Devastated.....

[TooPowerful4u]

I know this doesnt belong here, but hopefully MODS can allow it. Alot of the guys i feel close with post only on the main forum. I need to vent a little, doubt it will help...but in reality i feel this is the only place where i have family.

As all of you have known and seen from me nonstop talking about her and posting pictures, i loved my gf. Well, she got rid of me as of 4 days ago. Me and a friend were talking and his gf and mine listened in and heard us discussing how we thought some women cant be trusted and sometimes sketchy situations arrise. Apparently her friend heard it and relayed the message and avoided the 1000 good things i said and how much i said i loved her, and only delivered the 2 bad things i said. So at that point, she decided shes fed up with bodybuilding, she hates what i take, how i always have to eat, etc. etc...and came up with a host of other things and dumped me. Like an idiot i spent the last few days calling and texting her (yea i know, like a psycho, but trust me it was out of love and fear of losing her).....and she got madder and now refuses to pick up and told me to never speak to her again ever. Hasnt contacted me, and life just sucks for me. Somehow, her friend drilled alot of bullshit into her mind (her friend is an ex drugg addict stripper) and since her bf broke up with her, she wanted my gf single so im not in the way. She told me "sara wants to be single for the summer". I KNOW thats not true, she even told me it wasnt. I wanted to marry this girl and i know she wanted to marry me. She even wanted to have a baby but i told her to hold off until we have more money. If i was financially set i would have asked her to marry me already. Sadly, i am not set yet, but def. on my way as i got a decent job a few days ago and am taking a test for a 6 figure job in a few weeks. So as things were starting to look up for me, i believed i could finally do well in bodybuilding and have a nice career ahead of me....the worse thing i can possibly think of happened.

God i miss her. You all saw the pictures i posted in that thread of her photo shoot and how proud i was of her. Nothing was wrong in our relationship and we were still as happy as day 1. We even still flirted w each other as people do in the beginning. Still smiled so bright every time we saw each other. It was as close to perfect as i could imagine. She was as close to perfect as i could have asked for. Now its gone. I dont want to do anything at the moment. Im forcing myself to go through what i know i need to do with work, coaching, the gym and lifting. Im just not the same. Im broken. I dont know where to go from here. Im not emotionally strong at all. Im VERY emotionally weak.

I realize this post probably will give an entire different outlook and opinion of who i am to everyone, but it doesnt matter to me. I dont need to uphold a tuff guy image or pretend im something im not. Sometimes i wish i had a heart of stone so it could never be damaged, but sadly i never have. Always wanted love and a family. Now its gone.......before anyone says it...she is not the type to come back. Shes the cut off her nose to spite her face type. She will deal with the pain to do what she thinks is right. I guess she feels i am not whats best for her

 

[buffbabeca]

TP4U i am sorry for what you are going through. I dont know what to say but I will say this , I am sure sarah loves you but realize this... if one person putting thngs into her head can cause her to leave then maybe her feelings werent as strong as she thought. if i hear something about my man , like a bat out of hell ( and u can ask a few on this board who know me well) i am going straight to him and confronting him with the info i have. i wish you the best of luck but give her some time to sort through this. I am sure it hurt her to hear what she did and she is reacting without thinking things through.

 

[jawbreakerkid]

If she was willing to break up with you over her friend chirping in her ear, she isn't who you thought she was. Having your heart broken sucks, but for someone who had conversations about having children, and she ends it just like that? Thank God you didn't get her pregnant.

Also, I question anyone who surrounds themselves by people that can be described as an "ex drug addict stripper."

Live and learn.

 

[TooPowerful4u]

If she was willing to break up with you over her friend chirping in her ear, she isn't who you thought she was. Having your heart broken sucks, but for someone who had conversations about having children, and she ends it just like that? Thank God you didn't get her pregnant.

Also, I question anyone who surrounds themselves by people that can be described as an "ex drug addict stripper."

Live and learn.

