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Does time ever fully heal wounds?

AVelasques911

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Apr 2, 2016
Messages
163
I went through a really difficult breakup going on two years ago. I was largely at fault, I was very neglectful and really used to people giving me my way etc. and I guess I figured everyone would always put up with it. She didn't, and left out of the blue.

It was all on good terms. We never were the type to argue, the first month was brutal for me, as expected. We would try to remain in contact and finally we just took a good time period apart, which I feel was a good thing. She recently started contacting me through text out of nowhere, not really having anything to say.... just sending me a random comment, a song she likes. The texts are playful and flirtatious, sometimes she'll just send me a wink or tell me she misses me. But she also will try to ask if I'm with someone etc. It's very random and goes nowhere so I'm not trying to pay much attention to it, if I ask her to meet up she backs off. I get the feeling she's sort of testing the waters, she had a lot of walls built up when we broke up and it seems like they are slowly starting to crumble a bit (one of the things she told me when she left is she was very afraid if she gave me another chance I wouldn't change).

That aside. It's been two years and I'm over the breakup, I think i needed that reality check to be honest, but it just hasn't stopped hurting. I took six months off to just work on and gather myself. I then started dating. I've dated some amazing, beautiful, caring women ..... women that have great qualities and I would normally be very happy to be in a relationship with. But it's like, they aren't her.... even if they have better qualities, are more attractive etc., they just aren't her.

It's just frustrating. I've never had something like this, I'll normally grieve for a month or so and then move on. It's been two years and it just feels like there's no end to it.

Has anyone gone through something that dragged on this long, will I just always love her? I just feel a lot of guilt getting into a relationship with anyone (which I do want, I'm not into casual dating, I like the stability of being with one person) while she is still always in the back of my mind. I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Any advice is appreciated.
 

little slice

Featured Member / Kilo Klub
Joined
Mar 3, 2014
Messages
12,629
sounds like u might just love the idea of her tbh





she will get fat and u will be over it




just focus on urself
 

pesty4077

Moderator/ Featured Member / Kilo Klub
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The answer is yes. Like Little Slice says, focus on yourself.
 

Dave Perez

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Oct 18, 2015
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The wound heals but the scar remains...Brett Michael's, POISON...every Rose has its thorn
 

AVelasques911

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Apr 2, 2016
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The wound heals but the scar remains...Brett Michael's, POISON...every Rose has its thorn

LOL. Yeah I hear ya'll. It's just weird, I'm long over the breakup, I'm glad it happened. I've dated some awesome women since but it just feels "blah", the excitement I used to get from getting to know a new person etc. just isn't there, at first I wasn't concerned but man, two years, starting to be a drag.
 

AVelasques911

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Two and a half years later...... still haven't healed.

I've healed in the sense that I accept it. But it took me 20 years or so to find this woman that was everything I ever looked for..... I'm not stupid, I realize there are multiple women out there even better than her.... it's the idea of going through years, decades again to find someone like that that is so overwhelming.

She still texts me every few weeks just to tell me she's thinking of me and to check how I am doing. I reply curiously but briefly and she usually just says she's going to delete my number because I don't want to talk to her. It's a bunch of talk, clearly she still cares, but I need to be completely out of contact with her for a good year or so, just disappear completely.

Some days I feel like just giving up, just dating and sleeping around. I'm glad I fell in love once but man, I think once was enough.
 

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