am i a sociopath? life of recluse

[Skins]

I'm curious.

Were they positive replies, or just more negative opinion of your profile?


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[Bleed]

There is a lot of good advice and comments in this thread. As usual, my multi-quote is not working so stick with me.

I love what OTH is doing here. Some solid advice from all you guys (some quotes I'm going back to steal for later.) This board and ones like it are great because they give guys who take care of themselves a forum to ask other guys like themselves questions like this. I have zero friends who are interested in any of the shit that is talked about on this board. I find they come to me for advice a lot more than I go to them. Their questions about women (and outlook about them) could not be more different. I have never heard anything like you guys are saying from them but I empathize with you 100%. You are not coming from the same place the majority of men are coming from.

You guys sound more perceptive than the average man. It is hard to have a real conversation with anybody, never mind most women. This isn't a female bashing comment, just how I've noticed things are.

Women are generally more interested in chatting you up and talking to you than you are in them, especially if you feel the way you guys do. If they are talking to you at all, this is certainly true.

I have never even hit on a girl in my life but I have never had any problems. This is not the same as asking them to do something or cracking a joke. It's possible maybe you need to not even look at trying your luck and see all the women you meet as prospective friendships rather than anything else. I have gone almost a year once without sex. NOT fun but the time was necessary.

I have a girlfriend who is beautiful, loves dieting, taking care of herself, working out, she has a lot in common with me. But she is even more antisocial than I am. Hates going out. Absolutely hates it. We try going out but it she is miserable. Even disliking it so much she alienates people I am already friends with. So I go out by myself but stay local. Local enough she can walk a few hundred feet and see what I'm doing, who I'm with, and whatever I'm doing. Not that I have to but because it's a happy middle ground.

I find this interesting on so many levels. I go out at most twice a week and everyone I've met in the past year and still talk to are guys. 30 - 60 year old men. Sound crazy? Gay, right? But I have a bunch of guys that are on the same page. Real friends. Dudes that can fix shit I can't, offer insight I don't have, and love fishing, hunting, etc as much as I do. Can you find a girl like this? Yes, but it's more like finding a friend than a hook up. It sounds like you are all looking for this but is much harder to find and is essentially the kind of girl you marry. But if you already take care of yourself, your not desperate, and you can enjoy time by yourself or with your boys, everything falls into place. Just keep in mind, most women are NOT this to you.

For instance, a night like tonight goes by where I'm more friendly than usual. Don't normally drink but it's Cinco de mayo and it was planned alcohol consumption. I am definitely more sociable when I am drinking (maybe I need to start drinking before I go to the gym?) Met a few new people, neighbors, couples, etc but I end up talking to a couple girls for 2 hours. It's hard for a straight guy to not get drawn into flirting even if you just find them partially attractive, even more true when there is more than one. Funny thing is, with the amount of bullshit they spit, I don't even know how old they were or what they're about. In the end, they spent more time fishing for information about me than actually having a legitimate conversation. It felt like straight up manipulation or interrogation. AT LEAST 25 to 30 years of practice. But how the F*(@ would I know? It's not like I got a straight answer to a single question. You just gotta be patient and work your way through this kind of nonsense if you are single. Or just be smarter than me and not waste your time. I wasn't looking for anything outside of conversation so, whatever, I had my needs met. You guys know that is how you are being looked at too, "can you meet a need?" It's a game, yes. But every single person out there seems to be playing a game. Can you figure out what that game is?

Point is, stick to it. Don't get so discouraged you quit. It's hard to deal with the bullshit but eventually you'll meet at least one or more females who aren't playing games. I've never done the online dating thing but I can offer a suggestion. I would look at most profiles from women like first conversations with women; Do not take it too seriously or deep. It will be full of vacuous comments because they are doing what all women do when you meet them: trying to disqualify you. But look at it like this, when you have their profile, you have the option of ever even contacting them or not. And it makes it a key stroke rather than drinks. The cards are in your hand this way.

Just some perspective, good women deal with this all the time too. It's why my girlfriend hates talking to even my friends. Most of them completely change their demeanor when they talk to her. Not intentionally. How much more is some girl you are meeting for the first time going to do this to you? A lot. I have one friend I've known for 27 years now. It's funny watching him talk to any of my girls past or present. If most guys acted that way, they would have a lot more success.

Try to keep a positive attitude. Sometimes it feels impossible. Regardless of how you feel about your looks (good or bad), tattoos, bank accounts, self-worth, when you compare yourself with men of comparable age etc, you will find you are actually in a better spot than you think.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

... As usual, I enjoy Ouch's wide spectrum, yet duly poignant perspective.

Wide spectrum? I would doubt or even suspect the above person(s) to be exhibiting or showing any signs of sociopathology. Sorry to keep it so wide open! I hope I'm just reading that wrong.


In any case, y'all are safe. That's the good news. Focus on that.

 

[ajdos]

I'm curious.

Were they positive replies, or just more negative opinion of your profile?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The responses were across the board. I had one woman email me just to say I looked stupid with my shirt off ( I have bodybuilding competition photos ).
Some women just gave me cat calls>

Questions about muscle, training, diet, etc...

Some women just wanted sex.

Most were ridiculously unnatractive.

A couple were interesting to talk to, but lost interest quickly and blew them off.

ONE woman actually read my profile and complimented me saying that she thought I was smart.

For the most part, it was sad, lonely, desperate and angry women.

 

[ajdos]

There is a lot of good advice and comments in this thread. As usual, my multi-quote is not working so stick with me.

I love what OTH is doing here. Some solid advice from all you guys (some quotes I'm going back to steal for later.) This board and ones like it are great because they give guys who take care of themselves a forum to ask other guys like themselves questions like this. I have zero friends who are interested in any of the shit that is talked about on this board. I find they come to me for advice a lot more than I go to them. Their questions about women (and outlook about them) could not be more different. I have never heard anything like you guys are saying from them but I empathize with you 100%. You are not coming from the same place the majority of men are coming from.