She doesnt have very many friends. Shes such a sweet girl i dont know why. Her best friend from when she was little ended up a stripper as well. Those are her only 2 friends.

After that event happened...she decided despite the job i just got and the job i am testing for in a few weeks...im going nowhere with my life so i needed to prove to her i was making an effort. That is OBVIOUSLY not her thoughts. She knows where im going and what im doing. Iv never been a loser or failure and never planned to be.

I think she got more fed up with me calling and texting her. I just couldnt deal with not talking to her when she said she needed time. If you knew our relationship we called each other probably 20x per day, soon as we woke, before bed, before during and after work/gym/anything. We NEVER went out without each other. We were sooo close you have no idea. We only wanted to spend time with each other. We would have fun just watching TV, she would come over and sit next to me or on me and start teasing me and flirting with me and making me laugh right away. I couldnt go from that to not talking ot her, i needed to hear from her. Made her madder. Now....i guess i ruined it...

 

[jawbreakerkid]

Sounds more like infatuation with each other as opposed to love. It is not good for two people to be so dependent on each other. You need to have a life together and a life apart.

I say give her time. If it is love, she'll come back around. I tend to think she may have gotten burned out by the infatuation and has decided to move on. Women can change their minds very quickly and it comes out of nowhere, maybe she just needed a little nudge from her friend.

Either way, it will work out for you. You're a smart kid, you got a lot going for you. If it is not her, there will be another, and maybe another, and another...

 

[pesty4077]

At one time in my life(I was 26) I thought I found the right girl to marry, She dumped me right after my first show, it devastated me. I know I got cold towards women after that, going with them for only one thing. I said to myself, I would never let my guard down after that. Well in 1990 at 30 I met my wife. I was cold towards her at first, but she never gave up on me. I been with her ever since. When someone has true love for you, things will shine through. I know it sucks, being hurt, we all go through it. Your a stud, you can get any women you want. If it was true it will come back, if it wasn't it will go away. Give her space and keep your head on tight. Know one thing Bro, you got people who care about you, Vent anytime you want.

 

[TooPowerful4u]

Sounds more like infatuation with each other as opposed to love. It is not good for two people to be so dependent on each other. You need to have a life together and a life apart.

I say give her time. If it is love, she'll come back around. I tend to think she may have gotten burned out by the infatuation and has decided to move on. Women can change their minds very quickly and it comes out of nowhere, maybe she just needed a little nudge from her friend.

Either way, it will work out for you. You're a smart kid, you got a lot going for you. If it is not her, there will be another, and maybe another, and another...

If only i could be as strong as you sound. Im not even close.

Infatuation does not last 1.5yrs. Infatuation does not mean doing anything and everything to see the other person happy. Infatuation doesnt have you call out of work to take care of each other when sick. Iv had relationships and i know what love is. We didnt depend on each other, we sincerely loved spending time together. She had her time w friends and i had mine and i have the gym every day. Is there something wrong with loving a person so much you want to spend every free moment with them? We live 30min apart and both worked, so we didnt get to see each other every day. Maybe why we valued time together so much.

 

[TooPowerful4u]

At one time in my life(I was 26) I thought I found the right girl to marry, She dumped me right after my first show, it devastated me. I know I got cold towards women after that, going with them for only one thing. I said to myself, I would never let my guard down after that. Well in 1990 at 30 I met my wife. I was cold towards her at first, but she never gave up on me. I been with her ever since. When someone has true love for you, things will shine through. I know it sucks, being hurt, we all go through it. Your a stud, you can get any women you want. If it was true it will come back, if it wasn't it will go away. Give her space and keep your head on tight. Know one thing Bro, you got people who care about you, Vent anytime you want.

