Rediscovered happiness

[notsobig32]

Everyone,

I comment in here a lot and hope i at least offer somethign to the people whose posts in comment on. Here is a little something about me.

About 3 years ago i met a woman very unlike any woman i had ever met. She was strong, independent, beautiful and sexxy. We began dataing and i fell head over heels for her. She fell head over heels for me. Things were amazing, we both had kids from previous marriages and i had honestly never felt that sort of connection with anyone before. So after 6 months of happiness i proposed and right around this time i ripped my pec. So, the doctor was throwing painkillers at me left and right i was getting hooked on them. A friend of mine had offered us to try coke and guess what we got hooked on that. We stayed together because the love we felt for each other was that strong and we knew how perfect we were.

Well my addiction got worse and worse(i am not going to go into how it evolved but lets just say that it ended up being about $1000 day habit) and it eventually ended up with me cheating on this wonderful woman. We separated and didn't talk for months and months. I got clean, she got clean. And out of the blue one day she called and told me that she wanted a divorce. I am not sure what was wrong with me, i think i had been living in a fantasy world. She was involved with someone else, i was living some sort of halff-life. The phone call shoook me deeply. I went home that night (an i didnt use=-)) but i had a nightmarre about the rest of my life without this wonderful woman in my life. I took a personal inventory and realized just how bad of a person that i had become while being high all of the time. I decided then and there that i could not live my life without at least trying to work things out with her. Rather than gocompletely gangbusters like i normally would, i sought about changing the characters flaws and defects that had allowed me to become a bad person. I asked her(even though she was seeing somoene seriously) to attend marriage counseling. She actually agreed. So we went through marriage counseling , i lived up to my word on everything i promised, i have changed most of th character flaws(. so has she) and we have stayed clean. So shortly after all this she ovbiously stopped seeing the other person. I am writing this because i have my wife back in my life and i am the happiest that i have ever been. We are living together again, we are doing things sober. I know this is going to sound corny and emotional but i have not always been a good person but this is the woman who has always seen the man that i can be(and am becoming) she has always stood by my side. She loves me unconditionally for who i am. I wake up every morning and i thank god that i have someone in my life that i can truly be myself around. She is truly an amazing woman and i am very thankful that i have her.

Some people are going to comment i p-whipped or such i am sure but i know that the people who are my intended audience will understand what i am saying. i just wanted to share a little something about myself with everyone because i feel that you all share a little somethign of your selves on the board with me everyday.

Thanks everyone for being here. BTW Disney cruise leaves thursday!!!!!!!!

 

[RONJON]

Congrats to you bro..sounds like you really have gotten things straight and are enjoying your life! Have a good cruise bro

 

[notsobig32]

Thanks ronjon,

Its funny because for the first time in my life i am not looking for happiness everywhere, i think that after 32 years i found my center. I always had to try to be the best at everything i did in life whether it was sports, comput4er programming, everything actually.

I made some decisions to change my life took a job making a decent income where i am happy, moved back closer to family, gave up drugs(huge one here.....does aas count?), and really am learning to enjoy things. For instance, on my way to the car this morning, i almost slipped and fell on the ice and busted my butt. Instead of getting mad, i got to enjoy a chuckle with my wife and moved on with the day. Life is going great

 

[aeliop]

Happy for you

NSB,
I understand every word you are saying

 

[njpooldude]

well...

our story is ALOT alike, except.. i was using before i met her and it was her that really made me realize what happiness is. Not having 3, or 4 girls i could call any day of the week to come over...that wasnt being happy, that was being alone

Its such an amazing feeling when u have that someone.. besides ANY guy who thinks he wont be P-whipped when they get into a serious relationship has another thing coming lol.. i dont care how big u are, how cool u THINK u are... if you think for one minute your girl is gonna live by YOUR rules HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you and good old righty will be spending alot of nights together!

have fun on that trip big guy...

 

[notsobig32]

Thanks,

The love of my life and i have 3(i have 1 from my first marriage and she has 2) sons (they are all my sons i could care less about biology). And we are going to have a blast. When i was living the selfish lifestyle ii couldn't always give them everything i wanted to BUT now i make sure i give them as mucyh as i can.

Aeliop, i gotta say that you and marilyn's relationship is reall inspirational and it is awesome to see two people as in love as you two are.

I will post pictures from the cruise up when i get back....i am sure with all tha tfood i will come back ten lbs heavier!!!!

 

[oldfella]

NOTSO!
Corny? Pussy wipped?
Well I think not my friend. Deeply in love with someone, well yes that would be the way to sum it all up. Your story (the short version I'm sure) that you put up here not only is beautiful but took some real balls to post here. It is not easy to admit our faults and shortcomings. What you have shown all of us here is the human side of who we are. We all like to think of ourselves as bigger than life, unbreakable, can do no wrong, but in truth we are only human and were designed to faulter and eventually have failures. It is in how we deal with these flaws and overcome them that molds us into the great men and women we eventually become. Does everyone realise this, well no obviuosly not. It takes a great amount of souls searching and asking for gudiance to pull back from the abyss we create and come back into the light!

Your story has put a smile on face this morning and I am very happy for you. Yes it is wonderful to find that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Some people spend their entire lives searching for that one and never do. YOu are a very fortunate man. I wish you all the best in your new life together, stay clean brother and live long!!

