I never go too heavy anymore. I used to go for 1-2 rep maxes when I was in my early twenties, and it hurt back then. I have always had lower back issues though.
I have a dedicated DL day, and I only do them once every couple weeks. Nothing depletes me like deads, I have actually made myself bedridden for two days from an intense DL session, completely fried my back and couldn't walk easily at all.
I use a trap bar, takes so much stress off the lower back. I shoot for 8-12 reps, I think I grow better that way and it is better for my joints and back.