MY GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT IN THE GYM CENTERS AROUND PREACHER CURLS.. about 5-6 years ago i was training in my gym doing some arm work.. i just finsihed up with tricep work and it was a more intense than usual workout.. i was feeling a bit .. well.. pukey.. so i sonder over to the preacher curl and start to warm up.. during my warmups i was feeling even worse and even dried heaved with the 25 pounders during the warm up.. luckily, the heave sounded more like i was straining then wretching so no one noticed..
i was determined to get bi's done..so i figured my blood sugar was probably low and this was the reason for my feeling of impending death.. so i mosey over to the drink cooler and get a gatorade.. i pore it into a styrofoam cup and drink it down.. feeling better? nope.. but the preacher curl beckons.. i grab two 45 pound dumbells and start set number 1.. during rep 6 or 7.. it matters not.. my gatorade forefully expelled itself out my stomach and launched itself out of my mouth with the force of a harrier jet.. along with this absolute loss of control of my stomach my anus opened and belched , rather loudly, a sound that .. for lack of better words.. sounded strangely like bubble wrap popping as it reverberated against the preachers upholstery..
now all this happened at precisely the same time.. the recycled gatorade actually landed in one large mass in a guys gym bag about three feet in front of the preacher bench..now gym rules were such that gym bags were not allowed on the gym floor.. therefore i am not responsible for the sad turn of events in regards to his gym bag.. but the loud wretch and loss of anal control drew immediate attention from all those surrounding the dumbell area..
now.. you would think this would end the set .. but, i am a gym warrior.. nah.. gym barbarian !.. i start uncontrollable laughter all the while holding the dumbells in the "peak contraction" position.. at this point everyone is completely aware of the sad fact that i have loss complete control of my bowels.. many are repulsed and actually run from me as if i had the monkey pox.. others laughing their taunt little glutes off.. as i try to gain control of the situation and complete my set i hear in the background "holy shit.. did he just puke on my gym bag?" now i know the set will not be completed and drop the dumbells..
so what is my greatest accomplishment? well.. getting 6 or so reps with 45 pound dumbells while vomiting fruit punch gatorage into a gym bag at three feet all the while losing control of my sphincter and not shitting myself and still.. yes, still holding the peak contraction.. top that bitches...