Sigmund Roid said:
Things sound tough right now. Keep in mind losing someone you care about is right up there with a death in the family as far as stress is concerned. It isn't going to be easy. That is one reason so many people turn to drugs or alcohol in an attempt to escape a situation. I know in my own life sleep is where I seek refuge at times until I am willing to deal with a situation.
We all have a picture in our mind of the 'ideal situation', how things should be. When events tear that picture apart, it creates stress. Things are out of control for you right now and you feel as if you are at the end of your rope. That doesn't feel good. In order to get back to where you want to be, you must focus on the things you can control instead of situations and people you have no control over.
What can you control? YOUR THINKING AND YOUR BEHAVIOR. Thinking sad thoughts all day will definitely only make the situation worse. If the picture you had in your mind of you and your girl together isn't going to happen, change the picture. Think about some of the good things that have resulted or could come as a result of this break. Concentrate on those. Make a plan, set some goals.
Find some pals who aren't overly sympathetic to your situation and are doing something [like working out] fun. Throw yourself into it. Smile and get fired up. Studies show that laughter and smiling actually change your brain chemistry! No kidding. You'll notice that while you are heavily engaged in working out with weights or on the treadmill with the music blasting, you won't be depressing! That comes later when, you decide to sit around and think unhappy thoughts. What's done is done. How you choose to deal with it is up to you.
ive been trying to find people to hang out with, but i cant. most of the guys i do know, all they like to do is go out and drink, which i dont like to do. even if i was to go to the football games, 9 out of 10 people there my age are lit up, i just hate being around that crap.
i almost feel used because as soon as it comes time to lift, everyone wants to call me and all of a sudden im everyone's best friend, but then once thur fri sat sun roll around, all those people are out drinking. it sucks being the loner bro, kate was the best friend i ever had. we had so much fun together...but now shes gone for 10 months, and we talk like once a week. and i know she's having so much fun down there, not even thinking about me. im sure i dont get a second thought when shes out hanging out with her friends...which sucks because i dont stop thinking about her. it affects everything i am doing, i cant concentrate in class, i sound like a retard at work trying to communicate my thoughts because i'm not really thinking about work, all im thinking about is her. the only place i dont think about things is when im lifting, which is nice because then i dont feel like such a failure and screw up so much.
and most of the girls i have hung out with in the past all want relationships, even this one girl from work i thought for sure we could be friends, so we went out to a movie a few weeks ago, and word somehow got around that we were "dating" now, and i guess she kind of started it. i would feel bad about continuing to hang out with her becase i would feel like i was leading her on...not to mention kate would be jealous, even though she is hanging out with guys that have even tried to trick her into going on dates with them by saying a big group of people are going to such and such a place, and really they aren't. as far as i know there is still the possibility that we will get back together when she comes back, but thats in may...and meanwhile im sitting here dieing while shes going out and not even thinking about me. and hanging out with all these guys who supposably just want to be her friend, but at the same time are telling her how beautiful she is, and how special of a person she is, ect...
im just so lost here, i email her everyday, to say have a nice day and whatnot. and she says she looks forward to reading them everyday. i even send her a song or a picture or both, and she says she loves them, but she hasnt replied to any of my emails for like 2 weeks. we talk on msn too, but its just not the same, and usually shes talking with multiple people besides me, and doing her homework or something as well. i feel like im taking the backseat to all these other people........i dont know man, im just so tired right now. i guess i'll take your advice and try and control what i have control over. thats good advice man, thanks.
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