CLASSIC CYBER SEX LOL... need a good laugh, get it here

[TooPowerful4u]

Bro on Superior Muscle (yellow jacket) i guess got bored n decided to have some fun. Heres his post.

C-Dub: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears29: Aight.
C-Dub: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears29: I slip out of my pants, just for you, C-Dub.
C-Dub: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears29: Oh, I like to play dress up.
C-Dub: Me too baby.
BritneySpears29: I kiss you softly on your chest.
C-Dub: I cast Level 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears29: Hey...
C-Dub: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Level 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears29: Funny I still don't see it.
C-Dub: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuk of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears29: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
C-Dub: Don't fuk with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
C-Dub: I steal your soul and cast Lightning Level 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Level 2 Druid.
BritneySpears29: Don't ever message me again you piece of shiat.
C-Dub: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
C-Dub: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
C-Dub: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
C-Dub: Baby?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

sexyjen: Thats ok. Ok I'm a Japanese schoolgirl, what are you.
C-Dub: A Rhinoceros. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
sexyjen: Haha, ok lets go.
sexyjen: I put my hand through your hair, and kiss you on the neck.
C-Dub: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
sexyjen: Haha, ok, you know that turns me on.
sexyjen: I start unbuttoning your shirt.
C-Dub: Rhinoceroses don't were shirts.
sexyjen: No, your not really a Rhinoceros silly, it's just part of the game.
C-Dub: Rhinoceroses don't play games. They fuking charge your ass.
sexyjen: Stop, c'mon be serious.
C-Dub: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinoceros about to charge your ass.
C-Dub: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
sexyjen: Thats it.
C-Dub: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
C-Dub: Goddamn am I hard now.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
QTPie:Hey
C-Dub:whats goin on
QTPie:Nothing. Who are you?
C-Dub:C-Dub. Wanna cyber?
QTPie:what does that mean?
C-Dub:what are you wearing?
QTPie:T-shirt. Jeans.
C-Dub:Garter belt?
QTPie:Ummm...no.
C-Dub:Are we gonna cyber or not?
QTPie: uh, okay.
C-Dub:Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this.
C-Dub: You're wet already. I can smell your stink from here.
QTPie: WHAT?!
C-Dub: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
C-Dub:You leave everything to C-Dub.
C-Dub:I am completely inside of you. You are my dick puppet. I put on a little play.
QTPie:This is weird. I should go.
C-Dub: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.
QTPie: A stripe?
C-Dub: I need a sandwich.
QTPie: You're a freak.
C-Dub: I was great. You loved it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kati69: Sure, you into vegetables?
C-Dub: What like gardening an shiat?
Kati69: Yeah, something like that.
C-Dub: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
C-Dub: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
Kati69: is that it?
C-Dub: You water your tomato patch.
C-Dub: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Kati69: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
C-Dub: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
C-Dub: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
Kati69: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
C-Dub: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
C-Dub: Damn baby your right, this shiat is HOT.
Kati69...
C-Dub: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Kati69: What the fart is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
C-Dub: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
Kati69: whatever.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

C-Dub: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears29: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears29: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
C-Dub: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears29: WTF, I told you not to message me again.
C-Dub: Oh shiat
BritneySpears29: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me fuking kiddie porn you fuk up.
C-Dub: Oh shiat
C-Dub: damn I gotta write down their names or something...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------


C-Dub:Your pretty funny
DirtyLaura1:I don't remember you.. but thanx
C-Dub:Wanna cyber?
DirtyLaura1:OK, but don't tell anybody (wink)
DirtyLaura1:Who are you?
C-Dub: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot.
C-Dub:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's
DirtyLaura1:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
C-Dub:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyLaura1: Haha! OK
DirtyLaura1:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
C-Dub:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyLaura1:I want everything, baby!
C-Dub:Is this a delivery?
DirtyLaura1:Umm...Yes
DirtyLaura1:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
C-Dub:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
<pause>
DirtyLaura1:C-Dub, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
C-Dub:You can't hurry good pizza.
C-Dub:I'm on my way now though
<pause>
DirtyLaura1:So you're at my front door now.
C-Dub:How did you know?
C-Dub:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
C-Dub:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyLaura1:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
C-Dub:So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyLaura1:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
C-Dub:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstasy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyLaura1:wtf?
DirtyLaura1:You perverted piece of shiat
DirtyLaura1:Fuk

 

[FRKNHUGE]

i now feel as tho i have lost mental capacity after reading that post
(shakes head profusely)
frk

 

[Snarf]

Yeah, in between laughing so hard I about pissed myself, I was mortally offended.

 

[Pittbull™]

Now that's some funny shiat. I almost wet myself laughing, but then stoped and thought this guy is sick......then started laughing again.

 

[RIV]

"C-Dub: damn I gotta write down their names or something..."


that had to be the best part! hahaha

that dude has some a crazy sense of humor

 

[gainingmass]

OMG!!!! That was the funniest shit i have ever read!!!! The part where he was a rhinocerous!! God im in the computer lab at my school and everyone was looking at me cause i was almost crying in laughter!! Who is this C-Dub hes awesome i wanna hear more!!!

 

[Maelstrom]

The Rhino transcript is pure genius
All those transcripts aren't the work of the same person, some of them have been around for years with different usernames.

 

[TooPowerful4u]

The Rhino transcript is pure genius
All those transcripts aren't the work of the same person, some of them have been around for years with different usernames.

Here's another funny transcript I found yesterday:

Eh, that killed this thread lol. Sorry, didnt really find the humor in that one.

 

[jawbreakerkid]

those were funny as hell, but I doubt someone on a bbing message board dreamt that up. They all follow the same script too, leading me to believe that it was just typed up for fun, funny none the less.

 

[Kane]

LMFAO...

 

[TooPowerful4u]

BUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[SVFootball]

hahahhahaha that was freakin hilarious

 

[littlemack]

ahahahahaha...oh man...I am crying...that was some funny shit. I read these out to my gf and we're both crying with laughter. ahahahahahaha

You da' man toopoo! ahahahaha

 

[Queefer]

That was the first post of yours where I actually read all of it.

 

[KillerStack]

Yeah these have made the rounds on the net for years. I think the original nick was bloodninja though.

 

[Sesshomaru]

Yeah these have made the rounds on the net for years. I think the original nick was bloodninja though.

Yeha it was bloodninja69. For some reason I remember the stories being a little bit longer. Funny stuff though.

 

[terryd5150]

I don't care who wrote it...

That was funny as shiat!

 

[Jwillbc55]

LMAO at "Nothing's more serious than a Rhino about to charge your ass"

 

[DIEZEL666]

I am at work reading these with people staring at me because I'm falling out of my chair laughing.

 

[marbalizer99]

C-Dub: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears29: WTF, I told you not to message me again.

Thankfully I didn't read this at work or everyone would be tryin to figure out why I was laughing so hard.