- Joined
- Apr 9, 2013
- Messages
- 2
I have been bodybuilding seriously for 2years. I am 34 years old. I have had a eating disorder from the age of 16 on and off until I was 21. I was 100lbs at my lightest I am 5'7 and have a big frame so if you could imagine I was just skin and bones. I grew up with my grandparents my father was in jail since I was 6 years old and my mom moved out with her boyfriend at the time. When I was 13-15 I lost 3 of my grandparents so my anorexia was diagnosed from not being able to deal with the loss and the control over my food was conforting to me no matter how much damage it was doing to me because it was the only thing I could control. Needless to say I lost 7 years of my life to this disease and I do not even remember much. I still see a councellor to talk about this devistating circumstance but its hard for me to remember anything in those years of my life which made it difficult for me to even remember any education. Not to mention my sex drive which was at zero and my blood work came back with testosterone at 0. Not to mention that my body did not fully grow because i was so malnutritioned during puberty. The only thing that helped me get back into the real world was marijuana it made me less concerned about controlling my eating and just eat. I later found bodybuilding and got into it slowly but the discipline and dedication is good for me it keeps me occupied. I have alot of acquiantances but not many friends because I dont give them the time or open up to them. I have had 3 relationships in my life with woman but my innabilty to open up had drove them away. I dont regret any of my mistakes/choices in my life because I am a grown man and know it was me who made them. I am only going to try to live life to be as happy as possible. I have also bounced around from career to career once I get settled in Im already looking for another one. I dont have family besides my dad but he is not a great mentor with his sentence he will be in jail until he is in the ground. I dont have much passions in life but I do love building muscle and transforming my body in a positive way. My only downfall with this hobby is my marijuana use I am scared that if I stop I will become an emotional wreck and go back into the same patter. It is sad to say but I really feel this way.
That is the best description I can give of my self and that is by far the most I have told anyone but it is much easier when noone really knows who you are.
Thanks for listening
That is the best description I can give of my self and that is by far the most I have told anyone but it is much easier when noone really knows who you are.
Thanks for listening