 

[Designbuilt]

Good for you, it's good to hear that you were able to kick that habbit and make up with your wife.

I went through similar stuff with my wife years ago, and now our relationship is stronger and better then ever.

We have a son now, and after problems like those, everyday little troubles seem like nothing. It's nice to hear good news like that for a change.

I wish you and your family the best!

 

[pesty4077]

Well, if you are whipped, then so am I. Seems to me you matured into a man, by admitting your problem and then trying to get back the thing you value most. Drugs can be a demon and rob you of everything you have and evidentually it almost did. I don't know if you are religious man, but I am going to pray to God to bless your marriage and keep the demons out of it. Wishing you the best!

 

[sadie]

I am sorry you had to go through all that but sometimes we learn more from the bad experiences rather then the good ones. Sounds like you have a great new start and I hope it continues to be so wonderful

 

[alecaf]

bro, your story hit me deeply, since im going thru something similar. Great to hear someone be this happy.

 

[notsobig32]

NOTSO!
Corny? Pussy wipped?
Well I think not my friend. Deeply in love with someone, well yes that would be the way to sum it all up. Your story (the short version I'm sure) that you put up here not only is beautiful but took some real balls to post here. It is not easy to admit our faults and shortcomings. What you have shown all of us here is the human side of who we are. We all like to think of ourselves as bigger than life, unbreakable, can do no wrong, but in truth we are only human and were designed to faulter and eventually have failures. It is in how we deal with these flaws and overcome them that molds us into the great men and women we eventually become. Does everyone realise this, well no obviuosly not. It takes a great amount of souls searching and asking for gudiance to pull back from the abyss we create and come back into the light!

Your story has put a smile on face this morning and I am very happy for you. Yes it is wonderful to find that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Some people spend their entire lives searching for that one and never do. YOu are a very fortunate man. I wish you all the best in your new life together, stay clean brother and live long!!

Thanks for the kind words everyone, i am really happy and this means a lot coming from you OF. I went through the darkest time of my life being involved with drugs and now that i have been out of the darkness for a considerable amount of time, everything seems better. And i get to wake up every morning next to the one person who truly knows me(how great of a person i can be AND how horrible of a person i can be). Granted now, some mornings i am asked to please stop talking because it is just to early to hear how much i love her=-)LOL


Also OF, congratulations on your relationship going so well. I wish you the best.

I have to say thank you to all of you because it really speaks volumes about why this is the best board out there on the internet. We have SO MANY people that care. Thank you all. AND I WILL DEFINITELY be takking pics on the disney cruise to post up.

 

[Curiousity]

Wonderful story. Thank you for posting it. I'm glad that you were both able to work on individual flaws to change your habits to be together. I'm happy for you.

I think that you should write all this down and put in a safe somewhere, because...

Time will cause this feeling of utter thankfulness to fade as you grow older, as your kids head off to college, as you both further your careers, etc. Writing this down now, while the emotion is strong, will allow you to look back, read your own words, and remember this feeling. It will help you remember how far you would go to keep this woman in your life. It will help remind you what you both went through individually to be together. And those are thoughts that both of you should be occasionally reminded of in the coming years and decades.

 

[Thor]

WOW

NOTSO!
Corny? Pussy wipped?
Well I think not my friend. Deeply in love with someone, well yes that would be the way to sum it all up. Your story (the short version I'm sure) that you put up here not only is beautiful but took some real balls to post here. It is not easy to admit our faults and shortcomings. What you have shown all of us here is the human side of who we are. We all like to think of ourselves as bigger than life, unbreakable, can do no wrong, but in truth we are only human and were designed to faulter and eventually have failures. It is in how we deal with these flaws and overcome them that molds us into the great men and women we eventually become. Does everyone realise this, well no obviuosly not. It takes a great amount of souls searching and asking for gudiance to pull back from the abyss we create and come back into the light!

Your story has put a smile on face this morning and I am very happy for you. Yes it is wonderful to find that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Some people spend their entire lives searching for that one and never do. YOu are a very fortunate man. I wish you all the best in your new life together, stay clean brother and live long!!

this is so true, and I am happy for you two as well, and it is great to hear a story with a happy ending for a change, or should i say Happy beginning, anyway who cares what others think, you guys have each other and a great bond with and love for each other and THAT is all that matters.

 

[Creation]

man your story touched me i always worry about doing something like that, ive slipped so many times into drugs and i yet i tell myself i would do anything for my wonderful lady..so far ive been doing well..

im so happy for you bro that everything ended up working out..anything is possible with love they say its the most powerful emotion of all.

 

[notsobig32]

Thanks for all the comments everyone. Things are still going amazing. We are still in counseling and it is actually becoming a lot of fun. We can actually communicate like never before and i am constantly amazed by how wonderful a person my wife is. To me, it seems like I fall just a little bit more in love with her every day.

We have our little routine down now. We are working out together and eating right. All in all i could not be happier. We do argue but the thing is, our disagreements these days are small and last ten minutes, not ten days and they certainly don;t result in both of us going out and picking up drugs.

All in all, i think that her and i have built the foundation for something wonderful and i know that i wake up each day excited to find out what the day with her and our kids holds in store