True Story!

[Oldlifter]

O/T True Story!

So, here I am standing in line at the local Publix, with eggwhites and chocolate milk in hand, post workout. Well, lo and behold, I cut one on accident! you can imagine the embarrassment i was enduring! People behind me looking at me like I was some kind of Neanderthal, yet smirking whilst trying not to laugh their assess off!

So what does the little old lady in front going thru checkout say, in here weakened breaking voice? "Sounds like you need to get that thang tuned up sunny". OMG, everyone in line 6 almost busted a nut, laughing so hard, including me! Anyway, after that I felt better! *LOL*. That ever happened to you?




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[1love]

Hilarious!

 

[SitySlicker1]

 

[malcom young]

"Was that you or me?" seems to break the ice.

 

[railslave]

bro, i cant stop laughing...........................................

 

[Oldlifter]

bro, i cant stop laughing...........................................

You like that, huh? Unfortunately, the best comedic relief, comes via some poor saps misfortune (in this case, me)! *LOL*






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[thebrick]

I enjoyed that story oldlifter.

Another true one. My wife told me a couple days ago when she was in yoga class that night, its dead quiet and dark, that one of the women ripped a loud one. Pppbbbttt! She said nobody missed a beat.

Nothing like a simple little fart to spread happiness in the world

 

[Phidias]

Nothing like a simple little fart to spread happiness in the world

I may be wrong but if memory serves, DinoheavyD once posted some stats showing that big time farters had smaller intestines than rectally silent folks... eloquent proof according to him that all humans weren't born equal!!

 

[norbit09]

LOL.

I may be wrong but if memory serves, DinoheavyD once posted some stats showing that big time farters had smaller intestines than rectally silent folks... eloquent proof according to him that all humans weren't born equal!!

 

[tsimehc75]

ive been with my girl now for 6 months..fierst night she stayed at my house i got up in the mourning and bam it just came out..she goes "you pig"

yeah \,to say the least i felt embarrassed..uncomfortable silence followed

 

[mature muscle]

That's funny

 

[mature muscle]

ive been with my girl now for 6 months..fierst night she stayed at my house i got up in the mourning and bam it just came out..she goes "you pig"

yeah \,to say the least i felt embarrassed..uncomfortable silence followed

wait to you been together for a while and she starts doing it.not as funny.

 

[railslave]

ive been with my girl now for 6 months..fierst night she stayed at my house i got up in the mourning and bam it just came out..she goes "you pig"

yeah \,to say the least i felt embarrassed..uncomfortable silence followed

what a house warming......lol i have to say mine are pretty loud, but man did my ex beat me to it everytime.....lol

 

[Little Bear]

Back in high school we had AP classes (Advanced Placement for those who have never heard the term... basically college classes in high school) and we had to take the AP English exam (if you got like a 3 out of 5 you were given college credit depending on where you went... some where 4 out of 5 and some where even 5 out of 5... dicks).

It's in a portable classroom cuz my school was super over capacity. It's middle of spring and kind of hot outside already. We had JUST STARTED THE TEST! It was dead silent, and then all of a sudden I feel a lil rumbly in my tumbly. So I thought to myself, "Ya know... I'm a professional. I can fart without anyone hearing it. I'm a golden god at this! Been doing it my whole life!"

Boy was I wrong lol.

I let out the loudest fart to where it shook the people's desks next to me it was so deep. But needless to say the people around me tried not to laugh and it took me a goo 30 minutes into the exam before I stopped trying to giggle like a little school girl playing hide and seek.

One of the best experiences of my life lol

 

[Mini Monster]

My grandmother always said there is more room on the outside, so let it out.

 

[davidboy]

 

[railslave]

im enjoying this thread......too funny......keep it coming, i wanna laugh more....lol

 

[icecap]

Funny shit Bro.

 

[dabeast75]

A few years ago I was sitting in my company conference room and going through some papers. I had eaten something real bad a few hours earlier since my stomach was rumbling like crazy and hurting pretty bad. Then I let out a burning hot silent but deadly stinker that probably burnt a hole in the seat. It stank beyond horrific. Think rotten eggs mixed blended with some raw sewage. I think to myself how glad I am that I am alone in this room. A few minutes later i let another big one rip, real nasty, and just seconds later the door bursts open and the room fills up with people, 80% of them chicks, getting ready for a meeting.

The look of the faces of these people (especially the chicks) was that of pure and utter disgrace. they were all saying shit like "ooooh, god did something die in here?" and "i think Im gonna be sick". It didnt take them a long time to realize that i was the only one who could have done it.... and now i had people staring holes in the back of my head and those wonderful whispers starting all over.

I dont think I have ever wanted to sink into the floorboards as badly as I did then...

 

[BigDaddy_554]

Thanks for sharing this

I have not laughed this hard in while. The funniest part for me is that I related complete. I do not have a story in the checkout line, but I can not tell you how many times I am in a situation and one just slides out (audible or not). If the sound is not obvious the stench is. There was this one time when I was at a big box store and one slipped out. The wife in an not so quite voice said "OMG, is that you?). The isle had several other people in it and they all looked with disgust. I laughed like hell. She didn't think it was too funny.