A little bit of a rant about really burns my....

[ironserenity]

Last night, I found myself pretty hurt. In short, someone I have been training, coaching, giving insight on supplements, and spending time and $$ on just decides to go out and get hammered last night, the night before, and about 3-4 days/wk the last couple wks. I know it could sound petty and stupid. But something inside me just ticked. I was so upset, practically heart broken that someone that is on good amounts of supplements as well as on MY training regigm would blow me off so hard as to just drink it away in one night ( not to mention the risk of health problems involved with drinking while on). not to mention, the decent gains he was making....... gone, since he began this new little habit. So this situation made me think...
I'm 19 years old and I have absolutely no desire to use recreational drugs or drink, let alone go out and be stupid while doing it. It is partially because I have never found anyone (aside from my GF) that really peaks the same interests as me( at least in my area). This has affected who I am popular with in the past. Anyhow, my point really is, that it hurts me so much when I see guys like us that are working our asses off so hard to look perfect and to be healthy and to better ourselves, and thn we look across the room and we see people just not giving a F***. I guess I've grown up in such a way with athletics that I always strive for the best, and when I see people just throwing their lives away, it KILLS me.
I would love for this to be a popular topic, as it is one I don't hear about too often and I know that a lot of bodybuilders feel the same way I do about this. I'd love to hear stories/input.
BTW this isn't about this one guy, this is about it general.

** I'm putting this post in the first box so people can see any corrections I have made and to more clarify what I mean after feeling bashed.

*I feel like no matter what I say, people aren't hearing me. IF THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT TO DO, SO BE IT!!!!!! IT'S THEIR FRIGGIN LIFE! BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT, WHEN THEY ARE PROMISING ME THAT THEY ARE LISTENING TO WHAT I SAY, AND USING ME FOR MY HELP WHEN IT IS CONVENIENT FOR THEM, AND THEN BLOW ME OFF COMPLETELY AND DISREGARD WHAT I SPEND TIME AND MONEY HELPING THEM WITH, AND LOSE THEIR GAINS. IT HURTS MY F***IN FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!! I do not see how that can cause me problems. I'm not even repremanding the man. I didn't even say anything to him! I'm calm and collected about the situation. Just kind of taken a back. I don't like when people claim to be devoted to something, but they are clearly all talk. Go out and party, I PERSONALLY cant do anything about it, and I won't. but I DO care.

 

[KillerStack]

You are 19 years old and "helping someone with gear"? How old is this other guy?

 

[ironserenity]

You are 19 years old and "helping someone with gear"? How old is this other guy?

This is sort of what I'm getting at here though as well. I'm by no means a know it all, I would never consider myself that. But I know enough about supps that I can help someone run a [ ]. Why don't you take a look at my other posts bro. I'm not a moron. I'm not telling everything to do. Just what to use and the basics and the person is 45 years old. Obviously, I've proven myself to the adult world... Killerstack, I don't know if you meant to, but that came off offensive. Thanks though
**but lets not get off what the topic is truly about. Lets leave it at this... I definately know enough about gear to know not to be drinking, that says enough about my age and knowledge of gear.

 

[TooPowerful4u]

You are 19 years old and "helping someone with gear"? How old is this other guy?

That was my first thought. I also think you are taking this way too seriously. Why cant he go out and drink ONE night per week? What is so bad about that? You want his life to be ALL gym/bodybuilding and NOTHING else? Its not that bad for him unless hes on tons of orals (shouldnt be). I think maybe you need to loosen up and have some fun.

 

[KillerStack]

This is sort of what I'm getting at here though as well. I'm by no means a know it all, I would never consider myself that. But I know enough about gear that I can help someone run a cycle. Why don't you take a look at my other posts bro. I'm not a moron. I'm not running their every pin and prick, but I helped him out with the basic underlying of which gear is which nonetheless. and the person is 45 years old. Obviously, I've proven myself to the adult world... Killerstack, I don't know if you meant to, but that came off offensive. Thanks though
**but lets not get off what the topic is truly about. Lets leave it at this... I definately know enough about gear to know not to be drinking, that says enough about my age and knowledge of gear.

