CONTEST

Aestheticlabs · Apr 22, 2008

winners choosen weekly...
Who is doing independent research that will have the biggest effect
on society as a whole?.... No human Reasearch, plant and animals research only...
there is nothing like a good Laugh so..if you have a good joke lets hear it !
Who has the funniest Joke?.....and because I have a warped since of humor
....you can vote on thursaday..winner announced friday

GoneForever · Apr 22, 2008

I love contests, but can you elaborate more on whats involved in this?

jig · Apr 22, 2008

Aestheticlabs

maxsupplements · Apr 24, 2008

bride tells her new hubbie..

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

pesty4077 · Apr 24, 2008

Three men died and were standing in front of God for judgement. God looks at all three and says" To get into heaven I am going to ask you one question" Did you ever cheat on your wife?" The first one steps up and says "never!" God says "well done" and gives him brand new cadillac and a big house. Next one steps up and says "yes I did once" God says "that isn't good, but I will still give you a Honda Civic and a medium size house". Next one steps up and says" Yes, I am sorry, I did quite a few times". God look at him with mercy and gave him a bicycle and a small house. Later that day the guy with the Honda Civic and the guy with the bicycle, saw the guy with the cadillac crying. The two shake their heads and said to him "What is wrong with you? You got it made in Heaven, a new cadillac and a great big house." The guy with the cadillac looks at them and says "I just saw my wife and she is on roller skates!"

Iron-Game · Apr 24, 2008

A teenage girl and boy are on a date. Towards the end of the date the boy leans over and asks for a BJ, the girl says "yuck, and I dont know how" the boy huffs and says "how about a hand job"? The girl again says "I dont know how". The boy says "its easy just take it in your hand and shake it up and down like a ketchup bottle and your tring to get the last bit of ketchup". The girl takes it in her hand and the boy lays his head back with a smile, just then the girl smacks the head with her other hand. The boy screams in pain, the girl says "thats how I get the last bit of ketchup"

jig · Apr 24, 2008

During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her
students: "If you were courting a well educated young girl from a
prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to
the toilet, what would you say to her?"

Mike replies "Wait a minute, I'm going for a pee"

The teacher says : "That would be very rude and improper on your part."

Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in
a minute."

The teacher says : "That's much better but to mention the word
''toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant."

And Johhny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go
shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope, to be able to
introduce to you after dinner. "

The teacher passed out..

Kcm3000 · Apr 24, 2008

An elephant asks a camel:
"Why are your breasts on your back?"
"Well," says the camel, "I think that's a strange question from somebody whose dick is on his face."

bigguns078 · Apr 24, 2008

Aunt Mildred

Aging Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.?

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place.?

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, 'Your heart would be just below your left breast'.

Later that night........ Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

GoneForever · Apr 25, 2008

Bunch of gays sitting in a gay bar and all of a sudden a dirty condom goes flying across the room:

They all look around at each other laughing and say "Who farted?"

Kcm3000 · May 2, 2008

did I win.
dont really understand this thread but it says contest.
did I win lol

K1 · May 2, 2008

Contest breakdown?!

Aestheticlabs said:
winners choosen weekly...
Who is doing independent research that will have the biggest effect
on society as a whole?.... No human Reasearch, plant and animals research only...
there is nothing like a good Laugh so..if you have a good joke lets hear it !
Who has the funniest Joke?.....and because I have a warped since of humor
....you can vote on thursaday..winner announced friday

What are the rules?!
What is the prize?!
How many tries do members get per/wk?!

rAJJIN · May 2, 2008

Mighty Kind of you AES! Always Nice to have a sponsor thats willing to Throw a Contest for the members. Looks like this has become your Favorite section

goodluck to all.

rAJJIN · May 2, 2008

Aestheticlabs said:
winners choosen weekly...
Who is doing independent research that will have the biggest effect
on society as a whole?.... No human Reasearch, plant and animals research only...
there is nothing like a good Laugh so..if you have a good joke lets hear it !
Who has the funniest Joke?.....and because I have a warped since of humor
....you can vote on thursaday..winner announced friday

The way Im reading it Guys it says the company thats here to help with your
Plant and Animal research is Going to Have a weekly Contest.
Contest Looks To be who Has the Funniest Joke. No Prize mentioned But Im guessing itll have to do with your research needs

vetter · May 3, 2008

I come home from the bar the other night and my wife asked " Why did you come home half drunk"? I said I rean out of money. How much did you spend she asked. I said about a hundred bucks. Thats when the bitching started... A 100 bucks, Do you know how that would last me? I said yeah, You dont drink and you have your own pussy it ought to last you forever!!!!

vetter · May 3, 2008

What's 12 inches long and white?

Nothing!

Aestheticlabs · May 4, 2008

...

Whats the difference between your Mama and a washingmachine____
after you dump a load in the washer it doesn't follow you around for two weeks....LOL