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This is weird/unhealthy right? (regards to sex)

Russian Muscle

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I've always had a degree of anxiety when it came to sex. Even more is that I have this weird hang up where it makes me very uncomfortable to be in a relationship with someone who has had more sexual partners or participated in more deviant acts so to speak (3 ways etc). Somehow I can better accept their behavior if my past is worse, which resulted in me trying hard to make it worse. It never really bothered me until maybe a year or so ago. Whenever a girl talks about her sexual encounters/experiences to me I have something of inward panic. Heart rate goes up and stuff. This was particularly bad when I heard it from my gf. I didn't want to. Also, I don't like that she is friends with her exes. They live in her hometown far away but she wants to visit and I don't think I'd do well.

Reading over this I realize it doesn't explain my feelings well but it's hard to put it into words. I just sound like a nut lol
 
I guess I'm not looking for counseling really. Thought it was a good place to write it down and talk about it.
 
I don`t think anything sexual from the past with other people should be spoken about with the new person. I don`t wanna hear or think about how many poles she has taken. If she brings it up, then she is a dirty whore and should be treated as such. Her mother should of taught her to shut her mouth, she is not a lady for the long term.... short term fun maybe :)
 
I've always had a degree of anxiety when it came to sex. Even more is that I have this weird hang up where it makes me very uncomfortable to be in a relationship with someone who has had more sexual partners or participated in more deviant acts so to speak (3 ways etc). Somehow I can better accept their behavior if my past is worse, which resulted in me trying hard to make it worse. It never really bothered me until maybe a year or so ago. Whenever a girl talks about her sexual encounters/experiences to me I have something of inward panic. Heart rate goes up and stuff. This was particularly bad when I heard it from my gf. I didn't want to. Also, I don't like that she is friends with her exes. They live in her hometown far away but she wants to visit and I don't think I'd do well.

Reading over this I realize it doesn't explain my feelings well but it's hard to put it into words. I just sound like a nut lol


Sexual inadequacy is what you are dealing with. It is normal and natural to be threatened by other sexual partners even animals do it lions kill the prion pride leaders kittens
You feel better having more experiences because it makes you feel that you were equally as desired as your partners

Also who the fuck wants to hear about past sexual partners
 
There's a lot to say about this but the one thing right off the bat you need to stop immediately is making the mistake of thinking that women look at sex the way men do (the hunt, the conquest, notches in the gunbelt, all that crap). She's with you now. Not because she has to be, but because she wants to be.

You can't do anything to make her want to be with you. Women choose that on their own (usually within a few seconds). The only thing you can do is make her want to NOT be with you.
 
I have seen people saying don't worry about the past and stuff but I don't agree with that...you can learn from the past actually

and a girls past is important, I'm sorry but it is ! It's like buying a car with a shitty car fax, yea the car runs fucking great now and has been fixed and everything but at the end of the day, you know the car was a mess LOL
 
There's a lot to say about this but the one thing right off the bat you need to stop immediately is making the mistake of thinking that women look at sex the way men do (the hunt, the conquest, notches in the gunbelt, all that crap). She's with you now. Not because she has to be, but because she wants to be.



You can't do anything to make her want to be with you. Women choose that on their own (usually within a few seconds). The only thing you can do is make her want to NOT be with you.


Some women do,and I know I don't think like the guys you stated above.
 
I've always had a degree of anxiety when it came to sex. Even more is that I have this weird hang up where it makes me very uncomfortable to be in a relationship with someone who has had more sexual partners or participated in more deviant acts so to speak (3 ways etc). Somehow I can better accept their behavior if my past is worse, which resulted in me trying hard to make it worse. It never really bothered me until maybe a year or so ago. Whenever a girl talks about her sexual encounters/experiences to me I have something of inward panic. Heart rate goes up and stuff. This was particularly bad when I heard it from my gf. I didn't want to. Also, I don't like that she is friends with her exes. They live in her hometown far away but she wants to visit and I don't think I'd do well.

Reading over this I realize it doesn't explain my feelings well but it's hard to put it into words. I just sound like a nut lol

Very simple. You are inexperienced and deeply insecure about it.

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Some women do,and I know I don't think like the guys you stated above.
"Some" do. Yes. Some. Most do not. IN GENERAL, women tend towards relationships. Not just sexual relationships but all relationships. If she can surround herself with many relationships, it improves her (and her childrens') chance of survival.