You just gotta let people live their lives how they want to. Don't let it bother you.

Like TP4U said, one night of blowing his "plan" is really nothing. It's rare for a bodybuilder to live a totally spartan existence. This includes even the most serious of bodybuilders. If he only partied for one night during the cycle I'd say he is doing exceptionally well!

 

[ironserenity]

That was my first thought. I also think you are taking this way too seriously. Why cant he go out and drink ONE night per week? What is so bad about that? You want his life to be ALL gym/bodybuilding and NOTHING else? Its not that bad for him unless hes on tons of orals (shouldnt be). I think maybe you need to loosen up and have some fun.

I definately understand where you're coming from. I don't want this to sound like I'm just bashing him into the ground. My mere point is that this man PROMISED me that he would be clean and sober. He was making good gains and was getting healthier. and it's not ONE night a week. Last night was just what hurt me, bro. It's been everynight this week after work for hours, completely unnecessary. To each is own of course, but I came from an alcoholic father and I see what it does. I do think about gym/bodybuilding all the time (personally that and my family is what makes me happy), I don't require a beverage to be happy. You can go out and have fun without drinking your heart out. Do you guys see my point at all, or am I talking to a wall. I just think my true point is getting lost in the midst of cyberspace. I'm not hating, I'm just a little frustrated and slapped. I appreciate your input though.

 

[PHIL HERNON]

HEY

I definately understand where you're coming from. I don't want this to sound like I'm just bashing him into the ground. My mere point is that this man PROMISED me that he would be clean and sober. He was making good gains and was getting healthier. and it's not ONE night a week. Last night was just what hurt me, bro. It's been everynight this week after work for hours, completely unnecessary. To each is own of course, but I came from an alcoholic father and I see what it does. I do think about gym/bodybuilding all the time (personally that and my family is what makes me happy), I don't require a beverage to be happy. You can go out and have fun without drinking your heart out. Do you guys see my point at all, or am I talking to a wall. I just think my true point is getting lost in the midst of cyberspace. I'm not hating, I'm just a little frustrated and slapped. I appreciate your input though.

YOU CANT SAVE THE WORLD. YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF. YOU ARE 19 AND TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH BUILDING YOUR BODY AT ANY AND ALL COSTS. I UNDERSTAND IT IS WHAT YOU FEEL GOOD DOING, I WAS IN THE SAME BOAT AT YOUR AGE. STEP BACK, TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR LIFE.....REEVALUATE IT. I SEE PROBLEMS IN THE FUTURE IF YOU KEEP GOING DOWN THIS ROAD.

 

[ironserenity]

I feel like no matter what I say, people aren't hearing me. IF THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT TO DO, SO BE IT!!!!!! IT'S THEIR FRIGGIN LIFE! BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT, WHEN THEY ARE PROMISING ME THAT THEY ARE LISTENING TO WHAT I SAY, AND USING ME FOR MY HELP WHEN IT IS CONVENIENT FOR THEM, AND THEN BLOW ME OFF COMPLETELY AND DISREGARD WHAT I SPEND TIME AND MONEY HELPING THEM WITH, AND LOSE THEIR GAINS. IT HURTS MY F***IN FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!! I do not see how that can cause me problems. I'm not even repremanding the man. I didn't even say anything to him! I'm calm and collected about the situation. Just kind of taken a back. I don't like when people claim to be devoted to something, but they are clearly all talk. Go out and party, I PERSONALLY cant do anything about it, and I won't. but I DO care.

 

[MAINEVENT]

I feel like no matter what I say, people aren't hearing me. IF THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT TO DO, SO BE IT!!!!!! IT'S THEIR FRIGGIN LIFE! BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT, WHEN THEY ARE PROMISING ME THAT THEY ARE LISTENING TO WHAT I SAY, AND USING ME FOR MY HELP WHEN IT IS CONVENIENT FOR THEM, AND THEN BLOW ME OFF COMPLETELY AND DISREGARD WHAT I SPEND TIME AND MONEY HELPING THEM WITH, AND LOSE THEIR GAINS. IT HURTS MY F***IN FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!! I do not see how that can cause me problems. I'm not even repremanding the man. I didn't even say anything to him! I'm calm and collected about the situation. Just kind of taken a back. I don't like when people claim to be devoted to something, but they are clearly all talk. Go out and party, I PERSONALLY cant do anything about it, and I won't. but I DO care.

