Rant about life

[tinypeter]

I'm pretty numb to life these days it seems. It all just runs together like one long episode.
I'm no long doing manual labor trades and tree work ECT so I'm not making the kinda of money I'm used to and that sucks.
Something in me just said I'm done with it all burnt out on it all. Don't want to run the crews manage the men/ children I call them nowadays or work the 60 to 70+ hrs a week.

Tiered of being so wore out end of day I didnt lift for 6 years or so and quality of life sucked regardless of the money I was making.
Dating is just for comedy it seems these days. Hook up with em and send em home that's all I seem to want or need woman for.
No family, no friends.
No one calls unless they need or want something
Every ones either a work acquaintance or gym acquaintance ect.

Video games have all turned to shit and I've played since nes. quit drinking and smoking weed aug 4th of this last year and got back in the gym then also.
That's pretty much my existence right now eat sleep train work. Repeat repeat repeat.

Summer will be here soon and I'm thinking of getting a kayak for the lake idk.

Grateful to be alive, sober and all the chances I've been given over and over. What friends and Gfs I've had that came and gone.
The experiences good and bad I've had that others will never experience.
What love I've been given and love I've tried to return.

If I have any advice I hope some one will listen to
Is life is short so enjoy it as much as possible.
Ride the wave baby!

Rant over

 

[mitochondria]

alls I can say when something is making me not happy, i make a change

 

[Performance Based]

Sounds like you're in a bit of a rough patch: I've been at rock bottom a handful of times and it is a unique place for each individual.

1) I would highly recommend starting the practice of gratitude
2) Look into a psilocybin or ibogaine retreat
3) Identify 3-4 skills you would like to learn over the next year or two. Pilots licensure, EMT, Spanish, etc.
4) Pick up and move for a legitimate fresh start - somewhere offering vertical options regarding your career and a descent cost of living
5) Finding a tribe - this is mandatory. We aren't meant to be solitary creatures, this world sort of forces you into it. My wife and her family quite literally have saved my life.

 

[Muay Thai]

study philosophy and psychology and dive deep

 

[goback2013]

A couple years back I was dealt a life changing blow that I'm still working on trying shake.
Since that time I've been on a war path so to speak. For the most part I've nothing but FUCK YOUs as I walk around with a chip on my shoulder.
Re: skill
I've always wanted to have exceptional cardio. So I decided on just focusing on zone 2 cardio sessions at 1hr each session. Thus far it's been working. Not only that it's calmed my mood a bit.
Like OP, relationships are I can take um or leave um.

 

[Oldwhitedude]

Sounds like you're in a bit of a rough patch: I've been at rock bottom a handful of times and it is a unique place for each individual.

1) I would highly recommend starting the practice of gratitude
2) Look into a psilocybin or ibogaine retreat
3) Identify 3-4 skills you would like to learn over the next year or two. Pilots licensure, EMT, Spanish, etc.
4) Pick up and move for a legitimate fresh start - somewhere offering vertical options regarding your career and a descent cost of living
5) Finding a tribe - this is mandatory. We aren't meant to be solitary creatures, this world sort of forces you into it. My wife and her family quite literally have saved my life.

Microdosing psilocybin has had a small but noticeable effect on my mood. I found as I got older I got more withdrawn. Not unhappy or depressed but certainly less and less excited for social activities. The 'get off my lawn' phenomenon. More likely to cut people off my life.

Which is all fine and well until you realize you're just setting yourself up for a very lonely existence. Eventually the loneliness would hit and soon thereafter the depression. So I knew I had to make some life changes. Fortunately I have a lovely wife and amazing brothers so I'll never be truly lonely but still, life is about maximizing.

Psilocybin made me more resilient to social activities. I would no longer get home after a party and need solitude, my mind was much more open.

Last year and continuing to this year my personal life goal is all about increasing the quality of friends I regularly spend time with. I'm out at least once a week doing something social now and feel nothing but positives.

This was all from 0.3g twice a week, and of course my willingness to engage, explore and grow.

 

[Jefe]

I’m not trying to minimize your experience so please bear with me,

1) you quit recreational use. Great!
2) back in the gym
3) women still seem to like you

I know I’m depressed when I lose interest in video games.

Maybe work keeping you out of the gym affected you. I fall apart when I don’t get exercise or eat right. I have underlying health issues that demand those.