Neil Curry has died

[AllOkJumpmaster]

16+ year active Army vet and I have lost many comrades to suicide, we are talking a number almost reaching 20. It may sound like a cliche thing to do / say, because everyone "seems" to do it whenever there is a higher profile suicide, but if anyone here on this site reading this may be feeling a way, or wondering if there is an outlet to reach out to. I am and will always be an open option...Please.

 

[Eguz22]

It happened to me. It was a cry for help more than a real threat looking back but police cruiser was waiting in my driveway for me to show up so they could take me to a mental facility on an involuntary hold.

But you guys are wrong about this.

Even if it’s just a cry for help it might save a life or at the least get someone on the path to healing. After every psychiatrist and therapy session they ask me if I feel like hurting myself or others and I always answer NO. Is it always the truth? That’s a grey area but it’s part of the process. It means I haven’t given up. There’s hope. And I want a chance to try and prove I’m not a liar.

It is very different to harm others than to harm oneself. In a free society you should have the right to torture, abuse and kill yourself, and no one should involuntarily detain you.

 

[SDRaver]

Kevin Hines the man who jumped off the Golden gate bridge as a child and survived

Worth watching. He speaks about the day that it happened and what he went through. And what he's doing now to keep it from happening again

 

[Fleezy]

It is very different to harm others than to harm oneself. In a free society you should have the right to torture, abuse and kill yourself, and no one should involuntarily detain you.

A rather macabre way of putting it

I reckon society considers people to be investments - more or less

If society has benefited you in some way - from its public coffers (or otherwise), it wants to get its money’s worth out of you… can’t have its investments terminating themselves

 

[Eguz22]

A rather macabre way of putting it

I reckon society considers people to be investments - more or less

If society has benefited you in some way - from its public coffers (or otherwise), it wants to get its money’s worth out of you… can’t have its investments terminating themselves

No one is free in a society where the government or institutions have the philanthropic mission of "protecting" their sheep.

The reality is that they want to decide when you live and when you die, they don't want you to be able to decide about your body and life, hence the whole prohibition on drugs or the stigmatization about suicide.

Priests began to condemn suicide, now psychologists and other mental health experts do so, all of them are employees of the government and power.

Paradoxically, the considered greatest men in the history of humanity were in favor of suicide:

Buddha proclaimed suicide as extraordinarily meritorious, recommending it unconditionally, only his priests were prohibited from taking their own lives because otherwise the universe could not be redeemed, therefore he required them to renounce self-annihilation as a harsh sacrifice.

Christ has said nothing about suicide, however considering that in the mention of the evil that comes from the heart of the human being (Mark 7 21 to 22), suicide does not appear, it can be concluded that Christ would not have been able to deprive an enlightened suicide
esoteric celestial realm. As is evident, Christian morality is nothing more than the mandate towards a slow suicide and therefore it can really be manifested that by also resorting to the prophesied fall of the world, both Christ and Buddha, they have advised suicide.

I insist so much on this point because, as I frankly have to confess, the only thing that still deeply outrages me is the heartless judgment of suicides by the majority of men, particularly priests.

Whoever dresses in the mantle of the philosopher has taken an oath before the flag of truth and from now on when it is necessary to serve it, any other difference with respect to anything is an infamous betrayal (is Schopenhauer).

Philipp Mainländer - Apology for suicide

 

[AllOkJumpmaster]

It is very different to harm others than to harm oneself. In a free society you should have the right to torture, abuse and kill yourself, and no one should involuntarily detain you.

in my 40 years of life I have never met a single person that was stopped or saved from suicide not be thankful that it happened.

 

[KillerStack]

"Talk to someone, anyone, there are people who will listen."

How about this: recently one of my best friends told me if he was in my currrent shoes he would kill himself. "I don't know how you manage to stay alive." He wasn't pissed at me, he wasn't mad but just said what was on his mind.

Recently I've been asked by doctors if I've thought of suicide. I had to think about it and what would be the best response. I've just said, "I think about it every day, all the time, negotiate with the idea constantly, BUT at this moment the step to actually doing it is a long step." They haven't locked me up yet lol.