I hate to say it but to find someone as serious and dedicated as you are is few and far between. Unfortunately this is how 99% of the people are. I realized this a long time ago and that is why I only help people over the internet.

You have 2 options here; tell him how you feel and what you expect of him, or drop him and tell him you cant help him anymore.

 

[gtj220]

You will see many, many, people come and go in the gym. In shape, out of shape, come in steady for months, miss for months, say they were just too busy. You bud probably had good intentions at the time and then just waivered like many do. I train people like many on this board, clients come and go, commit, re-commit, bla bla bla. I will say that the vast majority wish they had kept some level of fitness rather than have to start all over again, I look at it as job security.

 

[ironserenity]

You will see many, many, people come and go in the gym. In shape, out of shape, come in steady for months, miss for months, say they were just too busy. You bud probably had good intentions at the time and then just waivered like many do. I train people like many on this board, clients come and go, commit, re-commit, bla bla bla. I will say that the vast majority wish they had kept some level of fitness rather than have to start all over again, I look at it as job security.

I hate to say it but to find someone as serious and dedicated as you are is few and far between. Unfortunately this is how 99% of the people are. I realized this a long time ago and that is why I only help people over the internet.

You have 2 options here; tell him how you feel and what you expect of him, or drop him and tell him you cant help him anymore.

You guys, this is all I was hoping for. Helpful insight and people UNDERSTANDING my point of view. It's 100% okay to disagree, but frankly, you don't have to make me feel like crap about myself in the doing. I appreciate these last two fellas telling me how it is and understanding where I'm coming from. I'm not a bad guy, I guess I just beleive in people too much, and like mainevent said, its unfortunate, but thats how 99% of people are. I guess I just need to be very proud that I, MYSELF, am as dedicated as I am!

 

[Delcoda]

WELL THEN....

I feel like no matter what I say, people aren't hearing me. IF THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT TO DO, SO BE IT!!!!!! IT'S THEIR FRIGGIN LIFE! BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT, WHEN THEY ARE PROMISING ME THAT THEY ARE LISTENING TO WHAT I SAY, AND USING ME FOR MY HELP WHEN IT IS CONVENIENT FOR THEM, AND THEN BLOW ME OFF COMPLETELY AND DISREGARD WHAT I SPEND TIME AND MONEY HELPING THEM WITH, AND LOSE THEIR GAINS. IT HURTS MY F***IN FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!! I do not see how that can cause me problems. I'm not even repremanding the man. I didn't even say anything to him! I'm calm and collected about the situation. Just kind of taken a back. I don't like when people claim to be devoted to something, but they are clearly all talk. Go out and party, I PERSONALLY cant do anything about it, and I won't. but I DO care.

Do this then. If someone you're helping "blows you off", as you say, then blow them off in return. Move on to the next person seeking your help. Live and let live dude. When you find someone committed to you and your help, you will know. As for all the others that don't respect your advice, fuck 'em. Life's far too short to get offended everytime someone does or says something you don't agree with.

 

[ironserenity]

Do this then. If someone you're helping "blows you off", as you say, then blow them off in return. Move on to the next person seeking your help. Live and let live dude. When you find someone committed to you and your help, you will know. As for all the others that don't respect your advice, fuck 'em. Life's far too short to get offended everytime someone does or says something you don't agree with.

Simply put and well said my friend. its not so much when someone doesnt agree with me, its when they disagree, but make me feel like an a** in the doing so. Thanks!

 

[Goldberg]

There is only one thing you can ever expect from another human being, and that is, they will only ever live thier life according to thier own sets of Values.

The only reason a person gets upset or dissapointed with another person is because you are trying to impose your Values into thier life, when you do this it causes resentment, when your resentful your not grateful for what is.

Honestly bro i do understand where your coming from, but if worry about others all the time you will bring on lots of health issues for yourself in the future. Accept things as they are.