I was that way. I was this way with Sara. She never gave up on me either. Called me every day. Got me to hang out. After a while i assured her it would take time for me to open up because of my past. She stuck right with it....she delt with alot, even delt with me being a jerk dieting and moody (which i know i need to control). Soon as the show was over, it was as if our relationship was fresh and everything was sooo good again. Its been that way since November. Now all of a sudden......this

 

[theworm]

she broke up with you cause you are too small,,,up the dosage!


jk


hope everything works out.

 

[buffbabeca]

If only i could be as strong as you sound. Im not even close.

Infatuation does not last 1.5yrs. Infatuation does not mean doing anything and everything to see the other person happy. Infatuation doesnt have you call out of work to take care of each other when sick. Iv had relationships and i know what love is. We didnt depend on each other, we sincerely loved spending time together. She had her time w friends and i had mine and i have the gym every day. Is there something wrong with loving a person so much you want to spend every free moment with them? We live 30min apart and both worked, so we didnt get to see each other every day. Maybe why we valued time together so much.

there is NOTHING wrong with wanting to spend all your time together when you have free time.... i wish you two the best , but be patient and if the feelings are true and genuine she will come to her senses and come back but dont push the issue. too much.

 

[TooPowerful4u]

she broke up with you cause you are too small,,,up the dosage!


jk


hope everything works out.

She hates my body. She told me she only likes it because she knows i like it and it makes me happy. She always told me she loved my face and me as a person the most...not my body (because she knew i always felt my body was my strongest asset, which is half true because i think my intillect is)

 

[LATS]

BRO.. in my 40 some odd years i have seen this scenerio numerous times with my friends ect.. trust me.. she was just given the excuse she needed to get out.. i hate to say.. but, if she will not listen to the man she supposably loved, over the ex stripper who had drug issues ect she just found her excuse.. and the fact that she will not let you explain and such is just a example..
if she truly wanted to stay together she would have asked you for explanation or any other way to make it work.. the fact that she is using the constant eating, use, ect ect is her venting to make it a easier break.. she is picking things now that she did not "like" about you.. yet she never mentioned it before .. she is trying to make it harder to get back together and making a more solid "case" for the breakup..
trust me it sucks.. we have all been there at one time or another.. but. leave her alone.. if she wants to come back she will.. but, give her breathing room.. it may actually make her miss you.. if not.. you tried..

 

[TooPowerful4u]

BRO.. in my 40 some odd years i have seen this scenerio numerous times with my friends ect.. trust me.. she was just given the excuse she needed to get out.. i hate to say.. but, if she will not listen to the man she supposably loved, over the ex stripper who had drug issues ect she just found her excuse.. and the fact that she will not let you explain and such is just a example..
if she truly wanted to stay together she would have asked you for explanation or any other way to make it work.. the fact that she is using the constant eating, use, ect ect is her venting to make it a easier break.. she is picking things now that she did not "like" about you.. yet she never mentioned it before .. she is trying to make it harder to get back together and making a more solid "case" for the breakup..
trust me it sucks.. we have all been there at one time or another.. but. leave her alone.. if she wants to come back she will.. but, give her breathing room.. it may actually make her miss you.. if not.. you tried..

Partially true. I know she hates how i always have to eat on time and things like that, tho she likes me to eat healthy. Shes mentioned that before numerous times. She told me that i needed to show improvement in my life and my attitude (odd because like i said just landed a job and am progressing towards a new one). I got screwed out of a job i thought i was good a year ago and its taken me a while to get back on my feet with a good job. Went through a few that didnt work out. So its been almost a year since iv had a SOLID job, but iv had some on and off that just werent working well for me (personal training was one because i picked a prissy place who all thought i was a meathead).

You are right, shes picking on the bad things that make her upset and avoiding all things that were good. She tends to have a negative outlook on life tho like a pessemist where as im an optimist....but thats how she was raised and i was working on changing that slowly but surely. So i dont think this was out of the ordinary either. Shes just very upset for i dont know what reason. A week ago things were so solid you wouldnt believe, so i honestly dont think this fits the scenario that she was looking for a way out. If she was, shes a damn good actress and is good at hiding it.

