Girlfriends

[Philips]

Here is question I hope everyone chimes in on.

Say that you have a girlfriend or wife. When you get together with this person she is slim, fit, hot, sexy. Then over time she begans to lose her shape, whether it is because of having kids, just eating the wrong foods, being lazy, or whatever the situation.

(Most of the people on this board are into getting into shape or staying healthy.)

Is it right or wrong to expect that other person to get back into the previous shape they were in when you first met them, and if they dont then is it kosher to tell them that they need to.

Personally I feel its perfectly fine to let that person know that they need to get their ass in shape in one way or another. It aint right to present one thing and then later on give another, if ya know what I mean.

 

[BOOMSHAKER]

If you tell them they are getting big, and getting big is a bit unhealthy then I say thats fine. However not everyone stays the same in life. And if you tell her she is getting fat and you want her to see her slim again cause thats what "you like" then she can either do it or not do it. However you have to respesct what answer she gives you. Cause ultimatly it will be her busting her ass trying to look good for you and your selfishness. So present your situation to her, but respect her answer. And if you don't like the answer you can either stay or go. (assuming it's a girlfriend and not a wife)

 

[littlemack]

If you tell them they are getting big, and getting big is a bit unhealthy then I say thats fine. However not everyone stays the same in life. And if you tell her she is getting fat and you want her to see her slim again cause thats what "you like" then she can either do it or not do it. However you have to respesct what answer she gives you. Cause ultimatly it will be her busting her ass trying to look good for you and your selfishness. So present your situation to her, but respect her answer. And if you don't like the answer you can either stay or go. (assuming it's a girlfriend and not a wife)

Very well said Boom. I agree 100%. One more thing to add is that people generally change very slowly over time. At some point, reality may kick in, but I know you can go years without thinking anything about it. I see this alot with my friends who are married. Married life can really make you fat.

 

[lynx]

Here is question I hope everyone chimes in on.

Say that you have a girlfriend or wife. When you get together with this person she is slim, fit, hot, sexy. Then over time she begans to lose her shape, whether it is because of having kids, just eating the wrong foods, being lazy, or whatever the situation.

(Most of the people on this board are into getting into shape or staying healthy.)

Is it right or wrong to expect that other person to get back into the previous shape they were in when you first met them, and if they dont then is it kosher to tell them that they need to.

Personally I feel its perfectly fine to let that person know that they need to get their ass in shape in one way or another. It aint right to present one thing and then later on give another, if ya know what I mean.

You've been talking to JT? (J/K)

I think that anyone that gets comfortable in a relationship and then they feel that there is no need to keep up with their physical appearance because they got what they wanted. I've seen dudes get fat too, but mostly women. Like Boomshaker stated, they will need to want it.

If you tell her that you something along the lines that you don't feel her physically attractive anymore then she will not want to have sex with you much after that because she will KNOW that you don't like her body. I don't think it will propel her to want to workout it will make her want to avoid you looking at her naked. Women are a bit touchy about those things.

I agree with you though. It's a respect issue, one she should respect herself enough to want to keep up with her health. At least it is with JT and I. I always want him to find me desirable so I'm not going to get TOO gross (just a little ) and I hope he'd do the same for me. (BTW I'm a female, just in case you were worried. )

 

[Sigmund Roid]

I believe it is an issue of communication and respect.

Hopefully the couple has communicated their desires in that area of life before it becomes an issue. If you have stated that it is important for you that both of you stay in good physical condition, then there is no reason for one to expect anything less.

Illness, pregnancy, or injury have to be considered as instances where one may slip somewhat, in the area of excess weight, for a period of time.

In my opinion, an individual would want to remain attractive and healthy for their partner.

 

[Philips]

If you tell them they are getting big, and getting big is a bit unhealthy then I say thats fine. However not everyone stays the same in life. And if you tell her she is getting fat and you want her to see her slim again cause thats what "you like" then she can either do it or not do it. However you have to respesct what answer she gives you. Cause ultimatly it will be her busting her ass trying to look good for you and your selfishness. So present your situation to her, but respect her answer. And if you don't like the answer you can either stay or go. (assuming it's a girlfriend and not a wife)

I totally agree, you cant make someone do something they dont want to themselves.

 

[Philips]

I see this alot with my friends who are married. Married life can really make you fat.

LOL... Thats funny, but Im sure it is true.

 

[Philips]

You've been talking to JT? (J/K)

I think that anyone that gets comfortable in a relationship and then they feel that there is no need to keep up with their physical appearance because they got what they wanted. I've seen dudes get fat too, but mostly women. Like Boomshaker stated, they will need to want it.

If you tell her that you something along the lines that you don't feel her physically attractive anymore then she will not want to have sex with you much after that because she will KNOW that you don't like her body. I don't think it will propel her to want to workout it will make her want to avoid you looking at her naked. Women are a bit touchy about those things.

I agree with you though. It's a respect issue, one she should respect herself enough to want to keep up with her health. At least it is with JT and I. I always want him to find me desirable so I'm not going to get TOO gross (just a little ) and I hope he'd do the same for me. (BTW I'm a female, just in case you were worried. )

I totally found out the hard way about your first point. But I felt backed against a wall. Had a baby with the love of my life, she was very sexy, slim, and just downright beautiful. She swore, not so much to me but to herself that once the pregnancy was over she was gonna get back into shape. A year went by, two years went by, and I had tried to make all the little inuendos and remind her of what she said, which she probably hated me doing.

Really though. I feel like people could call me superficial or whatever and I just dont care because what it comes down to for me is that I can not be attracted to an overweight person. This might sound fuked up, but the reason I wont allow myself to be attracted to an overweight person is because I know that I can have someone who is very attractive, so I wont let that slip. Also I take care of myself as far as getting to the gym and trying to eat right, so should my partner, IMO...

Anyhoo she and I broke up, not just because of that stuff, but other reasons also. But what do you all think she did the fukin minute we broke up. Ohh I thnk you all know.

Yep you guessed it. She started hittin the frikin gym and she is doin a good job at it.

Oh well I guess if life were perfect then it would be no fun!!!

 

[Philips]

Hopefully the couple has communicated their desires in that area of life before it becomes an issue. If you have stated that it is important for you that both of you stay in good physical condition, then there is no reason for one to expect anything less.

Illness, pregnancy, or injury have to be considered as instances where one may slip somewhat, in the area of excess weight, for a period of time.

In my opinion, an individual would want to remain attractive and healthy for their partner.

I really like the idea of communicating this before hand. It seems so simple but really I would never have thought to have this conversation. My ex girlfriend and I are still great friends and there could still be a possiblity of somethin happenen there. If somethin does I will use your advise.