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- Joined
- Jun 5, 2002
- Messages
- 7,223
I moved out on my own on January 1 of this year after 34 years of marriage. The last 10 years were literally a waste of time and effort. I tried the online dating game and found someone very special. If you could imagine writing down ALL the qualities you’d expect in a mate and then have that person appear! Well that happened to me.
We had our first date a week before Valentines Day. She wanted to go “slow” as I’m still in the process of finalizing my divorce and she’s had bad experiences as of late with dating. My divorce will hopefully be finalized by the end of this month - only took 8 months. There’s no attorneys involved (they have been consulted by both of us) and she is basically getting “everything” and I get to keep my retirement intact. I could write a book on my marriage and this divorce but I really am ready to put this behind me.
The new love in my life had a massive brain hemorrhage on Sunday, July 10. She’s very much into nutrition, naturopath, and fitness. Early in our correspondence, she said she likes muscle. She tells me all the time that I’m cute, handsome, and really loves my muscles. You gotta realize this NEVER happened in my previous marriage.
When she got to the ICU unit, apparently had a clot forming in her brain that needed immediate surgery. She had a cap/section of her skull removed and they removed most of the clot in a very successful surgery but she was far from being out of the deep water. For the first four days it was touch and go if she would make it – was on, life support (which is normal for this type of operation). She would on occasion open her eyes and make facial expressions. I knew her subconscious could hear what we were telling her and I made sure she heard LOTS of positive things.
Operation was to the left-side of brain so right side of her body is affected (movement). Initially, after the surgery, she WAS NOT using her right arm or leg. But within a couple of days of the surgery, I saw her slightly move her right hand and foot. At that point, I KNEW that she could regain full use.
A couple of days after they took her off life support they could not control the pressure build up in her skull. They made the decision to put a shunt in her head. After they did that, the results were so goof they took her out of ICU and into a regular room. There were MANY milestones that I was able to be part of during her 5-week hospital stay. I helped the doctors make the call to send her home and drove her home.
Part of the deal with home recovery was that she have supervision 24/7. Three relatives and I were “trained” to be caregivers. I’m with her two full days a week. So besides being at “peak time” at work, I’ve been over there and trying to train when I can – got injured when I was in Pittsburgh for the week of July 22 – that’s a WHOLE ‘nother story!
But since the surgery, she has regained ALL of her physical abilities! She really doesn’t need much assistance with anything other than she still has memory and sight issues. Her memory is “not gone,” quite the contrary. She just has challenges accessing memories, long and short term at times. She sometimes forgets what she was going to say. I tell her that I do that ALL THE TIME! She lost the right-side of her vision in both eyes. When she looks straight at me she only sees the left-half of me. She would have to look to the right of me to see all of me and she doesn’t want to not look “at me.” I don’t believe at this time it’s permanent and believe it could be a temporary condition. She’s going in on Thursday to have the cap placed back on her skull.
I'm not a church-going person (at his time in my life) but do believe in god and the power of prayer. She actually came into my life after a LOT OF praying! So please say a prayer for my gal.
We had our first date a week before Valentines Day. She wanted to go “slow” as I’m still in the process of finalizing my divorce and she’s had bad experiences as of late with dating. My divorce will hopefully be finalized by the end of this month - only took 8 months. There’s no attorneys involved (they have been consulted by both of us) and she is basically getting “everything” and I get to keep my retirement intact. I could write a book on my marriage and this divorce but I really am ready to put this behind me.
The new love in my life had a massive brain hemorrhage on Sunday, July 10. She’s very much into nutrition, naturopath, and fitness. Early in our correspondence, she said she likes muscle. She tells me all the time that I’m cute, handsome, and really loves my muscles. You gotta realize this NEVER happened in my previous marriage.
When she got to the ICU unit, apparently had a clot forming in her brain that needed immediate surgery. She had a cap/section of her skull removed and they removed most of the clot in a very successful surgery but she was far from being out of the deep water. For the first four days it was touch and go if she would make it – was on, life support (which is normal for this type of operation). She would on occasion open her eyes and make facial expressions. I knew her subconscious could hear what we were telling her and I made sure she heard LOTS of positive things.
Operation was to the left-side of brain so right side of her body is affected (movement). Initially, after the surgery, she WAS NOT using her right arm or leg. But within a couple of days of the surgery, I saw her slightly move her right hand and foot. At that point, I KNEW that she could regain full use.
A couple of days after they took her off life support they could not control the pressure build up in her skull. They made the decision to put a shunt in her head. After they did that, the results were so goof they took her out of ICU and into a regular room. There were MANY milestones that I was able to be part of during her 5-week hospital stay. I helped the doctors make the call to send her home and drove her home.
Part of the deal with home recovery was that she have supervision 24/7. Three relatives and I were “trained” to be caregivers. I’m with her two full days a week. So besides being at “peak time” at work, I’ve been over there and trying to train when I can – got injured when I was in Pittsburgh for the week of July 22 – that’s a WHOLE ‘nother story!
But since the surgery, she has regained ALL of her physical abilities! She really doesn’t need much assistance with anything other than she still has memory and sight issues. Her memory is “not gone,” quite the contrary. She just has challenges accessing memories, long and short term at times. She sometimes forgets what she was going to say. I tell her that I do that ALL THE TIME! She lost the right-side of her vision in both eyes. When she looks straight at me she only sees the left-half of me. She would have to look to the right of me to see all of me and she doesn’t want to not look “at me.” I don’t believe at this time it’s permanent and believe it could be a temporary condition. She’s going in on Thursday to have the cap placed back on her skull.
I'm not a church-going person (at his time in my life) but do believe in god and the power of prayer. She actually came into my life after a LOT OF praying! So please say a prayer for my gal.
