O/T How to go about this?

[Armageddon]

Things are great with me and the woman but she felt she was not accomplishing enough within her own life. So today she's at the state capitol being sworn into the army as a reserve. I hate it! Don't get me wrong, I'll support her but she knows that I don't like the idea of it. I just really don't kow about al the away time. That's alot of time away. 9wks for boot camp then I'll see her for a few days than off to tech training 6months to a year. It bothers me as things are great between us and this is one that I could actually see myself with over the long haul and she knows everything about me. We haven't even been together a yr, seems really early to not have someone around for that long! I know what I'll do which is submerge myself into the gym even more and my school, but I don't want to feel as a recluse. Plus I need her when my blasts come around lol
My head hurts from thinking about this!

 

[alpha-longhorn]

no one can take away what's rightfully yours.. You should definitely let her lead the life she wants to lead while doing your part to make sure you are living the one you like.. If it's meant to be, it'll still be there in the end.. If not, worrying ain't gonna do a damn thing..

 

[BrooklynJuice]

We haven't even been together a yr!

THATS WHY IT SEEMS SO GOOD!!!!!!

Depending on how much time is spent together, usually the 2 year mark all hell breaks loose.

I love women and I know women visit this board BUT it seems to me women are never satisfied. Never. And the best part is, they even dont know what it is that'll make them satisfied. Its absolutely amazing.



"Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not been able to answer... the great question that has never been answered: what does a woman want?" --- Sigmund Freud!!!!

 

[alpha-longhorn]

THATS WHY IT SEEMS SO GOOD!!!!!!

Depending on how much time is spent together, usually the 2 year mark all hell breaks loose.

I love women and I know women visit this board BUT it seems to me women are never satisfied. Never. And the best part is, they even dont know what it is that'll make them satisfied. Its absolutely amazing.



"Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not been able to answer... the great question that has never been answered: what does a woman want?" --- Sigmund Freud!!!!

part of living is to find what it is that satisfies you.. I think it's a great thing his girlfriend isn't satisfied with her life.. She's young after all..

 

[Armageddon]

I'd never stop her or get in her way. It just makes things alittle harder. I understand if it's meant to be then it's meant to be! I just don't like leaving things up to fate all the time.
Plus it makes me question my decision a 1.5 yrs ago not to go. What am I doing with myself at the moment. Alot of thoughts swarm my head. We've talked about it alot, I think she wanted to do the buddy system but never said anything as she knew I didn't go sometime ago and probably thought I wouldn't want to do it this time.

 

[Armageddon]

Brook I've been in relations ships over 2 yrs and some where good while other dwindled. But I think people don't work as hard as time goes on. Just like everyone wants to be big but no one wants to lift the heavy ass weight. Everyone wants a good relationship, but no one wants to put in the time.

 

[BrooklynJuice]

Well I simply made an over generalization. Obviously this does not apply to everyone. But....

After I hit 20ish I no longer HAD to be with a different partner every week and apprcieated more serious relationships. Since and including college I lived with 4 women, the last my ex-wife. None of the relationships were shorter than 2 years. My college sweetheart lasted 4 years as did my wife's relationship.

Except for 1 break-up they were all aimicable, and I remained friends with them.

Since my divorce I have been enjoying my freedom and living alone for the 1st time since high school! I guess Im a bit biased, nontheless Im in no rush to get into another relationship.

Back to the topic at hand, if you are dating a girl and theres problems before your 1st aniversary, then thats PROBLEMS. You say things are well but they should be. Everything is pretty much new. Those endophorins and other chemicals that are released when people fall in love can really influence someones thought's and behaviors. Is it possible she doesnt have the same thoughts as you? Seems contradictory to be having thoughts of a future together and enlistin in the army as a reserve, especially in these times.

Its a no-win situation. If you boot your foot down and say you dont want her going, then your a dick for not supporting her. If you support her she goes away and put the realtionship to the test.

Does she know exactly how you feel about her? If it were me I wouldnt allow it. She goes I go, dont believe in long distance realtionship over a period of time.

 

[Armageddon]

She knows how I feel as she says that she feels the exact same way. Which maybe true, may not. Guess we'll have to see or I may not be on the board for around 9 weeks. lol

 

[Got Juice]

IMHO i thnk that if she really wants to be around you all the time and is exicted to be with you she wouldnt go off to boot camp, and then go away for a year.

if it were only 9 weeks thats no biggie. however if she is going to some tech training or whatever for a year i would consider the relationship OVER. maybe tell her that in a nice way. you cant put your life on hold for someone that is going to be away for a year at a time. my opinion thats not a relationship. maybe when she gets back if things are right you can continue to see eachother.

but make sure you tell her, you want her to do whatever it is she wants to do. your not trying to stop her from going by telling her that you cannot continue a relationship with her, but thats not what you want.

hell, if you like a girl you want her company and to be able to see her on a dialy basis. being away for a year isnt a relationship that will last.

good luck bro, i hope everything turns out for the best.