You guys sound more perceptive than the average man. It is hard to have a real conversation with anybody, never mind most women. This isn't a female bashing comment, just how I've noticed things are.

Women are generally more interested in chatting you up and talking to you than you are in them, especially if you feel the way you guys do. If they are talking to you at all, this is certainly true.

I have never even hit on a girl in my life but I have never had any problems. This is not the same as asking them to do something or cracking a joke. It's possible maybe you need to not even look at trying your luck and see all the women you meet as prospective friendships rather than anything else. I have gone almost a year once without sex. NOT fun but the time was necessary.

I have a girlfriend who is beautiful, loves dieting, taking care of herself, working out, she has a lot in common with me. But she is even more antisocial than I am. Hates going out. Absolutely hates it. We try going out but it she is miserable. Even disliking it so much she alienates people I am already friends with. So I go out by myself but stay local. Local enough she can walk a few hundred feet and see what I'm doing, who I'm with, and whatever I'm doing. Not that I have to but because it's a happy middle ground.

I find this interesting on so many levels. I go out at most twice a week and everyone I've met in the past year and still talk to are guys. 30 - 60 year old men. Sound crazy? Gay, right? But I have a bunch of guys that are on the same page. Real friends. Dudes that can fix shit I can't, offer insight I don't have, and love fishing, hunting, etc as much as I do. Can you find a girl like this? Yes, but it's more like finding a friend than a hook up. It sounds like you are all looking for this but is much harder to find and is essentially the kind of girl you marry. But if you already take care of yourself, your not desperate, and you can enjoy time by yourself or with your boys, everything falls into place. Just keep in mind, most women are NOT this to you.

For instance, a night like tonight goes by where I'm more friendly than usual. Don't normally drink but it's Cinco de mayo and it was planned alcohol consumption. I am definitely more sociable when I am drinking (maybe I need to start drinking before I go to the gym?) Met a few new people, neighbors, couples, etc but I end up talking to a couple girls for 2 hours. It's hard for a straight guy to not get drawn into flirting even if you just find them partially attractive, even more true when there is more than one. Funny thing is, with the amount of bullshit they spit, I don't even know how old they were or what they're about. In the end, they spent more time fishing for information about me than actually having a legitimate conversation. It felt like straight up manipulation or interrogation. AT LEAST 25 to 30 years of practice. But how the F*(@ would I know? It's not like I got a straight answer to a single question. You just gotta be patient and work your way through this kind of nonsense if you are single. Or just be smarter than me and not waste your time. I wasn't looking for anything outside of conversation so, whatever, I had my needs met. You guys know that is how you are being looked at too, "can you meet a need?" It's a game, yes. But every single person out there seems to be playing a game. Can you figure out what that game is?

Point is, stick to it. Don't get so discouraged you quit. It's hard to deal with the bullshit but eventually you'll meet at least one or more females who aren't playing games. I've never done the online dating thing but I can offer a suggestion. I would look at most profiles from women like first conversations with women; Do not take it too seriously or deep. It will be full of vacuous comments because they are doing what all women do when you meet them: trying to disqualify you. But look at it like this, when you have their profile, you have the option of ever even contacting them or not. And it makes it a key stroke rather than drinks. The cards are in your hand this way.

Just some perspective, good women deal with this all the time too. It's why my girlfriend hates talking to even my friends. Most of them completely change their demeanor when they talk to her. Not intentionally. How much more is some girl you are meeting for the first time going to do this to you? A lot. I have one friend I've known for 27 years now. It's funny watching him talk to any of my girls past or present. If most guys acted that way, they would have a lot more success.

Try to keep a positive attitude. Sometimes it feels impossible. Regardless of how you feel about your looks (good or bad), tattoos, bank accounts, self-worth, when you compare yourself with men of comparable age etc, you will find you are actually in a better spot than you think.

Interesting stuff Bleed.
I know I come off like a woman hater at times, I dont hate women, I think they do some ridiculously irrational shit, and like OTH said in another thread that women have gotten out of hand with their brutal emasculating they perform on men in general, and our society seems ok with that.
Well Im not.
I have met women who were down right pieces of shit, and I was unlucky enough to be married to one, and lucky enough to divorce her ass.
Years later and several relationships later I have reached a point where I no longer care. Its a conflict of my mind and my sex drive.
Drive says get laid at all cost, my mind however has become the stronger of the two and says to me that they all seem great in the begining when your getting sex, but they always end up being rotten to the core and I regret getting involved.

The flip side of that coin is that Im a three time ex-con. I managed to stay out of trouble for 20 yrs but my recent incarceration makes me feel like I spent my life in and out of prisons now- its a matter of perspective.
But I dont feel like involving myself with ANYONE, I dont want t bring my problems into someones life. If I met someone and I liked them the terrible thing is I would try harder to not be with them because I wouldnt want to poison their life with me.

I am a good guy, but I have serious life problems, and Im not going to lie to people about them, no matter how I look at it, any quality relationship with a good woman is about as likely as me winning the lottery.

 

[BKCE87]

Being an introvert doesn't make you a sociopath at all in my opinion. As I have gotten older (still in my late 20s), I have just lost the desire to regularly hang out with other people. I enjoy conversation with people, and have a few close friends I just have NO desire to hang out regularly with most. I also prefer to just be by myself usually, reading, cooking, and training. When I was in college I forced myself to go out and be social, I just NEVER truly enjoyed it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the company of others (on occasion) and greatly enjoy conversing with people at work, gym, wherever..I just prefer to be by myself and am satisfied doing so.