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Funny story

HUTCH

Featured Member/Kilo Klub
Featured Member
Kilo Klub Member
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Mar 22, 2004
Messages
2,530
So for the past few days i have had these terrible gas cramps, I mean bad....When i get them i can barely bend over....So I am driving and I all of a sudden have to take a piss....So I try to hold it best i can cuz i am a puss when it comes to holdin it....At this moment I have some of the worst stomach cramps along with a bursting bladder....Shoulda seen my face as i am frantically trying to make it home...I am fuckin moanin like I am dyin and swervin on the road....I would have stopped at a gas station but my daughter is in the car and she is asleep....so finally i am maybe 5 minutes from home and i decide i cant take it anymore, something needed to be done before i pissed myself....Of course the only bottle i have in the car is my 1/2 gallon water bottle that i use all the time....I had no choice but to pull off into some neighborhood and piss in my water bottle.....what a great feeling though.....
 

Vander_V

Banned
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Joined
Feb 2, 2004
Messages
3,022
ONE WORD " GASX"
dude i fart so fucking bad not only does my girl wanna puke and leave the room but so does my dog i swear one time i made him gag ahahahaha i said to him there ya go theres a taste of your own medicine while he was gagging LOL cause when my dog wants to fart holyshit hes a nasty mofo, and will clear out the whole house no joke .
 

HUTCH

Featured Member/Kilo Klub
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Joined
Mar 22, 2004
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2,530
Ya i been poppin that shit all day...It works for like 30 minutes then pain again.....I havent farted in like 3 or 4 days, thats way unusual...

do me a favor and dont ever fart around me... :p

Mine are bad but i have never made a dog gag.....hahahha
 

TooPowerful4u

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Aug 29, 2003
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LMAO Vander.. i wish i could do that, i fart like a bitch, il let out sumthin huge and it doesnt small like anything at all!

I got a story! I was 3 days out from my show in april, and i needed diazide and this chick i know got me a hookup in north jersey. So im drivin up there 1.5hrs, mind u im chuggin a gallon of water since i have to drink 3 a day. My aldesterone levels were altered cause of the water, so water runs right through me. I finnished hafl the gallon on the ride, i get on the turnpike (u cant stop on there) and i got like 25miles to go and i REALLY have to piss. My ex gf was takin the ride w me laughin the whole time. Finally im like squirming all over the fuckin place and goin nuts, can barly drive, i see the exit n start speeding. Get off pull into the gass station. Now i pulled towards the back cuase i figured im not goin to get the key n wasting more time cuase i wont make it. I ran into the grass n started pissin at the back of the station. All of a sudden i see TONS of flashing lights coming from behind me, im like oh shit well fuck this im alreayd caught ima keep pissin. The cops started yellin hey buddy, i musta pissed for 2min lol. There was like 4 trucks, talk about bad luck lol. I came back n they were gonna like arrest me haha. I explained everything in detail including the aldesterone level thing lol, i showed them my gallon of water, my protan coats, im like u think im this dark this time a year for no reason lol. After a 10min lecture n shit n checkin my record they let me go n told me to watch it lol. I still laugh when i think about it.
 

RIV

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Joined
May 12, 2003
Messages
287
Vander.. you made a dog gag from one of your farts? :confused:

you do know that dogs eat their own shit right? and lick ass on a regular basis?

sounds very disturbing, i feel bad for the guy in teh next stall at your gym.
 

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