 

[thebrick]

BRO.. in my 40 some odd years i have seen this scenerio numerous times with my friends ect.. trust me.. she was just given the excuse she needed to get out.. i hate to say.. but, if she will not listen to the man she supposably loved, over the ex stripper who had drug issues ect she just found her excuse.. and the fact that she will not let you explain and such is just a example..
if she truly wanted to stay together she would have asked you for explanation or any other way to make it work.. the fact that she is using the constant eating, use, ect ect is her venting to make it a easier break.. she is picking things now that she did not "like" about you.. yet she never mentioned it before .. she is trying to make it harder to get back together and making a more solid "case" for the breakup..
trust me it sucks.. we have all been there at one time or another.. but. leave her alone.. if she wants to come back she will.. but, give her breathing room.. it may actually make her miss you.. if not.. you tried..

I have to agree 100%

and in response to your last post... women can be very good at hiding what's really cooking in their head sometimes.

 

[hotttsauce]

It's always easy for an outsider to look at a situation and give advice/reasoning when their emotions are not involved.

Take some time and look at our relationship, what was good, what was not and analyze what happened. I am sure you know pushing the issue will only drive her further away. Take this time and think about what you truly want out of the person in your life. Live your life and appreciate the advice from your friends, in the long run, they are all you have that will always be there.

It may take days, weeks or months, but (and I hate this cliche') if it was meant to be, it will return.

 

[Demonox14]

and since her bf broke up with her, she wanted my gf single so im not in the way.\

Let me tell you somthing her friend is not a real friend and is only jealus.. I been threw this shit before bro... have her friends always been there for her..? Bitches are like that sometimes... so have to becareful... I gurantee her friend gots the hots for you... My advice is ... don't take it so hard... let her be... take this a vacation.. she will be back when her friend is not there for her and she misses you.. thats when you talk to her.. and tell how much you miss her.... just wait.... and concentrate on yourself... the less you show you don't care the more she'll think about you... question... does she answer her phone when you call? and if she does how does she sound?

 

[LATS]

brick is right.. we have a guy at work who was married 18 years.. everytime i saw him and his wife they were holding hands and very playful ect.. we sent him a training session of 3 days about a month ago.. when he got back to the train station the police were there and served him his divorce papers.. and he literally spoke to her that morning and she said "i love you".. i crap you not..
i asked him if there was a proablem ect.. he said "honestly, we were perfect.. never spoke a harsh word.. hell we had sex the night before i left.. i dont know what to think.." a few days went by and this "women" (i use that term loosely) called to tell him that she was in love with another man and had been seeing him for about a year.. can you frickin' imagine??? after all the lovey dovey stuff..
i am in no means saying this is the case with tp.. but, like brick said.. you truly dont know whats in a persons thoughts.. many are good actor and actress'..

 

[Ryce]

If she was willing to break up with you over her friend chirping in her ear, she isn't who you thought she was. Having your heart broken sucks, but for someone who had conversations about having children, and she ends it just like that? Thank God you didn't get her pregnant.

Also, I question anyone who surrounds themselves by people that can be described as an "ex drug addict stripper."

Live and learn.

This is excellent advice dude. I know we havent spoken much but like jawbreakerkid said, if all it took was her friend to put doubt in her ear for her to break up with you then she wasnt who you thought she was and to be honest is a bit immature. With that said you arent the first guy who has complained that thier woman doesnt like the bodybuilding lifestyle. Alot of women say that.

It can come from the women being jealous that you look better than they do and its thier own insecurity speaking that makes them break up with you, or it could be the fact that they dont understand bodybuilding they way we do and therefore dont choose to be apart of it.

In my travels I have come across very few women outside fitness girls and chick bodybuilders that understand what we go through as far as dieting, lifting ,and th they whole lifestyle in general.

I know its rough now dude, trust me I have been there but you obvioulsy dont need her and she wasnt the person you were supposed to be with. Use this as motivation in the gym to get even better looking physique wise and then consider yourself saved from having to put up with her crap.