Most of all I'm scared about the afterlife. What if it's worse, and worse still if suicided? I think a relaxed feeling of "I can check out any time so ley's just see what happens for a while longer" would be liberating. Would help me if I was sure death is just lights out. One guy on another forum, discussing this particular death said, "it's a bad way to go, there are subtle layers of existence you can't escape." This guy is one of those psychedelics guys. Then I read Neil even travelled to Brazil to do Ayahuasca and engage in some "shenanigans."
Supposedly bullied recently over some stuff in the past which wasn't good for his mind. I don't know about all that but that's what I read.

 

[AllOkJumpmaster]

"Talk to someone, anyone, there are people who will listen."

How about this: recently one of my best friends told me if he was in my currrent shoes he would kill himself. "I don't know how you manage to stay alive." He wasn't pissed at me, he wasn't mad but just said what was on his mind.

Recently I've been asked by doctors if I've thought of suicide. I had to think about it and what would be the best response. I've just said, "I think about it every day, all the time, negotiate with the idea constantly, BUT at this moment the step to actually doing it is a long step." They haven't locked me up yet lol.

Most of all I'm scared about the afterlife. What if it's worse, and worse still if suicided? I think a relaxed feeling of "I can check out any time so ley's just see what happens for a while longer" would be liberating. Would help me if I was sure death is just lights out. One guy on another forum, discussing this particular death said, "it's a bad way to go, there are subtle layers of existence you can't escape." This guy is one of those psychedelics guys. Then I read Neil even travelled to Brazil to do Ayahuasca and engage in some "shenanigans."
Supposedly bullied recently over some stuff in the past which wasn't good for his mind. I don't know about all that but that's what I read.

I am not implying you need it, but if you do, I can, and will be an outlet. If I misinterpreted your post and my comment offended you, I am truly sorry. Either way, my inbox is open, and I will send you my number...

 

[KillerStack]

I am not implying you need it, but if you do, I can, and will be an outlet. If I misinterpreted your post and my comment offended you, I am truly sorry. Either way, my inbox is open, and I will send you my number...

I wouldn't take offence to an offer like this even if not warranted. But doctors ask, maybe it's protocol, about thoughts of suicide, and I never really knew how to answer. But I said, thinking about it as a possibility yes but to me it's big step to some next phase where you start to plan it and so on. And they always "let me go" lol.
Thank you.

 

[Mitchlowkey]

As someone who has suffered with depression at varying degrees, drug addiction, self loathing etc I highly recommend doing something like CBT(cognitive behaviour therapy)
Sometimes we can get caught up in a negative thought cycle and it spirals..
Talking to people can help. I’ve found that taking the focus off myself and helping to encourage others in similar situations helps tremendously.
As bodybuilders or people who train regularly I have to say that if you are in a state of depression never give up your training regimen! Never let go of your self discipline, routine and structure, it will keep you going and give you purpose, not to mention self respect.
I stopped training during lockdown for a while and really lost my shit. I gradually got my mojo back and now understand how important it is to keep chugging away. Bodybuilding for me has been and is a life saver!
It also helps to remember that you are not alone, never listen to that lie!

 

[Type-IIx]

"Talk to someone, anyone, there are people who will listen."

How about this: recently one of my best friends told me if he was in my currrent shoes he would kill himself. "I don't know how you manage to stay alive." He wasn't pissed at me, he wasn't mad but just said what was on his mind.

Recently I've been asked by doctors if I've thought of suicide. I had to think about it and what would be the best response. I've just said, "I think about it every day, all the time, negotiate with the idea constantly, BUT at this moment the step to actually doing it is a long step." They haven't locked me up yet lol.

Most of all I'm scared about the afterlife. What if it's worse, and worse still if suicided? I think a relaxed feeling of "I can check out any time so ley's just see what happens for a while longer" would be liberating. Would help me if I was sure death is just lights out. One guy on another forum, discussing this particular death said, "it's a bad way to go, there are subtle layers of existence you can't escape." This guy is one of those psychedelics guys. Then I read Neil even travelled to Brazil to do Ayahuasca and engage in some "shenanigans."
Supposedly bullied recently over some stuff in the past which wasn't good for his mind. I don't know about all that but that's what I read.

