My Grandmother raised me and I lived with her up until I had a family of my own and I built my house right next door to her! We lived there until my wife and I seperated and then she moved and when we got back toghether she made the decision that she wanted us to live in a not so rural area which was away from my Grandmother. When she fell ill I moved in with her and only came to my house to visit on certain days. I was very theraputic for me when she was sick to hit the gym and after a set just sit on the end of a bench and destress! She was always so proud of her strong and handsome Grandson!
When she passed I felt like i could not find any purpose to motivate me to do anything. I did the exact same thing u did. I think I was in shock and just numb. It was two weeks after she passed we were packing up and donating some of her medical equipment when I just snapped and felt like I needed to get away from it all! After the charity from the church came and picked up the donations I had just went home and slept but with that feeling of needing to get away still on my mind.
The next day I woke up and showered and just sat watching tv and nodding and yes dearing my wife like usual. Around 8 or 9 in the afternoon I just got up and said im going to the gym. I went in jeans boots and a tshirt! I sat on the bench for what felt like hrs on a sunday and just stared at myself in the mirror! I looked at my reflection and saw a product that reflected what my Grandmother had instilled in me!
I put some plates on the bench and set up a deadlift and I lifted and tried to clear my head. As I eased up in weight and got to heavier sets i felt more focused. When I got to my single rep lifts I was fully focused on just breathing and putting all my confusion and frustration into that single lift.
I didnt attact the weights I lifted very controlled and methodicaly. I went to the gym for asylum and used the weights in a theraputic manner to help me focus and get control over my body and my emotions. When I left the gym that night I took that focus with me and it helped me gain control over my situation in life outside the gym! The mind muscle connection is very powerful and I used this to help me reconnect to my life and adjust to its changes!
Hope this helps some and I will keep you and ur family in my prayers!
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