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Why can I never be happy with what I have?

puck121

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Jan 22, 2009
Messages
9
I'm sure the answer to this lies deep in my past somehow but I just can not figure out why I can not be happy with what I have I'm always buying new toys cars furniture what ever pops in my head, I'm never happy with myself, my girl, my house, my job and now that I accepted a promotion and can't handle the job I'm about to be the first thing smoking out of there. There is no simple answer but I can't stand it anymore and I'm about to be financially screwed along with a deep depression.
 
You should always strive for more. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. The only real problem you seem to have is living outside your means. If you have a compulsion to buy without really being able to afford it than that should end pronto. Sell what you don't need. Pay off your debts and start over with a less stressful life. Pursue money and set realistic small goals. The rest should fall into place
 
It seems like you already have a deep depression and try to avoid it by byuing something, that is not really necessary. I think that you shoul analyze you life, your future goals, your possibilities. I don;t think that your real problems lays in waisting money, its only the way of solving your problems. The dark side of your depression. First of all may be some rest, some relaxation would help you to stabilize your emotional shape. There are also some medical preparations, which could help in stabilization, but i doubt it is reasonable to use them without the recommendation of medic. Try firstly by your means and if it will not help you'd be beeter to consult the specialist.
 
If you quit your job and are "financially screwed" then you deserve to be depressed.......no sympathy for someone who makes a decision to leave a job and then whines about their finances......but to your question, its got nothing to do with the stuff you buy, it has to do with that one sentence where you said "I'm never happy with MYSELF".

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk
 
You need to set goals for yourself and focus on working towards them
 
Hi puck,
I wanted to reply to your post because we've all be unhappy at different points in our lives and needed help coping. I’ll try not to ramble on, but I tend to stray away from absolutes and generalized one liners.

When you say that your past has a big influence on your current emotional health, that is correct, to a degree. Your “sense of self” is an ongoing subjective, malleable narrative that will constantly be playing in your mind. You tell yourself who you are. This will change depending on the situation. I’m am not saying that environmental experiences don’t affect us, but you alone have the power to decide how you process this information. Typically when people speak of their pasts, they take credit for the positive and push the negative onto others i.e. parents. That’s another post in itself.

I’m sorry to say this, but you will never be happy seeking only external rewards. They of course can help, but alone will do little more than make things more comfortable and provide momentary distraction. Unfortunately the western model of work and life is a very linear, achievement focused model. It typically involves the next “outcome” and not necessarily the process. Living in the moment is sometimes pushed aside for the next degree, competition, job or material possession. The thought of comfortable retirement is the ultimate goal, but that’s where the guide ends and life can ‘begin’. It is very necessary to practice self-esteem during your journey, live in the moment, and come full circle. This is why you will never be happy with anything or anyone if you haven’t learned to love yourself. Be gentle with yourself and stay positive. You’re human and you will forever be parenting your ‘inner child’. This sounds basic, but we all know people that seem to have it all and are unhappy. While success has many subjective definitions, happiness usually is summed up with “love of live and life of love”. Human beings have a genetically programmed “happy point”, a baseline that we will always return to. No matter if we have won the lottery, landed that position at work, or can experience a new woman every night. We will always work towards homeostasis. Your current state is not your set point and I’m not saying you will never be happy. I believe you will be and free speech is a great first step.

There are too many variables for me to offer you advice here, but I'll still try haha. I think talking about issues are a terrific way to cope, organize your thoughts and put the severity of the situation into perspective. Find someone that seems to ‘get it’. A person that is balanced, modest, humble and NOT a problem solver that will turn the conversation onto themselves for a quick spotlight. Find an active listener that you trust. This may be a therapist, coworker or it may be professional muscle lol. The confusion that you are experiencing now is actually beneficial to you. Confusion will almost always initiate change. You now are aware that something has to change. It is a daily process and you can do it. Be grateful for how far you've come and try to live right now as the person you envision yourself being. Good luck :)

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I727 using Tapatalk 2
 
Last edited:
[lang=ru]I am never glad with what I get, maybe i'm a pessimist or maybe i like to feel in this way. I don't know why, but I guess there a lot of people with the same feelings.[/lang]
 
It is one thing to feel generally unfulfilled. Generally, human beings do not reach a point where they say, "Okay, I am fully happy now and need nothing else."

It's this same desire to continue to achieve, be productive, have more, whatever that is the hallmark of all human achievement. St. Augustine said, "...and our heart is restless until it rests in you." By "you", he meant the Lord. Or, in other words, until you're dead. (Great. I know, right?)

But it sounds like you got some other stuff going on there. Maybe you're taking your own feelings of inadequacy and projecting them onto everyone and everything around you. It's worth talking to someone about.

I think you could get that all sorted out and feel much more content with a little help.
 
To continue to make progress in life, you must always first accept reality and appreciate everything you have. Try it. Before you go to bed mentally thank every single person that is responsible for you having what you already have. It is only through appreciation that you can push aside The Ego. The Ego is a closed loop that there is no escape from. You're chasing your tail with your limiting beliefs.

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.
 
i am hearing you are trying to fill a void and cant maybe look to giveing back volenteer or something
 

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