Drinking

[ELIMINATOR]

I've been drinking booze every weekend pretty much since around May of last year. I never drink alone, but once the weekend hits, i have partying with friends on my mind. I thought that when i met a great girl i would stop for a few months, but it seems like it's still on my mind. Last Friday a chic and I, I have been seeing went to church and she's all for the dinner and movie thing, which i like, but I was stilling kind of craving wanting to go out to the bars and get smashed. Would you say this is what most 20 something yr olds go through? Or, is this a start of a drinking problem?

 

[oldfella]

I've been drinking booze every weekend pretty much since around May of last year. I never drink alone, but once the weekend hits, i have partying with friends on my mind. I thought that when i met a great girl i would stop for a few months, but it seems like it's still on my mind. Last Friday a chic and I, I have been seeing went to church and she's all for the dinner and movie thing, which i like, but I was stilling kind of craving wanting to go out to the bars and get smashed. Would you say this is what most 20 something yr olds go through? Or, is this a start of a drinking problem?

It is how 20 somethings start to have a drinking problem!! This is not a healthy option for you to persue. Sure once in a while go and have a few drinks with friends, most of us would at least do that. But you are going to have to start having more discipline to say no! This will not only lead to a serious problem down the road but will short circuit your gains in the gym. This is a case of not being able to do both. You need to find the right balance here, this is what our lifestyles are all about, options and balance. Drop the drink now for a good period of time until you can mange it more effectively. I was your age once and quickly came to the conclusion that drinking is way over-rated. Your choice here but think about your long term options first!!

 

[ELIMINATOR]

Thanks for the insight. I agree it could lead to a problem and I haven't made really any gains in a yr. I just met a great girl who is into church and kickin it at home. Hopefully, I can just say, "no" and stay home with her and do the whole dinner and movie thing. Also, it will be motivating to see gains in the gym again.

 

[abolish the weak]

I put in my dedication to the gym, dieting, and living healthy, maybe go out drinking 1x/month or two. Funny, because everytime I go out the same thing always happens. Some drunk slob will walk up to me in the bar and start talking about working out, and how all he wishes to do is get back in the gym and live healthy again. So I say to myself, it must get pretty damn old because there are plenty of them out there who sound like they'd rather live my way. Thats all the answer I need anymore usually

 

[triathloncoach]

As one who knows, one of the leading indicators of a problem is the drinker recognizing/questioning their relationship with alcohol.. Is there anyone in your life who doesn't drink that much? Ask them, don't make the mistake I made and ask my fellow drunks if they think I'm a drunk. But that said, heavier drinking in your twenties can easily be reduced as you get older, I started to regret all the weekend I felt hung over. Aa a happily married 45 year old husband and father, I wish I had some of the weekends in my twenties back. I would have figured out how to have just as much fun, without as many hang overs. Youth is wasted on the young. Oscar Wilde.

 

[Tyrone]

It doesn't matter if you drink alone or not...If you drink for the effect it still doesn't matter...It's a progressive thing and if you have a problem(s) w/it, it will prob. become too much for you to manage at some point in time. It depends on YOU...Does Alcohol create probs. for you...Have you ever been under the influence and had a regretable exp...If so, you need to create a positive outcome...and may need help from others.

 

[WildBB]

It doesn't matter if you drink alone or not...If you drink for the effect it still doesn't matter...It's a progressive thing and if you have a problem(s) w/it, it will prob. become too much for you to manage at some point in time. It depends on YOU...Does Alcohol create probs. for you...Have you ever been under the influence and had a regretable exp...If so, you need to create a positive outcome...and may need help from others.

Words of Wisdom here; I agree completely!

 

[OuchThatHurts]

I've been drinking booze every weekend pretty much since around May of last year. I never drink alone, but once the weekend hits, i have partying with friends on my mind. I thought that when i met a great girl i would stop for a few months, but it seems like it's still on my mind. Last Friday a chic and I, I have been seeing went to church and she's all for the dinner and movie thing, which i like, but I was stilling kind of craving wanting to go out to the bars and get smashed. Would you say this is what most 20 something yr olds go through? Or, is this a start of a drinking problem?