 

[b-boy]

phil hernon made a good post above, and i understand what he is saying to you... YOU need to reread his post and let it soak in, your headed down a long lonely road bro! just my opinion taken from some of your posts so far. I would ask that you PM phil about his post and talk to him, he's been there done that. Please don't take my post as negative thats not my intent at all, just want you to be well rounded outside of bodybuilding and the gym and not put all your eggs into one basket so to speak!

 

[ironserenity]

phil hernon made a good post above, and i understand what he is saying to you... YOU need to reread his post and let it soak in, your headed down a long lonely road bro! just my opinion taken from some of your posts so far. I would ask that you PM phil about his post and talk to him, he's been there done that. Please don't take my post as negative thats not my intent at all, just want you to be well rounded outside of bodybuilding and the gym and not put all your eggs into one basket so to speak!

Sir, I completely see yours and Phil's points. 100%. In fact I already PM'd him however, I still think that somewhere my gears aren't meshing with yours in this post. I don't hate the man at all. My feelings got hurt. I simply wanted to see if other people have had similar experiences. I was looking for some moral support. Basically, waht guys like mainevent said. "they understand, but lifes a b***h." As a matter of fact I'm sure my trainee is paying for his mistake last night, this morning and fyi I definately don't have all my eggs in one basket. I'm stretched pretty thin actually. I just know what I love and I love it to death! I'm going to school full time, training and trying to prosper in my bodybuilding, preparing all my pre-academy stuff for my career in law enforcement, supporting an ill mother and spending time with my girlfriend to please her. I'm well rounded. Beleive me. I just know what I love!

 

[Tom]

values

quite simply you were hurt because he violated your values. But that's the point....you placed your values on his life. Obviosly he does not share those values. i never did rec drugs or drank alcohol either but that is the exception and not the rule. eventually i found myself on the outside looking in. you don't have to drink or do rec drugs but you do have to let others indulge in thier own(yes,potentially destructive) behavior without being judgemental or you just plain run out of friends and possible important connections in your life.

 

[ironserenity]

quite simply you were hurt because he violated your values. But that's the point....you placed your values on his life. Obviosly he does not share those values. i never did rec drugs or drank alcohol either but that is the exception and not the rule. eventually i found myself on the outside looking in. you don't have to drink or do rec drugs but you do have to let others indulge in thier own(yes,potentially destructive) behavior without being judgemental or you just plain run out of friends and possible important connections in your life.

That is very true. And thus why I still remain friends even with those whom I don't agree on values with. Everybody makes mistakes. Now is a good time to mention.... The man I train(ed) is my gf of 2.5years' father. He's a very good guy and he's simply trying to better himself ( he has is issues) but when he drinks, he also becomes mean and unreasonable to his daughter (my gf) where i feel I need to step in and protect her (but what can I do, he's her father) So there is certainly more to this story than you guys understand, but I clearly see all your points. Please put yourself in my shoes as well. fat burners make me long winded.... whoa

 

[Quad-smack]

IronS,
I've been a trainer/coach for almost 20 years now. It is a wonderful thing that you have so much dedication and passion for helping people. However, if you take an action that others commit or omit personally, then you will be facing many disappointments in life. As the saying goes "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" - well I have modified that just a little.
"IF you can lead a horse to water, THEN SHOW him how to drink."
Keep your chin up & what "advise" you give to others on the down low.

 

[ironserenity]

IronS,
I've been a trainer/coach for almost 20 years now. It is a wonderful thing that you have so much dedication and passion for helping people. However, if you take an action that others commit or omit personally, then you will be facing many disappointments in life. As the saying goes "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" - well I have modified that just a little.
"IF you can lead a horse to water, THEN SHOW him how to drink."
Keep your chin up & what "advise" you give to others on the down low.

Absolutely!~ I cannot beleive I didn't think of that quote earlier!!! The only advice I give is on training and OTC supplements. What someone does in their bathroom is their business! Thanks bro. Btw, got some of those BCAA's you told me about, should be here soon. I'm putting them in my water jug with lemon juice and getting a small dose all day as well! Thanks buddy!