Your friend wasn't remotely empathetic towards the damage and pain your suicide would cause, it ripples out (and is contagious too). You are a smart, good bro, don't ever take that step, because life means possibilities and you have the capacity to make positive changes. Once things have gotten as bad as they can, then all that can come next is better.

As @Mitchlowkey said, CBT & well-managed psych medication, as well as, if able, maintaining a structured physical activity (nothing better than planned, progressive overload resistance training & making measurable progress) is foundational. Of course, certain events can unfold that make this training impossible (forced time off due to illness, injury, or pandemic, etc.) Don't catastrophize about this. In a depressed state, the things that are best for us are become those that we least want to do, and the depressed person can be plagued by irrational cognitive processes and patterns of thinking (e.g., sunk cost fallacies, abstinence violation effects, etc.) CBT would get you "back on the wagon" in such crises.

I don't think death is lights out, either.

 

[Brock456]

Your friend wasn't remotely empathetic towards the damage and pain your suicide would cause, it ripples out (and is contagious too). You are a smart, good bro, don't ever take that step, because life means possibilities and you have the capacity to make positive changes. Once things have gotten as bad as they can, then all that can come next is better.

As @Mitchlowkey said, CBT & well-managed psych medication, as well as, if able, maintaining a structured physical activity (nothing better than planned, progressive overload resistance training & making measurable progress) is foundational. Of course, certain events can unfold that make this training impossible (forced time off due to illness, injury, or pandemic, etc.) Don't catastrophize about this. In a depressed state, the things that are best for us are become those that we least want to do, and the depressed person can be plagued by irrational cognitive processes and patterns of thinking (e.g., sunk cost fallacies, abstinence violation effects, etc.) CBT would get you "back on the wagon" in such crises.

I don't think death is lights out, either.

I think most in that situation don’t realize or don’t care about the damage and pain that it causes.

I was once there and didn’t realize it.

You’re right about the rippling and contagiousness too.

 

[alfresco]

I think most in that situation don’t realize or don’t care about the damage and pain that it causes.

I was once there and didn’t realize it.

You’re right about the rippling and contagiousness too.

Thanks for sharing.

I think that, and from what I understand the pain is so great that it is seen and felt as the only possible relief. The effect on others is secondary. They just want the depression to go away.

I am glad you got through this Brock.

Would you mind elaborating a bit? (I completely understand if you are not comfortable doing so.)

 

[Brock456]

Thanks for sharing.

I think that, and from what I understand the pain is so great that it is seen and felt as the only possible relief. The effect on others is secondary. They just want the depression to go away.

I am glad you got through this Brock.

Would you mind elaborating a bit? (I completely understand if you are not comfortable doing so.)

Just was young, at a bad place in life, and felt that was the only way out. I’m glad I didn’t.

I don’t take lightly to people who joke “you should just go die” or “go kill yourself.” I’ve had others take their life.
I know of others who were told to, and did in fact take their life.
I don’t think those words should be thrown around in any way jokingly, sarcastically, or in anyway. I would never want anyone to go through that.

 

[alfresco]

Just was young, at a bad place in life, and felt that was the only way out. I’m glad I didn’t.

I don’t take lightly to people who joke “you should just go die” or “go kill yourself.” I’ve had others take their life.
I know of others who were told to, and did in fact take their life.
I don’t think those words should be thrown around in any way jokingly, sarcastically, or in anyway. I would never want anyone to go through that.

I agree.

And I am glad you didn’t too.

 

[Mitchlowkey]

Your friend wasn't remotely empathetic towards the damage and pain your suicide would cause, it ripples out (and is contagious too). You are a smart, good bro, don't ever take that step, because life means possibilities and you have the capacity to make positive changes. Once things have gotten as bad as they can, then all that can come next is better.

As @Mitchlowkey said, CBT & well-managed psych medication, as well as, if able, maintaining a structured physical activity (nothing better than planned, progressive overload resistance training & making measurable progress) is foundational. Of course, certain events can unfold that make this training impossible (forced time off due to illness, injury, or pandemic, etc.) Don't catastrophize about this. In a depressed state, the things that are best for us are become those that we least want to do, and the depressed person can be plagued by irrational cognitive processes and patterns of thinking (e.g., sunk cost fallacies, abstinence violation effects, etc.) CBT would get you "back on the wagon" in such crises.