Imagine if you got married and had to deal with her immaturity for the rest of your life or even if you got a divorce and had to pay her alimony which in all likelyhood would have been spent on her new boyfriend. God forbid you had a kid with her, her frioends would put shit in her ear that your a terrible dad, and how she should get sole custody, etc, etc, etc,

Sucks now dude but your better off int he long run. Cinsider yourself saved from a disaster relationship or worse marriage waiting to happen.

 

[Ryce]

She doesnt have very many friends. Shes such a sweet girl i dont know why. Her best friend from when she was little ended up a stripper as well. Those are her only 2 friends.

After that event happened...she decided despite the job i just got and the job i am testing for in a few weeks...im going nowhere with my life so i needed to prove to her i was making an effort. That is OBVIOUSLY not her thoughts. She knows where im going and what im doing. Iv never been a loser or failure and never planned to be.

I think she got more fed up with me calling and texting her. I just couldnt deal with not talking to her when she said she needed time. If you knew our relationship we called each other probably 20x per day, soon as we woke, before bed, before during and after work/gym/anything. We NEVER went out without each other. We were sooo close you have no idea. We only wanted to spend time with each other. We would have fun just watching TV, she would come over and sit next to me or on me and start teasing me and flirting with me and making me laugh right away. I couldnt go from that to not talking ot her, i needed to hear from her. Made her madder. Now....i guess i ruined it...

One last thing. bro why would you guys chat on the phone or text 20x per day. No offense you seem like a good hearted dude but that shit is whack. Thats like being pussywhipped without the pussy. Bro women like men who dont seem needy. Calling her 20x a day and then when you break up calling her 20x a day comes off as needy. Give ther the " i dont need you" attitude and she wouldnt have strayed.

As far as you going nowhere in life....where the fuck is she going thats so special. Its a two way street ya know. She isnt supposed to ride on your coat tails. Fuck that dude she needs to get a grip bro seriously. It doesnt matter if your the garbage man, if you do your job with pride and to the best of your ability its noble.

What does she want some rich actor or playboy to take her out and buy her things and take her on fancy vacations every month? Those guys are few and far between and even they guys that are like that wouldnt settle for a woman who expects everything to be handed to her.

I make good money dude and I have a tough time finding women because alot of them are out only for the free ride. I wish I would have found a girl when I was dead broke who would have loved me for me and went through all the rough shit I had to go through to be where I am at today. Then I know that would have been true love.

But she isnt so perfect and fuck that bro Im sorry but you dont need that shit. Bigger and better fish in the sea. Now get in the gym, get shredded and get to bangin multiple chicks........ at one time.

 

[Massive G]

The hardest thing to do is give it time and stay away a bit. It's a gamble either way,and it's far from over with you two hopefully you can work things out.
Was she under a lot of stress lately-injury and all a week or so ago? Was she on painkillers or any other med change?
I feel for you, I am not going to sit here and say bad things about her and tell you what to do, cause most of us have all been there and goddamn it hurts, hurts bad. So trust me NO ONE is or will look down on you or think any less of you because of this.

I was less than a month out from a state show I was going to smoke in great shape and my girl of 5 years dumped me for another guy (long story she read a letter I was writing to a freind of mine who lived in another state and freaked) it took a month or so but she fell for another guy and dropped the bomb on me. I was seeing asports pyschologist and we were doing visualization and relaxation and mediation for performance enhancement and he told me to treat it as a "bereavement" Yea right. But went over the 5 stages of bereavement and although a bit out of order we go through the same things with a heart break. **broken link removed**

I never made my show, I continued to train and diet but I ended up fading bigtime like I had been on a jelly donught only diet. It took me a long time to forgive my freinds and family and trainer for that-they gave me a very hard time-made me feel like a quitter.

Keep your head up, take some time and vent all you want here people are here to help and care.