And yes, you do, maybe you don't know that you do, but all men do to some extent. It's in your biology. Deep down inside your brain lies the desire to propagate your genome whether you like it or not.

These are not things to be ashamed of. It has helped to allow your species to rise to the top rung of all other species on earth. Our behavior and discipline can help us to rise above these deeply-rooted biological desires and some may even snobbishly try to deny they exist at all but in the end, those traits are there and they are powerful.
 
I have seen people saying don't worry about the past and stuff but I don't agree with that...you can learn from the past actually

and a girls past is important, I'm sorry but it is ! It's like buying a car with a shitty car fax, yea the car runs fucking great now and has been fixed and everything but at the end of the day, you know the car was a mess LOL
But unlike cars, people can self-regenerate. Ever see a Chrysler fix itself? This is all bullshit. This is all just objectification of a living human being and there is no corollary whatsoever.
 
I don`t think anything sexual from the past with other people should be spoken about with the new person. I don`t wanna hear or think about how many poles she has taken. If she brings it up, then she is a dirty whore and should be treated as such. Her mother should of taught her to shut her mouth, she is not a lady for the long term.... short term fun maybe :)



Leave the past in the past. No answer is going to make the other person happy.
 
Dont ask women about their sexual past if you dont want to know. I would never want all the details of a new woman I am datings past because if she had been whorish I would be done with her. I would rather start new. I wouldnt discuss my past either.
 
I do appreciate everyone's input. A lot of great information in here. I should mention that I never ever bring it up because frankly I don't want to hear about it. But somehow they always manage to do it. I do agree it has a lot to do with insecurity (virgin until almost 23). It's an inward issue. However, it isn't something that I dwell on throughout the day. Out of sight, out of mind typically.
 
Last edited:
(virgin until almost 23). It's an inward issue. However, it isn't something that I dwell on throughout the day. Out of sight, out of mind...
This would have been good information to know. Sweeping it under the rug (out of sight) is not necessarily the best way to deal, but it's something I guess.
 
This would have been good information to know. Sweeping it under the rug (out of sight) is not necessarily the best way to deal, but it's something I guess.

Yeah, I probably should have put that out there sooner. It's a very complicated situation... that is my current - and first real - relationship that left me in a position of having to discuss/listen to a lot of shit. Stomach churning.
 
For the most part you can tell if a girl is a good girl or not, so no need to know every detail about each others sexual history, i think that is extremely unhealthy. As far as being friends with the ex I am not a fan of that and you should tell her that you dont agree with it without giving her an ultimatum. Women are like children when you tell them not to do something they want to do it more.
 
If she still wants to be "friends" with her ex. Its because shes craving for attention, ditch that bitch.
A guy wanting to be friends with an ex probably still likes to fuck her, i have never heard of any friends of mine that still sees his or her ex, when they are in a new relationship.
If single, thats another story.. Guy still needs to get some pussy..
 
The deal with her being friends with her exes isn't that bad in the sense that they live about 16 hours away. I had to tell her at one point that I was sick of hearing about them.


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The deal with her being friends with her exes isn't that bad in the sense that they live about 16 hours away. I had to tell her at one point that I was sick of hearing about them.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free
I think you should take a deep breath and relax bro. This is all new to you and you need time to learn how to cope with all these new feeling and subtleties that exist inside EVERY relationship. People have baggage. They have pasts. That's a fact and one you will eventually learn to cope with. It'll be alright. You'll see. Just don't take it out on her for living a healthy female's life. Of course she had sex. She has blood in her veins.

If it's that big a deal, you can wait around for a virgin girl but that could take another 23 years.
 
I think you should take a deep breath and relax bro. This is all new to you and you need time to learn how to cope with all these new feeling and subtleties that exist inside EVERY relationship. People have baggage. They have pasts. That's a fact and one you will eventually learn to cope with. It'll be alright. You'll see. Just don't take it out on her for living a healthy female's life. Of course she had sex. She has blood in her veins.

If it's that big a deal, you can wait around for a virgin girl but that could take another 23 years.

I hear ya. You're right I am a newbie to relationships. And I understand that and there is a lot I haven't experienced. All I'm saying is I could have done without having had to hear the tantalizing tale of how she lost her virginity to mildly retarded guy with a thing for watching his gf's mess around with his friends. Some shit I don't want to know ya know?

I appreciate all the input btw. srs. You guys are being really cool about this.
 

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