I don't think death is lights out, either.

As always, thorough and concise. Good to see you here Type-11X

 

[KillerStack]

Your friend wasn't remotely empathetic towards the damage and pain your suicide would cause, it ripples out (and is contagious too). You are a smart, good bro, don't ever take that step, because life means possibilities and you have the capacity to make positive changes. Once things have gotten as bad as they can, then all that can come next is better.

He is suicidal too at times, mood is up and down, he is 60 now and he was using injectable amphetamine until 22 but cleaned up his act, went to engineering school and now works at a nuclear plant. But when he said that I was like, "Holy shit, I didn't realise things were THAT bad." LOL. But he's the only one who called me when I periodically shut out the world, is extremely generous with his time, resources and money. But he says things like "I'm 60 now but if I knew at 20 what I know now I would have checked out then, when I turn 70 I will shoot half a gram of speed (dexamphetamine) guaranteed." The amphetamine is often in his thoughts almost 40 years later!
Weird dude with plenty of his own psych problems. We bought a few Tramadol as we picked up our roids and I said I heard there might be a deadly dose of fentanyl in them. "Well that would be like hitting the jack pot then!"

I think most in that situation don’t realize or don’t care about the damage and pain that it causes.

The classical explanation for the suicidal is that they think that they are a burden. "My relatives and friends will be relieved at being rid of me as I'm nothing but a problem."
This is not rational thinking the experts say. But if I'm allowed to be cynical a bit that can be true! to differing extents. "Finally he feels no more pain," they often say when a person finally exits.

I saw a clip of some married woman saying, "my husband felt so bad, his world was so dark that after X amount of years I had to say enough! We have to find you a therapist because your problems are too heavy for me to hear and bare. I can't listed to them anymore" She said she finally had to think of her own self preservation. This clip affected me a lot for some reason. On one hand I understand perfectly what she's saying but on the other I think of the loneliness he must have felt at hearing that. So many have no one to talk to whom they know on a personal level. Some because they don't want to burden someone or they simply don't have friends who are THAT close.

 

[Type-IIx]

He is suicidal too at times, mood is up and down, he is 60 now and he was using injectable amphetamine until 22 but cleaned up his act, went to engineering school and now works at a nuclear plant. But when he said that I was like, "Holy shit, I didn't realise things were THAT bad." LOL. But he's the only one who called me when I periodically shut out the world, is extremely generous with his time, resources and money. But he says things like "I'm 60 now but if I knew at 20 what I know now I would have checked out then, when I turn 70 I will shoot half a gram of speed (dexamphetamine) guaranteed." The amphetamine is often in his thoughts almost 40 years later!
Weird dude with plenty of his own psych problems. We bought a few Tramadol as we picked up our roids and I said I heard there might be a deadly dose of fentanyl in them. "Well that would be like hitting the jack pot then!"



The classical explanation for the suicidal is that they think that they are a burden. "My relatives and friends will be relieved at being rid of me as I'm nothing but a problem."
This is not rational thinking the experts say. But if I'm allowed to be cynical a bit that can be true! to differing extents. "Finally he feels no more pain," they often say when a person finally exits.

I saw a clip of some married woman saying, "my husband felt so bad, his world was so dark that after X amount of years I had to say enough! We have to find you a therapist because your problems are too heavy for me to hear and bare. I can't listed to them anymore" She said she finally had to think of her own self preservation. This clip affected me a lot for some reason. On one hand I understand perfectly what she's saying but on the other I think of the loneliness he must have felt at hearing that. So many have no one to talk to whom they know on a personal level. Some because they don't want to burden someone or they simply don't have friends who are THAT close.

All fair points, it's just that feature of perceived extreme isolation taken to finality in the act of suicide is itself a delusion, a feature of depression. If that married man had offed himself, there would be trauma felt widely. Suicide is both a selfish act, and an escape for a person that is suffering, at least if we assume that there is no hell.

 

[Trensandwich]

Only a weak minded individual and coward will take there own life

 

[SouthernMuscle]

Only a weak minded individual and coward will take there own life

Only a weak minded bitch keeps coming back to a forum that’s banned him 29 fucking times