , him and your family .......nothing more valuable than ones health .[because with out that you can't be free to love ,help , or support anyone........]

Second , you are being a man and it sounds like this is your test to step up .....you can do this is you want it bad enough ......there I plenty of young single moms that have had kids , worked one or two jobs , and survived going on to become successful......was it easy? Nope ....was it fun ? Nope .....but sometimes in order to do what is right ......you have to just do .....I promise you could go get two fast food jobs tomorrow....work 80 hrs a week and take a couple classes on line if you really want to ........you won't get stuck .....not finish school [ fuck before I got a scholorship to play football out of jc ....my last yr I was still only 18 ....I took 21 units to have to 60 units total to transfer in the spring for spring ball ....I actually had to attend two schools to do this because they wouldnt let me take that many and participate in a sport .......I worked .....supported myself ......and still had time to have fun and date some ladies ....I was broke ,tired , and had little time .....but I made it because I wanted to ......and so can you .......If you want to help your family then get on it ......you can still take some on line courses and continue your schooling without a problem.[it isn't that hard ] I say get working asap .....take my advice that I just gave cheloz28 [read that thread ] and understand if you are doing what I advised him .....then you will never get stuck anywhere .....don't trick yourself into excuses.....your family needs you .....this is your time to shine ......[ also , maybe mention here .....where you live ....maybe someone here can help you .....you never know ] Nothing is too hard .......but waiting isn't helping .....take action asap .....you can adjust as you are contributing...........don't over think.....get working .....figure out school......and take the advice that I gave cheloz28......you 'll be proud of yourself as will your family ........get on it .......you can do this .....but quit overthinking and making excuses or living with fear.....you are the master of your own destiny ......I believe this and so should you........all my best to you and your family......much love

Thanks, thats what I need to do. And im in the southern california area, around the inland empire.

 

[triathloncoach]

My wish for my fellow board members is for each of us to do more to take care of their health. Get blood work. Pay attention.

Im 48 and I wish I could have back some of my drunken nights as a late teen and in my 20s. I could have had a lot more fun with out the blackouts, fighting, one nighters.

Moderation.

 

[triathloncoach]

Thanks, thats what I need to do. And im in the southern california area, around the inland empire.

You were given some great advice. I would say its important to take the first step. You arent going to immediately arrive at the final solution, think incrementally, not all or nothing. You didnt stop lifting when you couldnt bench press 315 on the first day ( hokey analogy perhaps), dont wait for the perfect job. Do what you can. Your heart is in the right place!

 

[Iabadman]

good man......keep us posted ......we are here for you ......quit waiting.....no excuses .......you can still add on line classes now..... walk into to a fast food or snadwhich shop ......positive .....well spoken.....confident .....explaining your situation and that you will work hard everyday [and actually follow up on that eveyday with a smile ,while even if you hate it and it sucks.... because you know you are helping your family ....and building character that will help you forever with each positive productive day and this is who you really are......you are not a poor me ...what if cry baby....you rise to the occassion...and are a positive ,responsible , productive , loving person ].....and you are going to leave with a job ....you work say 60 hours a week [ plus some extra shifts covering ] you are going to add about 2k a month to your family .......say you live off alittle of that .....you still are helping out with over a grand a month ......your dad can call his credit card companys.....his bank .....his auto loans ....explain his situation....they will work with him and in some cases freeze his accounts til he can work again...........you can do this .....remember bro .....all you need is "want to" and Love !!! Get with it !!! As Appolo said to Rocky in Rocky 3," There is no tomorrow!!!"

 

[bloodshed]

good man......keep us posted ......we are here for you ......quit waiting.....no excuses .......you can still add on line classes now..... walk into to a fast food or snadwhich shop ......positive .....well spoken.....confident .....explaining your situation and that you will work hard everyday [and actually follow up on that eveyday with a smile ,while even if you hate it and it sucks.... because you know you are helping your family ....and building character that will help you forever with each positive productive day and this is who you really are......you are not a poor me ...what if cry baby....you rise to the occassion...and are a positive ,responsible , productive , loving person ].....and you are going to leave with a job ....you work say 60 hours a week [ plus some extra shifts covering ] you are going to add about 2k a month to your family .......say you live off alittle of that .....you still are helping out with over a grand a month ......your dad can call his credit card companys.....his bank .....his auto loans ....explain his situation....they will work with him and in some cases freeze his accounts til he can work again...........you can do this .....remember bro .....all you need is "want to" and Love !!! Get with it !!! As Appolo said to Rocky in Rocky 3," There is no tomorrow!!!"

Thanks, Im really going to start doing that. As far as classes goes, what I have right now takes up very little of my time, only about 8 hours a week split up in a way in which it wouldnt effect my ability to work much. The credit card companies havent been helping much, but we haven't used much credit in the last couple of years anyways. However ATT really was helpful. they froze his cell phone account and wiped out all of his overdue bills, and we only pay $10 a month to maintain it.

 

[Iabadman]

Remeber fellas ......we can talk about training ......gear ...diet ..even sex......here as well .....this is a bbing forum after all ......but this is place for each of you ...a place to share ....vent .....give ...help ...contribute......it doesn't have to be just heavy intense stuff ...just keep it real !!! Much love fellas.....

 

[Ironmanpits]

Does anyone here have a problem with being content? It seems that no matter what I obtain in my life, no matter what goals I set and achieve...no matter what I own....I'm always wanting more, always feeling unfulfilled. There really is something to the quote "no happiness in having or getting, only in giving" but I still find it so hard to be happy with things, always feeling like im missing out on something more, or that I'm wasting time etc. Can anyone relate to this?

 

[Iabadman]

I used to be able to relate to you my friend....I stressed ...always wanted more .....then I started to study philosophy ,religion, phychology, ethics, and logic ......As I starting looking into Buddism [and I am not a Buddist]....I happened to go a seminar that featured a monk .....meeting him was truly inspiring......you could see the peace in his heart .....you could feel his compassion .....it was so cool to actually see.....I asked him , " how does one find inner peace in this crazy western world?" He smiled and said ," want for nothing.....live in the presant .....when you find your self wanting or needing ......try giving ." He said peace is that simple .And the older I get .....the more I think he is right...You are not in a race .....this is not a competition.....this is your one life !!! So slow down .....live through greatful eyes and give back to your world .....you will be much happier if you do .....