I will never forget.

[chap]

Okay here we go.

My wife and I have been together for tears. She was 15 and I 17. We have been through some very rough times .

After our second child was born I went of the deep end and cheated on her with a few different women. I couldn't live with myself so we split briefly but reconciled.

We worked through it. Now after years had gone by Things had gotten bad again just in the relationship mainly money. We had filed bankruptcy and were struggling. I was working as a trainer 40hrs a week and as a Cardiac care associate in the hospital another 35 hours a week. She also had a job making 15 dollars an hour.

She handled the bills and after Christmas she let me know that the power was getting turned off ,the phone and our house was being put into foreclosure because the payments had not been payed for 3 mths.

I left. Simple as that. We were trying to work things out when I found out that she had been sleeping with my bestfriend ,this guy was also the best man at my wedding.

Now all this happened along time ago and we have been back together and good since January.

Last night we took our kids to VBS at our church(which I do not attend anymore). And when we came to pick our kids up he was standing in the front of the church .

I flashed back.

Here is my problem. I love my wife and I know that she loves me. Do I trust her again HELL NO!!!!

My problem is that I think about this m'ther f'cker every day. I truly hate this guy.

I still on a daily basis think of what transpired between them.

I love here but still think about this.

WILL IT GET BETTER?

WILL I BEGIN TO THINK OF THIS LESS AS TIME GOES ON?

IS IT HEALTHY FOR ME TO STAY IN THIS MARRAGE ?

At this point I don't know if I have forgiven her for this.And don't know if I ever will. He was as close to family as one can be without being blood.

Thanks for the help. I need to get some therapy but I have no way of affording it at this point.

Finding a section like this on a board is great .

A big thanks in advance.

,CHAP

 

[EVERLAST]

tough times....

OK you should be more pissed at her.
He was a friend and that sucks, but in the end he is a man and if she came on to him then he will fall. Simple.

If you can't get past this and try to trust and forgive then it will EAT YOU.
You need to at least try to talk about this to her.
Get right with her.
Or get gone for good.

My 2 cents

E

 

[pesty4077]

Okay here we go.

My wife and I have been together for tears. She was 15 and I 17. We have been through some very rough times .

After our second child was born I went of the deep end and cheated on her with a few different women. I couldn't live with myself so we split briefly but reconciled.

We worked through it. Now after years had gone by Things had gotten bad again just in the relationship mainly money. We had filed bankruptcy and were struggling. I was working as a trainer 40hrs a week and as a Cardiac care associate in the hospital another 35 hours a week. She also had a job making 15 dollars an hour.

She handled the bills and after Christmas she let me know that the power was getting turned off ,the phone and our house was being put into foreclosure because the payments had not been payed for 3 mths.

I left. Simple as that. We were trying to work things out when I found out that she had been sleeping with my bestfriend ,this guy was also the best man at my wedding.

Now all this happened along time ago and we have been back together and good since January.

Last night we took our kids to VBS at our church(which I do not attend anymore). And when we came to pick our kids up he was standing in the front of the church .

I flashed back.

Here is my problem. I love my wife and I know that she loves me. Do I trust her again HELL NO!!!!

My problem is that I think about this m'ther f'cker every day. I truly hate this guy.

I still on a daily basis think of what transpired between them.

I love here but still think about this.

WILL IT GET BETTER?

WILL I BEGIN TO THINK OF THIS LESS AS TIME GOES ON?

IS IT HEALTHY FOR ME TO STAY IN THIS MARRAGE ?

At this point I don't know if I have forgiven her for this.And don't know if I ever will. He was as close to family as one can be without being blood.

Thanks for the help. I need to get some therapy but I have no way of affording it at this point.

Finding a section like this on a board is great .

A big thanks in advance.

,CHAP

IMO, your marriage is over. You started the dance by cheating, now it happen to you. It doesn't feel good, does it? You shouldn't be piss at anyone. You guys spend more than you have, way over your means, and it isn't because you don't make good money, just being irresponsible. Material things sure didn't help your marriage, did they? Working that many hours is unhealthy for any marriage, she felt neglected and went else where, it just happen to be some one you know. When you dropped off your kids to VBS, God was calling you in, you ignore it. You would have learn what a marriage is about and why God considers it Holy in his eyes. You need to move on, that isn't a marriage, at least not a healthy one. I hope you see this as tough love and learn from it.

 

[EVERLAST]

re-read your post...

Okay here we go.

My wife and I have been together for tears. She was 15 and I 17. We have been through some very rough times .

After our second child was born I went of the deep end and cheated on her with a few different women. I couldn't live with myself so we split briefly but reconciled.