It sounds like you are a habitual binge drinker. Since you said, "go out to the bars and get smashed" - well, that's really two things (go out + get smashed). Had you said "stay home and get smashed" or simply "get smashed", that would have been much different. So you probably like to be social and being social while smashed is more fun, easier, whatever.

A lot of what I see with college-age kids is that they want to be social and alcohol facilitates that but they lack the wisdom and self-control to know when to say enough is enough. Or perhaps they have the control but choose not to exercise it.

Many people also lack the confidence and social skills necessary to enjoy an evening while sober.

Consider the possibility that the alcohol is just merely an accessory to a much larger scene or lifestyle. Maybe you just want to party. Who knows. The fact that you are examining your behavior is a damn good first step. You are "looking before leaping" as they say. That's a sign that you're starting to grow the hell up.

 

[cpesloco]

bump all...solide advice...use and abuse theory in effect. at least you see a potential serious problem.

 

[thebrick]

For me the red flag is, if you were having a good time with your girl, why were you "craving" to go get smashed? To me it sounds like a possible addiction. At least you see the potential problem.
Besides…
I have never seen anything meaningful come out of a bar full of trashed people. And I used to frequent many of those places years ago. One moment sticks out in my mind… I used to ride my Harley to an open air bar many Saturday afternoons to grab lunch and a beer. Every single time I went I would see the exact same crowd there, partying hard and all shit-faced by 1:00 or 2:00 in the afternoon. It hit me like a ton of bricks that these people were just sad… just pissing their life away. They were all laughing and acting happy, but I guarantee you they were really empty deep inside.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

For me the red flag is, if you were having a good time with your girl, why were you "craving" to go get smashed? To me it sounds like a possible addiction. At least you see the potential problem.
Besides…
I have never seen anything meaningful come out of a bar full of trashed people. And I used to frequent many of those places years ago. One moment sticks out in my mind… I used to ride my Harley to an open air bar many Saturday afternoons to grab lunch and a beer. Every single time I went I would see the exact same crowd there, partying hard and all shit-faced by 1:00 or 2:00 in the afternoon. It hit me like a ton of bricks that these people were just sad… just pissing their life away. They were all laughing and acting happy, but I guarantee you they were really empty deep inside.

GO to any bar at closing - 2AM. You have 100 drunk guys, 3 fights, 4 pukers, half a dozen skanks. It's a very pathetic site to see sober.

 

[oldfella]

GO to any bar at closing - 2AM. You have 100 drunk guys, 3 fights, 4 pukers, half a dozen skanks. It's a very pathetic site to see sober.

How true, Better still is to work in these places and have to throw out the drunk 20 something year olds for being.....well......drunk and disorderly. Not a pretty sight. I used to tell some of them that there was much more to life than getting drunk every weekend. I told one guy I was doing him a favor by banning him, he just didn't get it!

 

[Designbuilt]

I've been drinking booze every weekend pretty much since around May of last year. I never drink alone, but once the weekend hits, i have partying with friends on my mind. I thought that when i met a great girl i would stop for a few months, but it seems like it's still on my mind. Last Friday a chic and I, I have been seeing went to church and she's all for the dinner and movie thing, which i like, but I was stilling kind of craving wanting to go out to the bars and get smashed. Would you say this is what most 20 something yr olds go through? Or, is this a start of a drinking problem?

I was a heavy drinker as was my wife. When we first met, I was heavy into working out and got her into it. But with the type of job that we have, and the type of high rolling clients. We were always in downtown going to parties. I gave up working out. And was drinking daily. I would even have my favorite bars one a block from my house where I would actually meet clients. We would get our shit done, but we were drinking according to the owner. $1200.00/wk!! on top of that smoking, etc.

