The man rules

[Ivan]

Here is something I got emailed to me that was pretty funny.


The Guys' Rules



At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.

Finally, the guys' side of the story.

We always hear "The rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

Theses are our rules!

Please note...these are all numbered "1" on purpose!



1. Men are not mind readers.



1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it

down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining

about you leaving it down.



1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.



1. Shopping is not a sport. We are never going to think of it that way.



1. Crying is blackmail.



1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do

not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say

it!



1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.



1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's

what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.



1. A headache that lasts for 17 moths is a problem. See a doctor.



1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,

all comments become null and void after 7 days.



1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to

act like the soap opera guys.



1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.



1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways

makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.



1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.

Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.



1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during

commercials



1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.



1. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. peach

for example, is a fruit, not a color. pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no

idea what mauve is.



1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.



1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like

nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the

hassle.



1. If you ask a question you don't want to hear an answer to, expect an

answer you don't want to hear.



1. When you have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is

fine...Really.



1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to

discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.



1. You have enough clothes.



1. You have too many shoes.



1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! (we here at PM are exempt from this I suppose)



1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch

tonight; but did you know I really don't mind that? It's like camping.

 

[StoryOfTheYear]

lol the last one's the funniest!