We worked through it. Now after years had gone by Things had gotten bad again just in the relationship mainly money. We had filed bankruptcy and were struggling. I was working as a trainer 40hrs a week and as a Cardiac care associate in the hospital another 35 hours a week. She also had a job making 15 dollars an hour.

She handled the bills and after Christmas she let me know that the power was getting turned off ,the phone and our house was being put into foreclosure because the payments had not been payed for 3 mths.

I left. Simple as that. We were trying to work things out when I found out that she had been sleeping with my bestfriend ,this guy was also the best man at my wedding.

Now all this happened along time ago and we have been back together and good since January.

Last night we took our kids to VBS at our church(which I do not attend anymore). And when we came to pick our kids up he was standing in the front of the church .

I flashed back.

Here is my problem. I love my wife and I know that she loves me. Do I trust her again HELL NO!!!!

My problem is that I think about this m'ther f'cker every day. I truly hate this guy.

I still on a daily basis think of what transpired between them.

I love here but still think about this.

WILL IT GET BETTER?

WILL I BEGIN TO THINK OF THIS LESS AS TIME GOES ON?

IS IT HEALTHY FOR ME TO STAY IN THIS MARRAGE ?

At this point I don't know if I have forgiven her for this.And don't know if I ever will. He was as close to family as one can be without being blood.

Thanks for the help. I need to get some therapy but I have no way of affording it at this point.

Finding a section like this on a board is great .

A big thanks in advance.

,CHAP

man I re-read your post...missed the part about you cheating on her first.
I have to agree with Pesty.
Chalk outline and call it over with. Move on...

E

 

[Nikopapp]

Agreed, this rollercoaster has gone on for too long, there is way too much water under the bridge.

Time for you both to move on and find healthy relationships, this one is toxic.

 

[mrmarcus]

Once you get back on your feet bro split, your just prolonging,shit,goodluck,and remember GOD hates ugly,your Xfriend he'll get his bet that.....................................FTW

 

[chap]

Did Everyone miss the part about us being back togather for a year???

Things are good but What I said was this still goes through my head.

I wanted to know if it gets better over time? I wanted to know if others that had been through similar situations with the cheating still had it go through there minds and if it got better over time..


Thanks for the opinions.

 

[Jello]

Did Everyone miss the part about us being back togather for a year???

Things are good but What I said was this still goes through my head.

I wanted to know if it gets better over time? I wanted to know if others that had been through similar situations with the cheating still had it go through there minds and if it got better over time..


Thanks for the opinions.

You will think about it everytime you see her anywhere near another man. You can bet she thinks the same anytime there is another woman around.

You guys have both messed up and will continue to think the other will again. All it will take is for one of you to get mad and off to some other person you'll go.

 

[Babyarm]

When ever you start thinking about the other guy,you should pull your wife into the room and do all the freaky stuff you can think of. She will love you for it number one because you are going to be crushing it like you did when you where young and you will feel alot better after. Forget about the other guy and focus on whats in front of you.

 

[liftalot79]

I second Baby Arm

I had a Divorce. Now IMO I think an Unhealthy Relationship is one that doesn't go talk to somebody. Examples ONE ON ONE conseling a Must because you can't be the best to somebody if your not the best to yourself, second Couples Counseling, third Sex is a Must people need to know when & how there Partner reaches Orgasm. It should happen almost everytime if you know each other.

 

[cpesloco]

I had a similar situation with my good friend and best man. After smashing his face I felt a lot better; however, the thought still crosses my mind every time I see him. I will never forgive him and we will never be the same no matter what.

 

[skulbone]

Your ex-best man is a POS. Usually I say the other person isn't in the relationship, but not a friend. That's despicable.

As far as your marriage. You need to work through this if you want it to work. I think a counselor would benefit you both as they can see outside everything and give you clear honest perspective, esp when things get hard.

You have kids together so its worth it to them for you to be more pro-active about everything for it to work.

Go to church. You need it. Your marriage needs it. Its time to wash yourself in God's forgiveness. It'll help.

 

[mrs bapper]

cheating

I can understand your hurt and anguish. In my eyes if you truly love one another then neither of you would play the feild, i don t mean to sound harsh but being faithful to one another from the beginning is what the basis to a good solid relationship is all about, and without trust or respect for each other then maybe its time to rethink were you are both at but that is only my opinion. In regards to your kids put them first and think how they feell seeing mum and dad at each others throats all the time if you feel that you love her more than anything else in the world and you can put the past behind you then buddy go for it!! I hope it all works out for you.