Ayone else feel this way??

[full_belly]

I'm not that big but alot of people tell me that there is something intimidating about me. I cannot tell you how many people (especially girls) have told me that they were shocked when they got to know me what I was really like.

I'm married now and don't really care a whole lot about going out/friends ect, you know who your freinds are when you have kids and move 24 miles away. Shit most of my "boys" have never even been to my house, in 4 years!

But I started thinking about his actually a week or so ago, about the "something about you is intimidating" thing. I started to look at people that I see in public places, especially the gym and looked for people that gave ME that kind of feeling. Like they were the type of person that is kind of intimidating, would ignore you if you said "hi" to them or whatever. Whenever I see someone like that lately I have made an effort to figure out what exactly was giving me that feeling about them. I noticed that usually they tend to avoid eye contact, kind of just ignore everyone around them, overall just behave just a little different than most people. There really is a way that you carry yourself that kind of puts off a, not so much "I'm a badass" but just a "don't approach me" kind of aura.

I realized that I do many of these behaviors when I don't know someone. Much of it is actually out of respect for them, for example women, I tend to avoid eye contact, avoid looking at women because I don't want them to feel like I'm checking them out, looking at their ass while they workout, I really don't look because you know people can see you in the mirrors when you can't see them b/c I see women looking at me when I'm lifting in the mirrors, but I don't look, out of respect and to not be creepy.

But the thing is, that behavior that I intend to not be creepy, IS what's creepy. Or intimidating b/c the people that do that to me give me that same feeling. So I have been trying to act different, say hello to people I don't know, carry myself more like other people..

Try that, I'll bet you will find it's the same thing. As far as your friends, my friends leave me out of all kinds of stuff, I guess I piss them off or whatever sometimes, I just don't care anymore, my new concept is just meet more and more people and have more and more friends.

Guys, heres a view point from a shaved head 6 foot, fella.. im only just ova 240 so im not BIGGG but definately look like a lifter I guess..
I NEVER have people avoid me or get intimidated (90+%) the only time i might put people off is if im being loud and silly(ie hyperactive) i do love bein childish, i work in a gym and making people laugh at me passes the day..

Im from new zealand and after travelling and workinh in canada,alaska, australia, uk, africa etc.... NO ONE smiles at strangers as they walk past, if you big and do this people think you are agro even tho I know you probly arent at all!!!!!

I smile at EVERYONE!!!!!! not over the top just a lil smile or a "hey" when speaking to girls i call them "luv" or something else like darlin, most people like a smiling, informal big guy...

after a vien popping, DC set, i will smile and nod to the avrerage joe pensioner next to me just to show, hey its just a set but its ova now... i AM normal..

 

[Buildinthaskinnys]

Sorry to repeat the same rants that have probly been said countless times before..but i just cant figure some things out. Does it ever seem like some people avoid you just because you are bigger than them or something? Im really not trying to sound full of myself, but Ive seriously wondered this sometimes. Like when my friends will go to the beach to mess around and play football or whatever everybody is invited but they wont ever tell me until afterwards. I know there was girls there.. do they feel inferior or think I would try to get all the attention or something if my shirt was off? Even when certain people go to the bar or whatever I feel like they leave me out so they can try to look the biggest or most good looking or whatever. To be honest it really hurts my feelings when I feel like they puposefully ignore me for something stupid like that.


Im not a guy that thinks hes a "pimp" or tries to start fights or any of that stuff Im actually pretty calm and quiet. I always thought I was pretty polite to everyone too. I cant think of any other reason for them not wanting me to go besides them being insecure or whatever... some friends huh? lol. Hell I know everyone is a little insecure about something but I think I have some serious perception issues from the past because of what Ive mentioned and even relationships. If a girl is ever attracted to me I automatically assume it is just because she likes muscles and not me. And then I worry if I get a little out of shape or whatever that she wont be so impressed. Anyone have to deal with these thoughts? I wonder sometimes if Im just being over paranoid

Well Im certainly not big, but I can give you some advice, DITCH YOUR FRIENDS seriously, if they are insecure or are avoiding you its probably because they look at you as being goal orientated, and directionless people are put off by this. Also last I heard there was no such thing as muscle racism, so get out and talk to people, talk to the people in your gym, meet some new friends. Through my life Ive been friends with fat guys, jocks, skinny dudes, it dont matter if you hang cool you hang cool it dont matter what you look like to me. Friends come and go in life my man.

 

[eroc613]

Well Im certainly not big, but I can give you some advice, DITCH YOUR FRIENDS seriously, if they are insecure or are avoiding you its probably because they look at you as being goal orientated, and directionless people are put off by this. Also last I heard there was no such thing as muscle racism, so get out and talk to people, talk to the people in your gym, meet some new friends. Through my life Ive been friends with fat guys, jocks, skinny dudes, it dont matter if you hang cool you hang cool it dont matter what you look like to me. Friends come and go in life my man.

I guess youv'e never expirenced "muscle racism". I don't know what it's like to be a black man, so I'm not going to say he doesn't expirence racism.