We quit cold turkey a little over two years ago. Then we decided to have a baby, we did, I started lifting again, stopped smoking (cigarettes, weed, etc.) for 3 years this October.

I never plan on going back to that, my clients respect me and my new shape, I'm a lot more productive now and I'm never broke.

Trust me, it starts with a little, then it gets easy to keep drinking. Day after day. We would switch our favorite drinks, and always had a ton of booze and reserves in the house, usually wake up two three times per night have a drink or two, then go back to bed.

But without exaggeration, we went through 1 gallon of either Ketel one or Grey goose per day. I liked Vodka Cranberry or grapefruit juice, she liked Vodka soda. Then after an eye opener, we would go to work and have a drink at one of the bars before meeting clients, then sometimes during and always after to celebrate a job well done.
(now keep in mind that the booze we had at home and work was in addition to what we drank at our local bar)


It stopped when we hit rock bottom, my wife fell down the stairs and tore her knee tendon, I felt so dry from my throat, I was coughing up blood. We prayed to get through this. Since we stopped, our lives are so much better and we almost never fight.

Also I want to add that I never really drank in college, I started drinking in my late 20's. So don't necessarily think that just because you find a steady girl that you will stop, it may just be someone fun to drink with.

My best advice after all this rambling is to just be careful and focus on working out and doing things like that with her.

 

[vegemite]

I used to go out 3 times a week to clubs and bars every week for 2 years straight with my friends once we hit 18(legal age here).
We would all get pretty smashed every night and have no money ever, I finally grew out of it a couple of years back. But most of those friends now pretty much live for getting smashed, everytime I see them or hear about them, its the same story. The only reason they work is to buy more alcohol and drugs.
Most of them live with others like them and just smoke and do other shit 24/7.

All that helped me was to distance myself from these people, which was f'ing hard since it was pretty much everyone I was friends with. I still see them occasionally and it's hard not "joining in" with them.
I used to want to stop everyday, I'd wake up wanting to stop wasting my time with it, but it's hard when you're around these people a lot.

 

[btech]

I'm 24 years old, and I don't go out and get smashed often.

I might have a drinking session once every three months. I get drunk but not smashed.

All of my binge drinking days were ages 17-20. At some point you have to realize that with drinking comes consequences.

 

[Jerseyfury]

I'm turning 21 in less than a month and I know the feeling. I know for me to keep it under control because I have a history of intense drug addiction. Keep an eye on that man and if you can't have fun unless your smashed, something is up. and more than likely, if you have to ask yourself if you think you have a drinking problem, you probably do.

 

[kyletmurray]

I know where you are at

Like these people I used to get drunk like 3 times a week, mostly in college. It started to seem like it was the only way I could socialize anymore or have fun socializing. I feel like a lot of kids get like this especially at college. It was like I forgot what it was like to have fun socializing being sober. I stopped drinking completely and I remember that I felt really uncomfortable not drinking going out with friends but its getting better now. Not only did the drinking make me do extremely stupid things, I take anti-depressents and have been on zoloft for almost five years so I'm like allergic to alcohol. If I go out and get hammered, I will be affected by it for several days later. Maybe no headache or nausea, but it will definetly effect my mood, ambition and social skills. Also sleep, totally effects sleep. Also when I was doing this I was in and out of relationships and I found myself lying to my girlfriends about going out, how much I drank, consistantly. I thought this was normal and what most guys do my age. I realized that lying really hurt people and hurt myself and I still struggle to forgive myself for the lies I had told about partying and what not. I also tried drugs when I was drinking that I wouldnt of when I wasnt. So basically I know how you feel, I have been there and when I said the same thing to myself, I kept going and it got worse, ignoring my instincts. Trust your instincts. Now I am completely straight edge and don't have many friends these days it seems like, but I guess just the ones that matter. You got to prioritize your life. Also if you don't read a little about christian life and things become more clear. God bless man and good luck!